Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Sicked, and tired.

These few days wasn't that bad either. Found back a friend, a long-lost friend... But being too friendly ain't really good huh.. She does not like it =( I shall become cold then. People are just so weird, people like ones who are cold and always not talking, and feel those who talks too much a disturbance. Just know that people who are hyper-active have their sorrows too, just that they don't show.

Yesterday, was just a normal day. With many class-tests which were lame. English test, was just to test us for hardworking-ness. That's what Miss Tang said. It was lucky that it wasn't counted for Term 1.

PE was stupid. The teacher-in-charge, Mr Chew, isn't it to be a teacher! He's nut, old and outdated. Okay, I am sick, and what he said? Even if we are sick, we still can do some exercise so we should bring our PE t-shirt. FUCK him! And he planned to go for a jog around our school for today's lesson. One thing he does not have, a teacher's qualities. He ran, and ran. Left all the other students behind. Some even ran back to school and he just ran and ran like it was his own race. Those who didn't bring their PE kit and was waiting for them in school, were like why are they so fast, and not sweating? And after quite long, Mr Chew came back at last. But only half of the students are back, and he didn't even cared. Man, I really feel like complaining about this teacher... But who really cares?

After PE, nothing really much happened. It was all boring lesson. Only for that biology test, which I thought it was thursday. How worse could it be, not studying for a test... Argh! And just before that, I ate correction liquid. YES, I ate it. I was like chewing on a tube of correction liquid, and I forgot that there was already a hole through it. Eew!! It sucks.. Ahh, and I got stomachache... Biology test was a total trashed-up. I mis-thought a plant-cell for an animal's. There goes my marks. Grrr, I thought I could improve much this year, I really worked hard for most of my test, even revised after I came home from school.

Skipped school today, and got more bored... Can't blame me, got nothing to do, lil' friends to go out with. =(

Oh man, now then I remember. Its pamela's Birthday tommorow. HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance, doubt I can get the present in time...

Nothing really much to blog these few days.. Life is getting more and more boring, without her. But I guess I have much forgotten about her. YES!!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Forgetten....Yet not!

Early in the morning.. Yeah, my Dad fetched me to the MRT station with my brother's bike. A rather cool phantom, looks just like a Harley! Kinda messed up my hair, but that's not really the point. Blahblah~ And just after assembly, got fucked up. Valerie, aka sister, said this. "Aiyo, he really like her alot. You cannot snatch one... Give up lah."

Indeed, forgotten yet not. FUCK IT MAN! I had almost and already forgotten her, and you just got the hell out of me. You think I don't like her? I have had enough, you're lucky that I was still half-awake or you are just so dead.

Damn, I thought I had totally forgotten about her, and she brought it up. And my whole day's mind went away.. You killed my day VALERIE.

Okay, enough about Valerie. Now about 'her'. She was afraid that I am hating her to the core... Firstly, if I really did affect her life that much, OHMYGOSH, how is she going live on... Not sacarstic, but true, she is pretty, a guy's dream date. Many guys would want her, and if she rejects them like that, and scared f they're hurt too much, wouldn't she be wasting so much of her time? I don't know, but I feel I am just another boy who is fond of her, why spent so much thought on me..

If you think I hate you, seriously, won't ever. Read this...
Hating an angel is a sin, falling in love with an angel is a greater sin. You're that angel of my life. Think no evil, ever.
Get it? In no point of my life would I ever hate you...If you think that I am cold, or avioding you, YESIAM. See, I am just trying to forget you, forget those messages, forget about you and me. So give me sometime. Friends, only possible after I feel that you're stranger to me. Time heals all, but how long, I won't know.

Today, went home with Junhao and Noeleen. During the train ride, Junhao asked me why should I continue hating people(As we were talking about L) when I, myself, thinks that I have no friends. I guess this is an old, old question I always ask myself. I can, and had experienced living on a life without friends, so why not? Still, my blog will always be know as ISOLATION-D(present), not ISOLATIONED(past).

Sunday, January 21, 2007


Yeah, made my decision. Holding on wasn't a very good choice after all~ It'll still take time I guess.

Yesterday was total boredom. Nothing to do much on my computer, friends literally ran away, sigh. For the first time, I couldn't reakky find anyone to message with. Am I such a bad person, such a bad friend? In 2 weeks, more than 3 person told me that their sms wanna 'bao' already. Haiz, dounch' know true or not.

Some people would wonder why I wouldn't message them when I'ma bored.. Was chatting with ChiaGek on msn when I really regonized myself. It's girlfriend or nothing.. Being betrayed to many times, I guess I just can't really trust the term 'friends'. Sigh, that's really me, I think.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Short, better than long.

After more than three days.. Oh, now I get it. She didn't dared to come our class because of me, as what Crystal said. Man, I was such foolish fool. Haiz, dwell not on the past, I guess.

Kinda didn't felt like going school on thursdays cos' of her, so really, didn't went. It was still quite bad staying at home still. So I guess I should really give up, short pain is better than long ones huh? But its just so difficult. for the first time I cried for a relationship. Wow-ed.

Guess that I owe my friends an apology for being so cold last few days. Sorry, guys~ and girls. But still, I kinda feel myself as a loner.. Its difficult to find someone in school who I can really talk to. And for your infomation, I HATE sympathy. So don't come running to me only after you read this post. Crapped-assed.

School was sleepy these few days.. Couldn't catch much sleep at night. The night before Wednesday, I went to bed at 10 but only slept at 3am. What's with me man, other girls didn't disrupt my life that much before.. It a was rejection to early, but better I guess so that I won't illusionize myself in what's ain't reality. But still it takes time to forget someone that deeply buried.

So what's up in choir today. Kinda boring as usual. Normal. Nothing unique, nothing special 'bout it. But at last we, Basses could get our notes right. Aww, why do dance have to have their practice there... =(

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

It was a good day, at first

Yesterday, school was normal. But i was missing her so much, just too much. She wouldn't reply my sms too, maybe not wouldn't. It seems like she's busy, and don't feel like smsing me, from the texts she replied. Didn't know what was going on, I thought that she was sad or something..

I was a fool, a big fool. It turns out that it was with me. Read the last paragraph…

Choir was bad, Ms Yee got so fed up at Bass, we couldn’t get our notes right. It was indeed difficult to pitch with the times changing of notes, especially with L beside me. He’s kind of tone-deaf, always gets his notes wrong. But I can’t really blame him, I am not the best either.

But it was the Tenors whom got the hell out of Ms Yee. She was already fed up with them also not getting their notes right, and someone repeated her words like a parrot and pissed her off. She immediately stopped the practice, if I were her, I would have kill everyone! Choir ended, an hour earlier. But the secondary fours still had to be revoiced by Ms Yee so I stayed back and waited for Pamela to go home together.

After that the leaders still had a meeting so I had to wait outside… I knew what they were discuss about anyway, Sectional Leader. I want to be one, eagerly. It’s just my character, to always lead and not to follow. It ain’t my fault.

Their meeting ended, and I’ve got my position. Yay! Sherman was the one who helped me most, surprised. I didn’t know that he’d changed. I thought I wouldn’t be able to be one with L always against me. Thanks guys who’ve helped me become.

I’d find it kind of unfair to others in Bass… Haiz~

Went for dinner with Pamela… And she told me about her ex not long ago. Never heard of such fucker before. Such an ass, grrrr…
Pamela: Don’t need to miss such a fucker, its not worth a thought.

I am writing this now, but my happiness and joy is gone just after reading her blog five minutes ago. She was still with her ex... For the first time, I feel like crying...

I was a fool, a big fool. I've got the whole picture, I guess. She was not meant for me...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Damn the Day

Crapped up. I thought my life would totally changed for the better. It ain't. I guess adventure camp posts will just stop at its first. Ain't no time, ain't no feeling.

So what's up with my day. She's getting irritated with my much loads of smses. Haiz, I'd just want to get closer to her. Never mind, I'll shall give her some peace. Who asked me to be a loner. People's bills are shooting high and can't sms, shit'em. I shouldn't have took such a high-sms plan, it turns out that I can't really use them up. I really do feel like a loner at times, and sometimes I even hate myself why.
At least my new class is better than last year's. Really hated 'em. Still it doesn't content me that much, and some people still get on my nerves, thinking that their popular and could control people. I'd shall not say who, you should know who you are.

School is getting boring, classes are getting sleepy, things are getting more difficult but I don't feel the stress. Everyday I get home, I'd just play. Damn the game, really addictive, I'd just can't stop.

She's mad at me now I guess, but I swear I didn't spread the 'news'. I first thought that her friend knew it, not trying to push the blame. Really sorry. Will you forgive me please?

Its late now, I have not done my A mathematics homework,I have not touch any. And I ain't feeling good about choir anymore. I have this character, always like to win, and now..I'd just don't feel like going for choir. Who I hated before had really shown their true colors. The L and S, fuck 'em. Stop fucking me by my back, I'd really hate it.

Fuck my life.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Adventure Camp

Time flies. Its 2 years sinced my first camp in Secondary school life, Sec One orientation camp. It was fun, not better. The day before, I got caught for my hair length, not by my own form-teacher, but by an idiot who wanted to poked his nose into everything. May hell fall on him always, but he still could not do his job, I had my mother's help. What can they do to me?

Missed the whole day of classes anyway, in wait to cut my hair in which I didn't in the end. Rather excited too, for the next day, the Secondary Three adventure camp. I didn't received mail to my house for the Kit list and Consent form, so I got to know of it just recently. That day I slept rather late, doing my last minute stuffs and packing my Bagpack for the camp. I took quite a idiotic-looking bag, but who cares?
Slept only a few hours and had to wake up and go school. We had to assemble at 6:30am, I had to wake up quite early as my friends should know, I stay rather far. Tired and sleepy, I was still very enthusiastic.

At the start, I didn't really talked much to my classmates, didn't really know them, and I guess they don't really do. Felt so much like a loner.
And it goes on....

I had one so-called friend already there, Lewis, but he had a character like me, friendly but easily angry. Not very good to go with I guess. It was quite a long ride to the island, the campsite at Pulau Ubin. It was my first time there! I thought I may even get sea-sick in the bump-boat ride to the small island, phew.
We reach the island, got into a big room where the trainers were introduced to us. Something I really hate about trainers, they are so effing Hot Tempered. Who caresm they are still trainers. We were taught how to pitch tents, but I felt rather 'fake' as it was those manufactured tents, you don't need hardwork to pitch them, not like those of uniform groups. Its better and easier for us anyway.

Five men tent, the name of it says it all. Five people to one tent. Then we had to divide ourselves and group ourselves into a tent. Of course, people have their own click, I felt such loner. Stephen was kind of Pang-seh'ed too, after he switched class with his own click. My team had Stephen, Liu Ran, Brennan and Wai Kuong. Kinda' and always fed up with Wai Kuong, but he didn't had any other teams to go and we were lacking of people. Brennan is a good person to make friends with, no wonder he's always bullied.

And it does not end here...

Monday, January 01, 2007

My holidays, my Woes.

Oh crap. Its the new year, 1st January. Feeling sick, sick of school, sick of my life. Another 300+ days to holidays in counting. I just love holidays, yet at times I hate 'em. Feeling just like a loner sometimes. I just went for my yearly holiday agaim, to the same old place Penang. Its always the same every year, but every year seems new.
Not many things happened this month without me blogging. Into another new industry instead of the "untalented" blogskins. It sucks anyway. People there don't have real talents.
Yesterday, I sent out 50+ new year messages, guess what, only 3 replied. Haiz~ The first to wish me a good year was unexpectedly, my good lil' sister, janice. I'd just felt that something had happened to her, she seemed...sad.
Okay, a few days ago, I had pretty much fun too. I was stuck outside the door after choir practice, which was quite fun as there were revoice by Ms Yee. My brother called me(after me 30mins of waiting) and told me to go yishun and meet him to play dota. Once played and stuck on for 8hours. Oh my, its 3am. And Cherlyn was still smsing me, I am still confused with my thoughts. I had really much fun there, and got home about 4.I can't believe that I was quite good in that game.
I am getting bored of blogging, it seems a nonsensical verb instead of something that helps in our life. Getting bored of life. Thats my new year resolution I guess.