i must study hard!

updated!

hellloooooooooo.
this is zack from epichouse.
(:
i dont sound like me?
wahaha. cos i aint szehoe :DDDD

update update update!
update-d! :DD

Merry Christmas!

Ok, what has been stopping me from blogging? The lack of time, and just plain laziness. Sigh, so previous posts about blogging can save your life, I guess its all shit now. :X Anyway, to me, its kinda' a MUST MUST to blog about how I celebrated Christmas!

Yay! How should I say it, I no longer feel lonely anymore. Don't really think it temporary or something. Just, I feel that friends are always around. :D

Woke up on christmas eve, didn't really thought that I would be going out. Never in my life have I celebrated Christmas. Some time in the afternoon, Pamela, my gooooooood friend called me and asked me out to celebrate christmas. And now I still wondered how the heck I rejected her. But I called her again 2 hours later and we went out! We tried asking more people out, but it doesn't seemed that anyone had the time to go out with us. Pamela wanted to eat steamboat, but somehow, as she thought of meeting her friend in Orchard, our dream of steamboat kinda' tarnished. :X I spent $10 even before meeting her, $5 on my belt, and $5 for my MRT card to travel, gawd.

It was a funny trip there tho'. We kept laughing and laughing, but when I think back now, what on earth are we laughing about?! I guess its just the company which lifts the mood. So when you're sad, always be with a friend!

When we got to Orchard, it was like "Oh my God!" How do I describe it. In Chinese, theres a idiom which goes like Humans look like the mountains and the seas. :X Pardon me if my translation is bad. It was so difficult to even out of the MRT station, and it was even worse getting to Far East Plaza to meet Pamela's friend.

It wasn't really meeting her friend, but friends. Ok, and we were scammed to do some donation for a organization that kinda' helps teenagers. I seriously don't trust them! :X And I still owe Pamela $2 for the donation. Anyway, they were all quite friendly people, tho' most of them turn out to be Christian. :X Except Shawn. Lol, hes' a Christian traitor. xD And we, Pamela and me, were kinda' hungry, so we went to Cineleisure. We made there somehow, walking with thousands of people, squeezing through the streets. It was quite fun tho', but it was really hot at there. Its like, the way penguins work, you know. Clumbing all together, temperature increase greatly. We reached there somehow tho' and thought, "At last, air-con!" But the air-con there was weak too. :X We couldn't really get a place to eat, even the restaurants were full. Got a few seats in Pastamania too, and I ate beef Lasane, it has been quite some time since I ate beef tho'. :(

Then we went back on the streets to get some fun spraying. I used my first can so I had the very urge to get another. Kinda' got some sellers, or should I say some Aunties, selling. Bought 5 for $10, paid $4 to Shawn's brother, but somehow got one only, as I don't wanna be seen as the selfish guy. However, a few of the spray cans got confiscated after a few minutes. Phew, I kept mine, but it was still confiscated during a spray can fight. :D The police caught hold of me, sigh, there goes my fun. So we were left with not many spray cans, so we just went to find more sellers. Couldn't really find anyone selling again.. And we wanted to countdown already.

Maybe the others had a place in mind, becos' I don't really know where were we walking to. Kinda' rested for awhile to cool down as it was so hot in the crowd, and continued squeezing thru'. We reached Heeren somehow.. And NewUrbanMale was having somewhat a party outside. So we waited there for the countdown. It was kinda' lame tho', the Balcony had a countdown, and they went like "5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Merry Christmas!" And a few minutes later, the NewUrbanMale shop then started their countdown. So this means that Jesus had different birthtimes? :D

It was fun tho', after the countdown, everyone started spraying each other. Feel so sad, as I didn't had a spray can. Got attack, sprayed, ran, and squatted on the floor. I thought that they would stop, they made me into a ice cream. :D But they're all so friendly, after spray, they would go like "Merry Christmas!" Weird huh. And one of our friends, or should I say shawn's friend got into some trouble when she was pulled from the back and fell down. Sigh, didn't want to bother tho', don't even know them. O.o And went to party at the NewUrbanMale shop. Its kinda' lame tho', there were only some Banglas dancing themselves. Its utter digusting when two Banglas grine each other. Eww. Shawn and friends didn't dared to go out and dance tho' they're dancers. But at least there were two poppers there, other than the Banglas. I gotta learn dancing soon!

Everyone kinda' got tired, and we went to rest outside Heeren main entrance. The others were still trying to cool that girl down, still don't know her name. They all know mine anyway, gave all my namecards out. :D Rested there for awhile, and Pamela and I kinda' decided to pool. But sudden change of plans as Pamela wanted to meet Joan and go home. So I went to meet my brother and go to my cousin barry's place. There wasn't much life there tho', they were all like almost a decade older than me. But I didn't felt that left out tho'. And I still wonder why, so many people said that I was drunk yesterday! :D Didn't quite regconize Audrey, Barry's sister. But it was great meeting Auntie Juicy and my other cousins. They wanted to go to Cosy Bay to chill out, and I had worries at first that if I could even enter. But Cosy Bay didn't had bouncers, so it was okay. They were all car freaks and drove there. There were 3 cars, 2 fully modified civic and a coupe, and there was my brother's new Avante. :D Kinda' odd one out. Drove there and found out that Cosy Bay and every other thing was closed. Such a wet-blanket, and we all departed to our homes from there.

When I look back to how I celebrated Christmas last year, I guess I really changed alot, my life and me. I don't feel like a loner, lonely anymore! I guess I really do have friends around me now, and I didn't had such a great time in my life. Thanks Pamela for asking me out! To many loners out there, friends do not come to you, you have to seek them. One thing I'm different from others, I want to meet more loners, and befriend them. Somehow, we are all still loners! Merry Merry Christmas too all!

Lonely, long day.

Today, the lowest point in my life. Although nothing much had happened to me, or should I say that NOTHING happened, which made my life miserable. The day got so long, that things that happened in the morning, to me, it was like happenings of yesterdays.

My life had been very normal for the past few months, if you're wondering. Love, unreciprocated. Cher is still the same old cher, nothing changed. And Boyi seemed to disappear from my life, it seems like God is trying to delete her from my life. The photos disappeared into thin air when my brother reinstalled the computer. Her memory in my phone in a game, was destroyed by friends.. Its like, such 'miracle'. Never mind if you don't get a shit of what I am saying now.

Had the last 2nd paper of the End-Of-Years, History, one of my best subjects. But it was quite a "anyhow-do". Had started the day well when I went to met Juinli at 6 at Sembawang Macs'. Had quite a story before it too, which I was frightened by an Indian Woman. Lols.

The paper ended so early, which speaks troubles. Its the same old thing again, the loneliness I feel. Everyone had a place to go, Juinli was going to Sentosa with her clique, and others had their own plans. I wanted to wait for Cher and Jo, but somehow, I wasn't really happy about yesterdays'. I guess that they would not have guessed how pissed I was, they won't really bother.

So after the papers, I came home straight. Loner huh? And I am stuck at the computer until now, 15 hours? Sigh, I just want to isolate myself from the World. Anyway, I already am.

Guessed what, I played the game so long that I leveled more than 20 times in the game. -.-

Still, Happy Birthday Juinli, my lil' penguin. That was my surprise for yer'.

Another day out with my cousins!

The day before yesterday, it was the last paper of my common test! The common test just took up so much of my sleeping time, I was already exhausted. But the day just after the last paper, I was going out with my cousins! Freakin' tired.

In the car going to meet them, I slept thru' the journey. Ahhhh, how can I enjoy the day like that?! And we're even going to the movies, just hopin' for myself not to sleep in the movie. Junction8 wasn't even half-open when we reached there, but my brother had already booked the tickets for the movie "Secrets". And I didn't know that there's a dollar surcharge for bookings.

They were like so late? Supposed to be meeting them at 1030, but they only came on 1130. The other two brothers came first. Jerald and .... Shit forgotten his name. Just some JC guy going to take his A levels. Walked around to waste time. And I saw my rabbit hoppin' around Junction8 with her mate. Yihui! Or maybe it was she who saw me. They came, and I was already hunger-dead, yet they didn't wanted to eat, so I just ate the popcorns! Went into the movie, and saw my rabbit again! "Such a small world..." She said in her blog, yeah! So many other movies to watch, why Secrets? xP They're a couple, but us?

The movie was great. Totally unexpected. I wonder if its true? They even showed a 1979 Class Photo with Jay in it, but Jay can't be that old either. Maybe its all fictional? They just made the photo. Yeah. Supernatural hardly exist in this world. Hardly, doesn't mean don't. It was still a great movie tho'. All the girls are so pretty.:D

The movie ended, and they delayed and delayed when I was already hunger-fied. At last, after walking around for quite long, even went to visit the Jacobs Showcase at Level 2 Atrium, got some free biscuits to eat, they wanted to go to Macdonald to eat. But my brother and me went to MOS Burger ourselves. Ate the prawn cutlet burger, kinda' missed that time eating with Cher. Going out with her just lit my life.. Back to the topic, I even saw Rachel with her boyfriend! It has been like 3 years since I last saw her?! Sigh, feeling so saddened, every girl has a boy, everyone has a partner to rely on.

After eating, they were deciding where to go yet again. I'd just hate it, they're all so indecisive. Bowling bowling! Yeah, they decided on going bowling, instead of pool. Went to Yishun Safra as my brother is a member there, but somehow, the offer only applies to the card holder. Sigh! Still, after going rounds, to the arcade, the pool centre and also the swimming pool (They actually wanted to swim in their clothes!), and at last we went to the bowling alley. Saw Qian Hui at the pool centre tho'. I am always right, she got the pretty looks, which stands out even more in her outing clothing. Haha, but she was so bored there. Her friend even wanted to get one of my cousins' handphone number. Too bad they're from Holland. x)

Went to bowl, got our lanes quite quick. And Boyi, wanted to have her bumpers! Lol, would it be fun? They could even strike with it! Haha. My score ain't that bad afterall as its not my usual Sport. Hmm, but didn't even got a strike. I also gave some of my turns to Liting, she didn't wanted to play. After that, went for some pool-ing at the table in the bowling alley. Boyi wanted to learn how to play, and she was indeed a fast learner! Just 2 rounds of it, and we went to find the others at the arcade. Blahblahblah, and we didn't know where to go next. So just slacked at the corridors of the Club. Then met with some troubles, my cousin Boyi, being a busybody, told 2 gangsta's not to smoke and pointed to the no-smoking sign. Cultural difference it maybe, I wouldn't really bother. Then the security guards came and shoo-ed them off. When they were walking away, my other cousin kept looking, and the usual reply by those people, "Kua lan jiao ah?". Who bothers? Just don't wan'na get into useless troubles and waste our time.

We decided to go to my place, and walked to the MRT. Somehow, the two guys were behind us, but I wouldn't really bother, as if they really wanted to "tio" us, they would have done it in the Club already. Just went our own ways. Kinda' slipped into the mrt, I forgotten to bring my Ez-link, but didn't wanted to spend money on the train rides. Haha. Went to the coffeeshop near my house and they were again, deciding to whether take-away or eat in. Freak! So it was take-away at last. Reached my house and I wondered, are they staying in or going home? If they are going home, they can't stay for long as they need to catch the train. Ended up staying instead tho'. And I don't mind them staying, its always fun with them around. Didn't play hide and seek like before tho', just slacked around and some went to get rest. Liting and Jerald was with me at the computer, QuanYi was with my eldest brother in the room, Kengguan, Benghock, and Boyi went for supper I suppose, and MeiYi was chatting with my mother. It was getting really late and most of them went to bed, unlike the time before which no one went to bed. It only left Boyi and Me who weren't asleep. Before that, I also made a new friend on msn! Joanna, didn't know she was friendly. Boyi didn't wanted to sleep tho', she was very troubled, yet couldn't talk about it. So we just chatted about other things, like her new life, what was she going to be? Quite unbelievable, we talked and talked, until the Sun rose up. It was morning already! She also said that I am not sensitive to girls, maybe that explains my flirt character? Sigh. But she also said that it was not surprising for me to be a flirt, she didn't say that I had the looks or what, just the character to make girls laugh? Happy? Didn't know that I had that "X-Factor".

In the morning, my Dad was going to Malaysia, and the others were still asleep. Went to disturb my 3rd Brother sleep, but I somehow ended up sleeping too. Was to exhausted, three days of sleep became 12hours. So what to expected, I slept till' night time. From the early morning, to 10 in the night! But I still woke up to send them off tho'. Somehow, the chatting last night, brought me closer to Boyi, and I sometimes missed that Hyper character of hers, but she also said that that wasn't her.

They are going back in four days' time. I guess I'll missed the times I spend with them, tho' I sometimes find them a lil' overboard and irritating.

Gonna' meet Boyi for pool tommorow! Guess that its gonna be fun. But she wants to go Escape too. Ahhhhh! And I am so gonna' skip school tommorow. There's a problem now, I can't go to bed! Just woke up not long ago from my sleep! Shit!

But it was good that I spent my whole day, it kept me from thinking about my life and friends. Thanks guys for all of your words of comfort. And TengHui, I know you! Thanks for that Birthday email too! And to ProFire, thanks! I guess I know what's my life going to be. Entrepreneur, but I am still trying to find the friends of life.

I wish I could kill, or be killed.

My current mood now, fuckin' fucked up.
First, it was my 'friends' and it was my dad.


I hate it when I am disregarded, or regarded unimportant. Maybe its the fact, I am just a nobody. Its not the first time, not the first person who had done that to me. For an outing, I am like always the burden, and they would go like "Come if you want. (I wouldn't care)" Why? Why is this always happening to me. Even the ones I am "close" to. Maybe these "close friends" do not make my life better, instead worsen it. If would someone just do something for me, just for a minute, I would be contented already. Why can't they just reply, "Come, we want you to come."


People always say, you got so many friends already, don't ya? These friends are just friends, friends that only say Hello and Bye. What I want is just a friend who can be always there for me, or just care about me. Sigh, when will that be? Those fuckin' close friends, fuck off.


Then when I got home, it was perfectly fine before he got back. After he came home, he just fucked me off. Why must he even come home? That's my character, I treat every single shit as treasures given to me by my friends. So what if its just chocolates? He said he needed to teach me not to be selfish. How generous is he? As if I never bought anything back home for the family. And what he always bought back, as he credited himself, was just shit. How much does it cost?

Compared to how much you earn, how much you spent them on this family? I don't even need you, you don't pay for any single shit in my life. So fuck off, fuckin' asshole. Life would be much better without you. I don't need your shit money, you don't even give me a single.

Maybe one day, I would just take a gun, pop his head, or mine.

"You selfish bitch, I hope you fuckin' burn in hell with shit." Cleaning Out My Closet - Eminem

A Fun Day Out

Yes, I am back. Just another post. Was a lil' down last few days. The spammer at my tagboard, if yer think that I blog about loners is that becos' I am one, you're right. But I am a loner, seekin' for friends, real good ones. :D And yes, I do offer free blogskins. Go to www.blogskins.com/me/*fallensoul/
Also, thanks for all the tags! Don't stop them coming!

Last Saturday, woke up in the early morning, early for my weekends, around 8. Haha, had to prepare, was going out with my Holland cousins! They were in S'pore for quite sometime already, this wasn't the first outing. They wanted to go Escape© Theme Park, tho' boring, we obliged. (We represents my brothers & I) Some of us went there by my dad's car, the others took the cab. It has been many, many years since I went to the Theme Park. It's rather expensive for someone over 12, a huge increase in price, from $8+ to $16+! And the last time I went was during one of my primary schools' Chalet. Could still remember it quite vividly. The blue hair, the Kids' Central, the poker cards. Precious memories. :D

At the entrance, my 2nd brother was still deciding whether to tag along in the Theme Park, or go for pool with my 3rd Brother and Liting, as they weren't really prepared for the 'scary' rides. Still, they went in with us. It was also quite saddening as when we were buying the tickets, there was one notice saying that 3 rides were closed for maintenance. The Revolution, Rainbow and Pirate Ship! But we got a complimentary ticket for every ticket we bought, so it was quite worthwhile.

The first ride was lame, but my 2nd Brother was afraid at first too, as it would rise to quite some high. The so called teapot ride, it was supposed to be scary, but it doesn't seemed so as the speed and revolutions it took was quite slow. And everyone was bored by it.

Then they went to the Yakult Ride which was indeed quite lame. But I felt nauseous after it as my stomach was pressed onto the seat, becos' it was a lying face down ride. It kinda' destroyed my day..

The third ride made me laugh my stomach out. My 2nd Brother (Again!) sat infront of me, the first 2 seats with my other cousin, Liting, and he was shouting all the way during the ride. Guess what, it was just the Family Train Ride, and he told me that he wasn't prepared for the speed. I was seating with my eldest brother and we were laughing our heads off!

But all the previous rides were boring, thus they wanted something more challenging. The Inverter! Its' quite amazing that all of them, except me and one of my cousins, went up. I wasn't feeling well, the nauseous thingy, and she didn't dared to. So we went to ride the Aeroplane Ride which went round and round, and made me worse. Almost threw up after that.

After them enjoying the Inverter twice, we went to what's more fun, the GoKart! As Liting could not drive the Advance Course, we went for the Beginner, which was for 2 persons. The Driver had to be <18, and my cousin wanted me to drive, so I just bluffed my way thru'. And it worked! When the lady asked for my age, I went like "Eighteen." Wow. And I am only 15 now. The first round wasn't really racing, we just went rounds and rounds, but I was still able to overtake some. It was so cool, my 2nd Brother took bigger turns and left space on the right at the last turn, and I just slipped through. But it was quite a rough riding with us, always bumping on to each other. The 2nd ride was worse, with my 3rd Brother and 2nd Cousin back from their Advance Course. The Theme Park only had 4 GoKarts, and for 1 round, it was all of us racing together. But it wasn't allowed, they were clever, they let us go one by one, but we outsmarted them. We all waited at the bridge, where it wasn't visible to the workers there, and when all reached, we started our race. It was really a fierce ride. I was leading, taking small turns, and kept blocking the ones behind. At the 2nd Round, I accidentally took a larger turn, and my 2nd Brother was tailing me, and he did what I did to him in the 1st time we played. But I tried to block him, and skidded. My GoKart stopped after skidding few metres, but my eldest brother didn't know and knocked right straight into my Gokart! It was a head-on and I could see them coming, as my car was facing the opposite direction. Everyone's Gokart could not move, and the workers had to come and push a lil' and we tried to continue our race. My eldest brother went to the bridge and waited again, but was spotted by one of the workers and he shouted "Still want to race ah? Go, go, go!" It was hilarious...

At some point of time, we were also very bored, and went into the main shelter of the Theme Park to play the money games. Luck was on our side! It was just the 2nd game and my 3rd Cousin won a HUGE Gorrila Soft Toy! It was difficult to carry around, but we were happy! Everyone looked upon us with admiration, as it was so attracting attention, everywhere we went. Even after we won that prize, we still went spending money on those games, losing, of course.

We also went to try the Advance GoKart, and planned our race again. Now stopping on the right lane at the top-most point of the course, so that we would not block any other people who were driving too. The race was fun, at the first lap, I didn't really know which position I was, but I know I wasn't first. At the 2nd lap, I tried to over-take my 3rd Brother with a smaller turn, which he wouldn't budge. I kept bumping onto him, and he got slower and slower, until I overtook him and didn't really cared. Maybe I did, as I went to the top-most point and waited for the others, my eldest brother was there too. But no one came, weird huh? My 3rd brother was nowhere to be seen. So we just went to finish our race. We came out of our GoKart, and 3rd Brother still wasn't in sight. After awhile, we saw him walking down the stairs with a worker of the Theme Park. So embarrasing! Where's the Gokart?! I was told that it was his Gokart that petrol was drained off. Phew! It wasn't becos' of my bumping. Haha!

We were quite bored of Gokart, becos' of the waiting time, and went to play some other rides. The haunted house! The first time going there was indeed really scary, but the second time was fun! Its saddening that they didn't employ workers to scare the guests.

We went back to the shelter, and played a few more times. We were really lucky, the WaterGun stall was almost full-house, but they needed one more person to play for a better prize. So my eldest brother went to play, as my 3rd cousin said that he was Army-trained. He was also one of a kind, took so long so decide to whether he should play or not, and kept the other players waiting. Worse still, after waiting so long, my brother won the prize away. What an ass! And it was another monkey. So cute!

We were all hungry, very hungry, and went out of the Theme Park. My eldest brother wanted to go Suntec for dining at one of the restaurant. We took 2 cabs there, but the restaurant wasn't to be found. My 2nd Brother rented a trolley for the huge gorilla which after awhile, I sat in it, and put the monkey over me. It was quite fun, being pushed around, without the need to walk.

After walking, or being pushed for quite long, we still ended up at Macdonalds©. And I learnt something new from my cousins. At holland, a meal cost around SGD$10, and it was the cheapest food there! Cool huh? Ordered many set-meals, and the fries were able to stack up to a hill. And when I ate, I realised that my gullet didn't hurt anymore! It was bugging me for the last 8 days! Quite a miracle, I should say. I even thought that I may die from it...

My 2nd cousin always felt nauseous, which I don't know why, and she almost threw up after eating. Phew! And after dining, they wanted to go for a movie. I was again, being pushed around, with many passers-by looking. Didn't really cared anyway. Liting also wanted to sit in the trolley, so she jumped on to the huge gorilla, which was on top of me! It didn't hurt tho', as the gorilla is big and soft.

My 2nd cousin even went to buy a sleeping bag, as she was afraid of getting cold in the movie, tho' I found it really really weird. Disturbia, was what we were planning to watch. Tho' I don't really like thriller, or horror movies, I still went for it. There weren't many movies showing too, as they had already watched the Simpsons, transformers...

After some time, we went in for seating at last, carried the huge gorilla, and left the trolley at some corner. A dollar was lost, but it wasn't mine anyway. Haha! It was quite empty in the cinema, so we were able to give the gorilla a seat!

I didn't really liked the movie, tho' its scary, quite, but the story-line wasn't good. The introductory part was too long, for almost an hour plus, and the climax only lasted for awhile. But it was quite a nice show to watch, with the change of plots here and there.

After the movie, we were all so tired, and started the long walk to the MRT station. It was really a long long walk. It was my 3rd time this month already, twice with Cher. I will treasure the times going out with her, it was quite nostalgic tho'. Even tho' it was just like a few weeks ago, I felt a lil' dajavu?

We managed to catch the last train, also managed to catch the last train back to Kovan, where they were staying now, at one of our aunt's house. I say I will blog every single happening that day, and I will. I was so thirsty by then, and when I saw a Macdonalds©, I rushed in and got a large Iced Lemon Tea. Refreshing! Haha. It soon disappeared into each an everyones' stomachs tho'.

After spending sometime at their house, we felt tired too, and went home by taxi. It was a fun day with these cousins of mine!