Isolated

2008-06-27T21:47:00.001+08:00

i must study hard!

updated!

2008-06-09T21:15:00.003+08:00

hellloooooooooo.
this is zack from epichouse.
(:
i dont sound like me?
wahaha. cos i aint szehoe :DDDD

update update update!
update-d! :DD

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T18:32:00.000+08:00

Ok, what has been stopping me from blogging? The lack of time, and just plain laziness. Sigh, so previous posts about blogging can save your life, I guess its all shit now. :X Anyway, to me, its kinda' a MUST MUST to blog about how I celebrated Christmas!

Yay! How should I say it, I no longer feel lonely anymore. Don't really think it temporary or something. Just, I feel that friends are always around. :D

Woke up on christmas eve, didn't really thought that I would be going out. Never in my life have I celebrated Christmas. Some time in the afternoon, Pamela, my gooooooood friend called me and asked me out to celebrate christmas. And now I still wondered how the heck I rejected her. But I called her again 2 hours later and we went out! We tried asking more people out, but it doesn't seemed that anyone had the time to go out with us. Pamela wanted to eat steamboat, but somehow, as she thought of meeting her friend in Orchard, our dream of steamboat kinda' tarnished. :X I spent $10 even before meeting her, $5 on my belt, and $5 for my MRT card to travel, gawd.

It was a funny trip there tho'. We kept laughing and laughing, but when I think back now, what on earth are we laughing about?! I guess its just the company which lifts the mood. So when you're sad, always be with a friend!

When we got to Orchard, it was like "Oh my God!" How do I describe it. In Chinese, theres a idiom which goes like Humans look like the mountains and the seas. :X Pardon me if my translation is bad. It was so difficult to even out of the MRT station, and it was even worse getting to Far East Plaza to meet Pamela's friend.

It wasn't really meeting her friend, but friends. Ok, and we were scammed to do some donation for a organization that kinda' helps teenagers. I seriously don't trust them! :X And I still owe Pamela $2 for the donation. Anyway, they were all quite friendly people, tho' most of them turn out to be Christian. :X Except Shawn. Lol, hes' a Christian traitor. xD And we, Pamela and me, were kinda' hungry, so we went to Cineleisure. We made there somehow, walking with thousands of people, squeezing through the streets. It was quite fun tho', but it was really hot at there. Its like, the way penguins work, you know. Clumbing all together, temperature increase greatly. We reached there somehow tho' and thought, "At last, air-con!" But the air-con there was weak too. :X We couldn't really get a place to eat, even the restaurants were full. Got a few seats in Pastamania too, and I ate beef Lasane, it has been quite some time since I ate beef tho'. :(

Then we went back on the streets to get some fun spraying. I used my first can so I had the very urge to get another. Kinda' got some sellers, or should I say some Aunties, selling. Bought 5 for $10, paid $4 to Shawn's brother, but somehow got one only, as I don't wanna be seen as the selfish guy. However, a few of the spray cans got confiscated after a few minutes. Phew, I kept mine, but it was still confiscated during a spray can fight. :D The police caught hold of me, sigh, there goes my fun. So we were left with not many spray cans, so we just went to find more sellers. Couldn't really find anyone selling again.. And we wanted to countdown already.

Maybe the others had a place in mind, becos' I don't really know where were we walking to. Kinda' rested for awhile to cool down as it was so hot in the crowd, and continued squeezing thru'. We reached Heeren somehow.. And NewUrbanMale was having somewhat a party outside. So we waited there for the countdown. It was kinda' lame tho', the Balcony had a countdown, and they went like "5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Merry Christmas!" And a few minutes later, the NewUrbanMale shop then started their countdown. So this means that Jesus had different birthtimes? :D

It was fun tho', after the countdown, everyone started spraying each other. Feel so sad, as I didn't had a spray can. Got attack, sprayed, ran, and squatted on the floor. I thought that they would stop, they made me into a ice cream. :D But they're all so friendly, after spray, they would go like "Merry Christmas!" Weird huh. And one of our friends, or should I say shawn's friend got into some trouble when she was pulled from the back and fell down. Sigh, didn't want to bother tho', don't even know them. O.o And went to party at the NewUrbanMale shop. Its kinda' lame tho', there were only some Banglas dancing themselves. Its utter digusting when two Banglas grine each other. Eww. Shawn and friends didn't dared to go out and dance tho' they're dancers. But at least there were two poppers there, other than the Banglas. I gotta learn dancing soon!

Everyone kinda' got tired, and we went to rest outside Heeren main entrance. The others were still trying to cool that girl down, still don't know her name. They all know mine anyway, gave all my namecards out. :D Rested there for awhile, and Pamela and I kinda' decided to pool. But sudden change of plans as Pamela wanted to meet Joan and go home. So I went to meet my brother and go to my cousin barry's place. There wasn't much life there tho', they were all like almost a decade older than me. But I didn't felt that left out tho'. And I still wonder why, so many people said that I was drunk yesterday! :D Didn't quite regconize Audrey, Barry's sister. But it was great meeting Auntie Juicy and my other cousins. They wanted to go to Cosy Bay to chill out, and I had worries at first that if I could even enter. But Cosy Bay didn't had bouncers, so it was okay. They were all car freaks and drove there. There were 3 cars, 2 fully modified civic and a coupe, and there was my brother's new Avante. :D Kinda' odd one out. Drove there and found out that Cosy Bay and every other thing was closed. Such a wet-blanket, and we all departed to our homes from there.

When I look back to how I celebrated Christmas last year, I guess I really changed alot, my life and me. I don't feel like a loner, lonely anymore! I guess I really do have friends around me now, and I didn't had such a great time in my life. Thanks Pamela for asking me out! To many loners out there, friends do not come to you, you have to seek them. One thing I'm different from others, I want to meet more loners, and befriend them. Somehow, we are all still loners! Merry Merry Christmas too all!

Lonely, long day.

2007-10-06T02:57:00.000+08:00

Today, the lowest point in my life. Although nothing much had happened to me, or should I say that NOTHING happened, which made my life miserable. The day got so long, that things that happened in the morning, to me, it was like happenings of yesterdays.

My life had been very normal for the past few months, if you're wondering. Love, unreciprocated. Cher is still the same old cher, nothing changed. And Boyi seemed to disappear from my life, it seems like God is trying to delete her from my life. The photos disappeared into thin air when my brother reinstalled the computer. Her memory in my phone in a game, was destroyed by friends.. Its like, such 'miracle'. Never mind if you don't get a shit of what I am saying now.

Had the last 2nd paper of the End-Of-Years, History, one of my best subjects. But it was quite a "anyhow-do". Had started the day well when I went to met Juinli at 6 at Sembawang Macs'. Had quite a story before it too, which I was frightened by an Indian Woman. Lols.

The paper ended so early, which speaks troubles. Its the same old thing again, the loneliness I feel. Everyone had a place to go, Juinli was going to Sentosa with her clique, and others had their own plans. I wanted to wait for Cher and Jo, but somehow, I wasn't really happy about yesterdays'. I guess that they would not have guessed how pissed I was, they won't really bother.

So after the papers, I came home straight. Loner huh? And I am stuck at the computer until now, 15 hours? Sigh, I just want to isolate myself from the World. Anyway, I already am.

Guessed what, I played the game so long that I leveled more than 20 times in the game. -.-

Still, Happy Birthday Juinli, my lil' penguin. That was my surprise for yer'.

Another day out with my cousins!

2007-08-20T00:49:00.000+08:00

The day before yesterday, it was the last paper of my common test! The common test just took up so much of my sleeping time, I was already exhausted. But the day just after the last paper, I was going out with my cousins! Freakin' tired.

In the car going to meet them, I slept thru' the journey. Ahhhh, how can I enjoy the day like that?! And we're even going to the movies, just hopin' for myself not to sleep in the movie. Junction8 wasn't even half-open when we reached there, but my brother had already booked the tickets for the movie "Secrets". And I didn't know that there's a dollar surcharge for bookings.

They were like so late? Supposed to be meeting them at 1030, but they only came on 1130. The other two brothers came first. Jerald and .... Shit forgotten his name. Just some JC guy going to take his A levels. Walked around to waste time. And I saw my rabbit hoppin' around Junction8 with her mate. Yihui! Or maybe it was she who saw me. They came, and I was already hunger-dead, yet they didn't wanted to eat, so I just ate the popcorns! Went into the movie, and saw my rabbit again! "Such a small world..." She said in her blog, yeah! So many other movies to watch, why Secrets? xP They're a couple, but us?

The movie was great. Totally unexpected. I wonder if its true? They even showed a 1979 Class Photo with Jay in it, but Jay can't be that old either. Maybe its all fictional? They just made the photo. Yeah. Supernatural hardly exist in this world. Hardly, doesn't mean don't. It was still a great movie tho'. All the girls are so pretty.:D

The movie ended, and they delayed and delayed when I was already hunger-fied. At last, after walking around for quite long, even went to visit the Jacobs Showcase at Level 2 Atrium, got some free biscuits to eat, they wanted to go to Macdonald to eat. But my brother and me went to MOS Burger ourselves. Ate the prawn cutlet burger, kinda' missed that time eating with Cher. Going out with her just lit my life.. Back to the topic, I even saw Rachel with her boyfriend! It has been like 3 years since I last saw her?! Sigh, feeling so saddened, every girl has a boy, everyone has a partner to rely on.

After eating, they were deciding where to go yet again. I'd just hate it, they're all so indecisive. Bowling bowling! Yeah, they decided on going bowling, instead of pool. Went to Yishun Safra as my brother is a member there, but somehow, the offer only applies to the card holder. Sigh! Still, after going rounds, to the arcade, the pool centre and also the swimming pool (They actually wanted to swim in their clothes!), and at last we went to the bowling alley. Saw Qian Hui at the pool centre tho'. I am always right, she got the pretty looks, which stands out even more in her outing clothing. Haha, but she was so bored there. Her friend even wanted to get one of my cousins' handphone number. Too bad they're from Holland. x)

Went to bowl, got our lanes quite quick. And Boyi, wanted to have her bumpers! Lol, would it be fun? They could even strike with it! Haha. My score ain't that bad afterall as its not my usual Sport. Hmm, but didn't even got a strike. I also gave some of my turns to Liting, she didn't wanted to play. After that, went for some pool-ing at the table in the bowling alley. Boyi wanted to learn how to play, and she was indeed a fast learner! Just 2 rounds of it, and we went to find the others at the arcade. Blahblahblah, and we didn't know where to go next. So just slacked at the corridors of the Club. Then met with some troubles, my cousin Boyi, being a busybody, told 2 gangsta's not to smoke and pointed to the no-smoking sign. Cultural difference it maybe, I wouldn't really bother. Then the security guards came and shoo-ed them off. When they were walking away, my other cousin kept looking, and the usual reply by those people, "Kua lan jiao ah?". Who bothers? Just don't wan'na get into useless troubles and waste our time.

We decided to go to my place, and walked to the MRT. Somehow, the two guys were behind us, but I wouldn't really bother, as if they really wanted to "tio" us, they would have done it in the Club already. Just went our own ways. Kinda' slipped into the mrt, I forgotten to bring my Ez-link, but didn't wanted to spend money on the train rides. Haha. Went to the coffeeshop near my house and they were again, deciding to whether take-away or eat in. Freak! So it was take-away at last. Reached my house and I wondered, are they staying in or going home? If they are going home, they can't stay for long as they need to catch the train. Ended up staying instead tho'. And I don't mind them staying, its always fun with them around. Didn't play hide and seek like before tho', just slacked around and some went to get rest. Liting and Jerald was with me at the computer, QuanYi was with my eldest brother in the room, Kengguan, Benghock, and Boyi went for supper I suppose, and MeiYi was chatting with my mother. It was getting really late and most of them went to bed, unlike the time before which no one went to bed. It only left Boyi and Me who weren't asleep. Before that, I also made a new friend on msn! Joanna, didn't know she was friendly. Boyi didn't wanted to sleep tho', she was very troubled, yet couldn't talk about it. So we just chatted about other things, like her new life, what was she going to be? Quite unbelievable, we talked and talked, until the Sun rose up. It was morning already! She also said that I am not sensitive to girls, maybe that explains my flirt character? Sigh. But she also said that it was not surprising for me to be a flirt, she didn't say that I had the looks or what, just the character to make girls laugh? Happy? Didn't know that I had that "X-Factor".

In the morning, my Dad was going to Malaysia, and the others were still asleep. Went to disturb my 3rd Brother sleep, but I somehow ended up sleeping too. Was to exhausted, three days of sleep became 12hours. So what to expected, I slept till' night time. From the early morning, to 10 in the night! But I still woke up to send them off tho'. Somehow, the chatting last night, brought me closer to Boyi, and I sometimes missed that Hyper character of hers, but she also said that that wasn't her.

They are going back in four days' time. I guess I'll missed the times I spend with them, tho' I sometimes find them a lil' overboard and irritating.

Gonna' meet Boyi for pool tommorow! Guess that its gonna be fun. But she wants to go Escape too. Ahhhhh! And I am so gonna' skip school tommorow. There's a problem now, I can't go to bed! Just woke up not long ago from my sleep! Shit!

But it was good that I spent my whole day, it kept me from thinking about my life and friends. Thanks guys for all of your words of comfort. And TengHui, I know you! Thanks for that Birthday email too! And to ProFire, thanks! I guess I know what's my life going to be. Entrepreneur, but I am still trying to find the friends of life.

I wish I could kill, or be killed.

2007-08-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

My current mood now, fuckin' fucked up.
First, it was my 'friends' and it was my dad.

I hate it when I am disregarded, or regarded unimportant. Maybe its the fact, I am just a nobody. Its not the first time, not the first person who had done that to me. For an outing, I am like always the burden, and they would go like "Come if you want. (I wouldn't care)" Why? Why is this always happening to me. Even the ones I am "close" to. Maybe these "close friends" do not make my life better, instead worsen it. If would someone just do something for me, just for a minute, I would be contented already. Why can't they just reply, "Come, we want you to come."

People always say, you got so many friends already, don't ya? These friends are just friends, friends that only say Hello and Bye. What I want is just a friend who can be always there for me, or just care about me. Sigh, when will that be? Those fuckin' close friends, fuck off.

Then when I got home, it was perfectly fine before he got back. After he came home, he just fucked me off. Why must he even come home? That's my character, I treat every single shit as treasures given to me by my friends. So what if its just chocolates? He said he needed to teach me not to be selfish. How generous is he? As if I never bought anything back home for the family. And what he always bought back, as he credited himself, was just shit. How much does it cost?

Compared to how much you earn, how much you spent them on this family? I don't even need you, you don't pay for any single shit in my life. So fuck off, fuckin' asshole. Life would be much better without you. I don't need your shit money, you don't even give me a single.

Maybe one day, I would just take a gun, pop his head, or mine.

"You selfish bitch, I hope you fuckin' burn in hell with shit." Cleaning Out My Closet - Eminem

A Fun Day Out

2007-08-06T18:04:00.000+08:00

Yes, I am back. Just another post. Was a lil' down last few days. The spammer at my tagboard, if yer think that I blog about loners is that becos' I am one, you're right. But I am a loner, seekin' for friends, real good ones. :D And yes, I do offer free blogskins. Go to www.blogskins.com/me/*fallensoul/
Also, thanks for all the tags! Don't stop them coming!

Last Saturday, woke up in the early morning, early for my weekends, around 8. Haha, had to prepare, was going out with my Holland cousins! They were in S'pore for quite sometime already, this wasn't the first outing. They wanted to go Escape© Theme Park, tho' boring, we obliged. (We represents my brothers & I) Some of us went there by my dad's car, the others took the cab. It has been many, many years since I went to the Theme Park. It's rather expensive for someone over 12, a huge increase in price, from $8+ to $16+! And the last time I went was during one of my primary schools' Chalet. Could still remember it quite vividly. The blue hair, the Kids' Central, the poker cards. Precious memories. :D

At the entrance, my 2nd brother was still deciding whether to tag along in the Theme Park, or go for pool with my 3rd Brother and Liting, as they weren't really prepared for the 'scary' rides. Still, they went in with us. It was also quite saddening as when we were buying the tickets, there was one notice saying that 3 rides were closed for maintenance. The Revolution, Rainbow and Pirate Ship! But we got a complimentary ticket for every ticket we bought, so it was quite worthwhile.

The first ride was lame, but my 2nd Brother was afraid at first too, as it would rise to quite some high. The so called teapot ride, it was supposed to be scary, but it doesn't seemed so as the speed and revolutions it took was quite slow. And everyone was bored by it.

Then they went to the Yakult Ride which was indeed quite lame. But I felt nauseous after it as my stomach was pressed onto the seat, becos' it was a lying face down ride. It kinda' destroyed my day..

The third ride made me laugh my stomach out. My 2nd Brother (Again!) sat infront of me, the first 2 seats with my other cousin, Liting, and he was shouting all the way during the ride. Guess what, it was just the Family Train Ride, and he told me that he wasn't prepared for the speed. I was seating with my eldest brother and we were laughing our heads off!

But all the previous rides were boring, thus they wanted something more challenging. The Inverter! Its' quite amazing that all of them, except me and one of my cousins, went up. I wasn't feeling well, the nauseous thingy, and she didn't dared to. So we went to ride the Aeroplane Ride which went round and round, and made me worse. Almost threw up after that.

After them enjoying the Inverter twice, we went to what's more fun, the GoKart! As Liting could not drive the Advance Course, we went for the Beginner, which was for 2 persons. The Driver had to be <18, and my cousin wanted me to drive, so I just bluffed my way thru'. And it worked! When the lady asked for my age, I went like "Eighteen." Wow. And I am only 15 now. The first round wasn't really racing, we just went rounds and rounds, but I was still able to overtake some. It was so cool, my 2nd Brother took bigger turns and left space on the right at the last turn, and I just slipped through. But it was quite a rough riding with us, always bumping on to each other. The 2nd ride was worse, with my 3rd Brother and 2nd Cousin back from their Advance Course. The Theme Park only had 4 GoKarts, and for 1 round, it was all of us racing together. But it wasn't allowed, they were clever, they let us go one by one, but we outsmarted them. We all waited at the bridge, where it wasn't visible to the workers there, and when all reached, we started our race. It was really a fierce ride. I was leading, taking small turns, and kept blocking the ones behind. At the 2nd Round, I accidentally took a larger turn, and my 2nd Brother was tailing me, and he did what I did to him in the 1st time we played. But I tried to block him, and skidded. My GoKart stopped after skidding few metres, but my eldest brother didn't know and knocked right straight into my Gokart! It was a head-on and I could see them coming, as my car was facing the opposite direction. Everyone's Gokart could not move, and the workers had to come and push a lil' and we tried to continue our race. My eldest brother went to the bridge and waited again, but was spotted by one of the workers and he shouted "Still want to race ah? Go, go, go!" It was hilarious...

At some point of time, we were also very bored, and went into the main shelter of the Theme Park to play the money games. Luck was on our side! It was just the 2nd game and my 3rd Cousin won a HUGE Gorrila Soft Toy! It was difficult to carry around, but we were happy! Everyone looked upon us with admiration, as it was so attracting attention, everywhere we went. Even after we won that prize, we still went spending money on those games, losing, of course.

We also went to try the Advance GoKart, and planned our race again. Now stopping on the right lane at the top-most point of the course, so that we would not block any other people who were driving too. The race was fun, at the first lap, I didn't really know which position I was, but I know I wasn't first. At the 2nd lap, I tried to over-take my 3rd Brother with a smaller turn, which he wouldn't budge. I kept bumping onto him, and he got slower and slower, until I overtook him and didn't really cared. Maybe I did, as I went to the top-most point and waited for the others, my eldest brother was there too. But no one came, weird huh? My 3rd brother was nowhere to be seen. So we just went to finish our race. We came out of our GoKart, and 3rd Brother still wasn't in sight. After awhile, we saw him walking down the stairs with a worker of the Theme Park. So embarrasing! Where's the Gokart?! I was told that it was his Gokart that petrol was drained off. Phew! It wasn't becos' of my bumping. Haha!

We were quite bored of Gokart, becos' of the waiting time, and went to play some other rides. The haunted house! The first time going there was indeed really scary, but the second time was fun! Its saddening that they didn't employ workers to scare the guests.

We went back to the shelter, and played a few more times. We were really lucky, the WaterGun stall was almost full-house, but they needed one more person to play for a better prize. So my eldest brother went to play, as my 3rd cousin said that he was Army-trained. He was also one of a kind, took so long so decide to whether he should play or not, and kept the other players waiting. Worse still, after waiting so long, my brother won the prize away. What an ass! And it was another monkey. So cute!

We were all hungry, very hungry, and went out of the Theme Park. My eldest brother wanted to go Suntec for dining at one of the restaurant. We took 2 cabs there, but the restaurant wasn't to be found. My 2nd Brother rented a trolley for the huge gorilla which after awhile, I sat in it, and put the monkey over me. It was quite fun, being pushed around, without the need to walk.

After walking, or being pushed for quite long, we still ended up at Macdonalds©. And I learnt something new from my cousins. At holland, a meal cost around SGD$10, and it was the cheapest food there! Cool huh? Ordered many set-meals, and the fries were able to stack up to a hill. And when I ate, I realised that my gullet didn't hurt anymore! It was bugging me for the last 8 days! Quite a miracle, I should say. I even thought that I may die from it...

My 2nd cousin always felt nauseous, which I don't know why, and she almost threw up after eating. Phew! And after dining, they wanted to go for a movie. I was again, being pushed around, with many passers-by looking. Didn't really cared anyway. Liting also wanted to sit in the trolley, so she jumped on to the huge gorilla, which was on top of me! It didn't hurt tho', as the gorilla is big and soft.

My 2nd cousin even went to buy a sleeping bag, as she was afraid of getting cold in the movie, tho' I found it really really weird. Disturbia, was what we were planning to watch. Tho' I don't really like thriller, or horror movies, I still went for it. There weren't many movies showing too, as they had already watched the Simpsons, transformers...

After some time, we went in for seating at last, carried the huge gorilla, and left the trolley at some corner. A dollar was lost, but it wasn't mine anyway. Haha! It was quite empty in the cinema, so we were able to give the gorilla a seat!

I didn't really liked the movie, tho' its scary, quite, but the story-line wasn't good. The introductory part was too long, for almost an hour plus, and the climax only lasted for awhile. But it was quite a nice show to watch, with the change of plots here and there.

After the movie, we were all so tired, and started the long walk to the MRT station. It was really a long long walk. It was my 3rd time this month already, twice with Cher. I will treasure the times going out with her, it was quite nostalgic tho'. Even tho' it was just like a few weeks ago, I felt a lil' dajavu?

We managed to catch the last train, also managed to catch the last train back to Kovan, where they were staying now, at one of our aunt's house. I say I will blog every single happening that day, and I will. I was so thirsty by then, and when I saw a Macdonalds©, I rushed in and got a large Iced Lemon Tea. Refreshing! Haha. It soon disappeared into each an everyones' stomachs tho'.

After spending sometime at their house, we felt tired too, and went home by taxi. It was a fun day with these cousins of mine!

A Lonely Guy

2007-07-31T12:09:00.000+08:00

Everyone had a place to go.

They exclaimed, "We're going to the movies!".

At another side,
he interupted, "How about Pepper Lunch?".

I whispered to myself, "Have a nice day, GoodBye.".

And headed to only for one place, home.

Friends

2007-06-21T01:47:00.000+08:00

Firstly, thanks all for reading and tagging your opinions! I didn't know that so many people would read my blog. Guess that I should really start blogging regularly, special thanks to Ding. x)

My posts on Loners, guess I really got them wrong. Destiny's post on Loners, truly define what loners are. Definition from Dictionary.com: One who avoids the company of others.
Destiny: A loner is defined as someone who doesn't crave much contact with the world. Therefore, when you try to make contact with TRUE LONERS, they naturally ignore you. loners are loners. lonely people are lonely people. I agree with you, but still...
Maybe I should change my term, the loners i meant are people who wants to make friends, but are rejected due to some reasons or another. We should provide help for them, don't we. But what should we call them?

For more infomation, read this post by Destiny. http://freed0m-writer.blogspot.com/2007/05/party-of-one-by-anneli-rufus.html

And about understanding Christians, I understand them. I attend church service on occasions, preached by the sermons, and know baptism. But its not whether they believe in only one God, the unability to hold a joss-stick, instead, its about the respect for their late mother, who believes in her religion, Buddhism. Can't they just walk this last Buddhist journey with their mother, for their mother? That's all I can say, but still, give me more of your opinions.

Recently, or should I say quite long ago. Around 2 weeks, there was a lost contact with her. She did not reply my messages, everything was cut off. And I was depressed for the first few days. She suddenly changed. But as time past, I admit to reality and told myself that she don't want to be that 'good-friend' of mine anymore, and I just live life as normal. (It may also be my hectic schedule that make me forgot about her, its one reason and another.)But today, she suddenly messaged me, wanted to chat. I was surprise, and I called her. We chatted and I was even more surprised when she told me that she didn't realised it was that long, 2 weeks. At that time, I told myself, is my place in her heart so small that she won't even realised it, or is she just too busy? But at least we're back chatting and stuffs, and I am happy.

This taught me something...
If you have a friend now, who suddenly treats you coldly and stuff. Maybe they are just too busy, or simply don't want be friend you at the meantime. Just give them time, time to be alone. You may even want to forget them, but if they still treat you as a friend, they will find you again. I don't know if that's bad or what, but at least, you know that they still treat you as a friend when they look for you again, but you also will know that you can forget them, quite easily.

Once again, thanks all for the tags and comment!

I hate myself, once again.

2007-06-09T12:18:00.000+08:00

It was a very bad day, one of the worse day of my life. Outside you see me smile, but I am dying inside, without you.

But now I know one thing, everyone is making use of her innocence. Him, me, her friends, everyone. She's indeed blur and always don't know that she's doing the wrong thing. I'd just hate myself, even though I do not know it, but I completely used her innocence to get close to her, always lying to even myself.

She changed completely after reading my previous post. Can't be blamed. But its not only that she's changed, she's sad. Fuck myself, I deserve death. If I'd not blogged, everything would turn out fine now, just that I would always be her good-friend. Now she's got another trouble, and she lost another comforter. Its a lose-lose situation, and all because of me. I hate myself and I hate blogging.

I will always remain that good-friend of yours. I am sorry.

You could not see my sharp teeth,
You could not see my big and round eyes,
You could not see my large nose,
Without knowing,
I became your big bad Wolf.
But still, I could not eat you up.
And now everything just got so bad.
I would die, and you would moan for your Granny in my stomach,
All this may just be expressions,
But its real sorrows.
I don't know how to revert all of this,
But I will always be that good-friend of yours.
Now I realised I was making use of your innocence all-along,
I am sorry.

Fuckin' Hell

2007-06-08T00:29:00.000+08:00

Just for clarifications, I ain't close to my aunt, she's just my favourite aunt. Her attitude is always so much better than others.

Back to my life, how do I describe it? Two words, Fuckin' Hell. My aunt left the day after my post. But maybe its a blessing in disguise, she would suffer more on this Earthly Cruel land. Her brain was already severely damaged. What pissed me most was during the funeral. Sigh, I am getting to hate Christians, really.

My late Aunt has two children, both were almost able to provide for themselves, but they're Christians and my Aunt is a Buddhist. At least the funeral was arranged in a Buddhist way, but it didn't go quite well. Let's see, they wouldn't hold a joss-stick to pray to their own mother. And always disappear during prayers. It a custom for Buddhist during funerals to keep a joss-stick lighted, and no one in their family would do that. My dad who is the brother, had to do for them. Even during prayers, its only my brothers and some cousins of mine, it seems like we're the immediate family of my Aunt. Though Christians, they surely wouldn't wear bright PINK during funerals! Next, they were like so stingy? Everything was like kept small, so different from my Grandma's funeral. And everyone, the immediate family, disppeared at night. Maybe the son had stayed, but he wasn't around at many times. I hate talking about this man, but Christians are indeed getting too much. I am a Buddhist, but when I go for a Church Service, I would pray to Jesus and the Father. So why can't they just respect my God?

Actually, I look upon myself as a Half-Christians, but I an thinking to change my mind now. Baptised? So what Fuck? She's ya'all mother, not mine! Still, Aunt, Rest In Peace, forgive them for they can't differentiate Gods.

It quite weird at the last day of the funeral. Its only three days, Stingy huh? Everyone cried as the Monk did the last prayers, but I didn't. Not a tear, no sadness. I felt that my Aunt was already gone, she was in Heaven. That was just a body. Weird huh?

I missed the first day of my class chalet for my Aunt's funeral. But I quite regretted going there. Left out, I was so. Hmm, nothing much happened, nothing memorable. Went there, others went for biking, I stayed back with Waiping, Valerie and some others. Eat my lunch alone at some coffeeshop, ran some errands for them for the barbacue, barbacue-ed, and slept. Don't know why but maybe its just me. I even had to call her to cure my boreness, but sigh.

Its worse than rejection.
Being so close, yet so far.
Its a toture.
I hate being caught in the middle,
but my heart just can't let go of you.
Everytime you talked about him,
my heat aches.
But as long as you're happy,
I will be, happy and tortured.

Freakin' Bad Life

2007-06-03T03:40:00.000+08:00

Actually, I really feel like changing this blog, to really, a blog. A blog is not defined as a journal, which many youths misunderstood, but its a website to show your views on issues of nouns. But still, I don't wanna write a journal, typing would be better.

How's my life the past few months? Terrible. I flunked my Mid-Year Examinations totally, though I had high hopes on it. Humanities, my best subjects, killed me. Life's unfair.

Tho' I had somethings which went quite well, Eg.Com, but there were many which we not.

I missed my camp, and dearly missed her the past few days. But she kind of changed after the camp, that's what I feel. And gawd, I am starting to like her again. Or its not just only now? Maybe it was always deeply buried in my heart, only now to be dug out? I just can't get her off my mind. Maybe I am indeed, just a flirt.

Today was worse. My Aunt had a bad fall, and she's now in the ICU. She's my favourite Aunt! She would give us extra pocket money whenever she's around, and she's active! I would really miss her. It was just a fall. Life's fragile, life's unfair.

May not be continue any debates for the meantime, totally have no time. And thanks ya'all for tagging and staying around!

Two kind of Loners

2007-04-29T14:28:00.000+08:00

Okay, its about the Loners again! Ding, no, I am not making a big reaction, I am just treating this like a debate, so that we know more about Loners and stuffs.

Oh ya. I met ALOT of loners that really ignore other people's existence even though I tried to get along with them. Well, I'm not very patient, so if I really cant communicate with them, I give up.
Ding

So now we know that there are two kind of loners.
Ones who hate themselves for who they are but don't take the initiative to change;
And ones who want to be accepted by the crowd, but they are not because for a reason or two.

For those who don't hope for a change, we can't really do anything, can we? Maybe I was always wrong about the Asian boy's massacre. Maybe he belongs to this group, but we don't really know. To these loners, save yourselves or just self-destruct. Don't blame the fault on the 'rich', 'popular' and those 'clicks'.

But in any case, there are also other kind of loners, so that shows that we should do our and every own responsibilty to try and be-friend them, don't we. We, the 'popular' or the 'rich' as the Asian boy wrote in his death-essay, are partially at fault for the massacre.

I guess that I would have to change my blog to identifying Social Issues or Loner's blog already. But really, this social issues topic, there are much to talk about it. This loners thing may be getting a lil' boring for you, readers. So please suggest more topics, or I would have to and search.

Ding, you may like to use the comment tool, as tagboard is not very trustworthy. You're a good commentor, thanks! I need more people like you... :D

I Am @ Youth.SG - To Hell to all loners, or to Heaven?

2007-04-26T22:15:00.000+08:00

To hell to all loners, human bonding dynamics are important. Dun
forget, unity is strength. What tears a nation down is not external forces but
internal conflicts.
Ding, a guy who commented on my previous post.

Although human bonding dynamics, as what you stated, is indeed very important, but... It isn't the loners fault to not bond with his/her environment. It is always that the loner who is left out, uncared and unbothered. Unity is strength, what tears a nation down is not external forces but internal conflicts, but who is really at fault? People look down on these loners, just like in America, the whites look down on the blacks, and its always happening all around the world. Who is at fault? The whites, of course. I may offend anyone when I write this but its the facts that you can't deny! That's the reason which explains the concurrent conflicts in America.

People need to change. Lets say, if the whites in America could accept the blacks in their society, all problems would be solved! So Ding, if you, or us, accept these loners, try to know and be-friend with them, the recent massacre might be prevented. The problem lies with us, not THEM.

I, myself, don't feel good with loners, but what if we just try and accept them? Trying is better than not trying. At least they will not feel unaccepted. 90% of depression cases in youths are caused by social issues, 50% of these depressionist have thoughts about suicide.

So why not we just try and accept them? :D

By the way, thanks Ding for the great comment, you really helped me understand what I was really trying to state. Much thanks, Szehoe.

I Am @ Youth.SG - Loner strikes, Nation weeps.

2007-04-22T17:46:00.001+08:00

Teens smoking, getting into fights, joining gangs, what's the real problem actually? No one in the right mind would get into a fight, there would sure to be a cause or something that literally attacts them. Social circles of teens this day are the roots of the problems. Youngsters this days are more isolated, in this society, who can be not? With the stress from parents, stress from community/environment, its unevitable for them to be not.

So called the "good friends" of them(youngsters), get them into gangs, persuade them to smoke, how could they reject? Being in that social circle, they're proud of it, and it dangers their friendship with their "good friends" when they reject. And they feel proud doing what they are told or persuaded. And they look down on others, others whom are not in their circle. That's how the terrifying loneliness starts.

BLACKSBURG, Virginia - The deadliest school shooting in US history was carried
out by a 23-year-old "loner" from South Korea who was studying for an English
major, university and police officials said Tuesday.
-ChannelNewAsia, 17 April 2007

A recent report on the newspaper. Its amazing, no, terrifiying to know what isolation or lonliness can make a perfectly normal person go nuts.

People with the right mind, right attitude, or are just not accepted by the community would be laughed at by these teens. They would be make fun of, and life just don't seemed right. They want to be accepted, but maybe its because of their looks, or even character that don't allow them to. They are not the problem, not the cause, its their environment which is bad, wrong. They are perfectly okay!

What is this earth becoming man, people who doesn't want to be influenced are looked down, isolated and become depressed. There's a real need to change the attitudes of youngsters, but it can't seem possible. I am a teen too, and I know I am very rebellious, so how can WE really change?

My Fifteen Birthday

2007-04-19T20:20:00.000+08:00

The clock struck mid-night and I was chatting with my Wife(so-called), haha. She was the first one to wish me a happy birthday. It was just the start of the happiest day of my life.

Siewhui, my ever so caring ex-band senior (as I was kicked from band), was the second one. I feel bad man, she and Lynn always remembered my birthday and I always forget their's. I could still remember my fourteen birthday which they celebrated with me. Thanks ladies!

It was really a huge jump, so-called, from last year. Guess that I was really a loner then. Thanks for all the Smses guys! Especially Stella Mei, for calling me just after twelve to wish me a happy birthday. It really helps even without a present. Good luck for your surgery! I really treasure those messages, I saved them! Want to keep them as good memories. Last year I only had a few, or like really few. Could be counted with one hand! Now you know why I treasure them that much.

Met Pamela at Admiralty to go school together. Found out that Ann got a nickname too, and keep disturbing/making fun of her. Haha. But Pamela wanted to be special, she said she will be the last person to wish me, which is at the end of the day, 11:59pm. She really did!

I reached school and received my first present. It was a piece of chocolate cake from Lynn and Siewhui, just like last year! Really love them so much... Though it melted as the weather was too hot. I still couldn't bear to eat them and its now in the fridge. But I have tasted and its delicious! Yummy. They don't stop surprising me...

Then got my second present during Chapel. From Xitong, Tinting and Stacy. Thanks for the lollipops. I couldn't bear to give them away, even with Stephen's pester. Haha.

My goldfish, Yihui! At last admitted that I was her owner in her letter with a present. Thanks girl, or should I say fish. She's just so cute!.. And she was like so nuts during Biology when taking pictures. Shalln't say, too obscene. :)

I was waiting for Christopher to come to school, he was like so friggin' late? I wasn't really waiting for him, I was waiting for my present which was shared among Yanyi, him and Crystal. Haha, he even threatened me the night before that he may forget to bring the present! I.P jacket! Now then I feel that its quite nice. Thanks guys! I still haven't paid my share for Crystal's present. :(

Was so touched by Liangzhu and Sherri. Though I don't really know them, as so don't they, they still rushed out a birthday card for me on knowing that it was my brithday. It is so nice for them, and they said they would give me a present! Haha, I feel so bad as Sherri birthday had already past!

Actually birthdays aren't really about presents, its about the sincerity I guess. An example is Stella and her call. Was so touched. Or maybe its just me. Haha. Its also about the birthday hugs! Lets see, the first person I hugged was Cherie! And then Chercher, Yuhyan, and Yihui! Oops, all girls! Thanks ladies. Haha, then I was like joking with Yuhyan about the hug feeling. :) Can't believe that I hugged my goldfishy!

No one really celebrated with me after school. Lynn and Siewhui told me next time, but still, thanks ladies for always making my birthday so wonderful. Went for lunch with Pamela and Xinyi but still had much fun.

Went home and got out of home again with family, sort of. Mother was working though and my third brother didn't want to go. Went to see cars as my Dad wanted to get a new car and got my cake at Causeway when going home. Wee! I don't know why but I just need a cake and a birthday song to feel that I am a year older. Still got it in the end.

Called Pamela at 11:58pm as I was afraid that she might miss the "auspicious" hour. Haha, I want my birthday wishes. She was also about to call me but I called faster. Haha, and there was my last birthday wish. Yay!

What's my birthday wish this year?
Just want her to get well and hope a miracle will happen.
Just want a good and happy year!
Amen. :)

Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging Competition

2007-04-17T22:34:00.000+08:00

It has been a week since my great experience at City Havest. Wow, since last thursday. You may not feel it, but i have change so much man. Thanks for the great comment for my last post. Ain't blogging much these days, no time and too bored for it. Sigh, can't get much records of my life anymore. Directly contradicting myself in my old archives to promote blogging.

Life's getting better. Cos a good chatting mate, but feel bad and sad for her and much of myself. It seemed to be worse as we get closer. I don't even trust myself. Guess that I have to mark a distance.

Today was Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging Competition for choirs. Rather excited the night before, but my parents destroyed my sleep. As usual, I always forgets to bring something when there's something big going on. Aww, had my mother to bring my black pants for me. Crap, and crapped. And we reached there, -IHATEBLOGGING- and our heart beats even faster as the clock ticks. The warm-ups in the warm-up room for choirs to prepare, were quite good, or should I say very good. Confident, we performed. And I felt we did quite well, compared to the other choirs, as we went to watch the choirs after us performed.

It ended for the morning and we headed back for school. Didn't have to go for class so we kind of slacked in the choir room, and went for Sakae Sushi lunch at City Hall. It was a birthday treat for Cindy. MWAHAHS! And I still owe so many guys presents. Sorry... I am so broke now!

After that we went back to get our results, was quite pissed at some people but who cares. Our efforts were not paid off. We got a freaking bronze. Damn! And there's so much drama when we were going home. We will accept it!

Those from choir,
though our efforts were not paid off,
but lest we know that we are a gold-attitute choir,
so do not be sad,
but happy for ourselves,
and don't give a damn for what others think.

It has been long long long.

2007-04-09T20:06:00.000+08:00

Aww, what a dead blog. Many spammers were invited to. Crapped-assed people.

Not long ago, there was an exchange for choirs to showcase our song pieces among some 7 schools. And I met my long lost friend! ELYSIA!! She's still the same old her, as cute.:) but what she said got be thinking, were we very close last time?xD

Last saturday, it was easter, kinda. City Havest Church had a service to celebrate easter, went with some of my choir pals. It was rocking hot there man!... It was an Unforgettable experience. The drama showcased by them was so realistic, and entertaining too. Trust more in God.

Kind of stressed up this few days, sigh. God is unfair, but what can we, mortals do?

I hate myself

2007-03-01T21:56:00.000+08:00

I so hate myself. Everywhere I go, anywhere I go, I create trouble. Is it because of my character, my personality; Or is God against me. I just don't get it.

When I was Secondary One, even in the early months of the year, I already had problems with my Band Seniors, that's why I left.
In the same year, I had big problems with my form-teacher and led to Mr Wee which my mother had to come to school. My mother was very supporting though, and always spoke to Mr Wee with sarcasm, like what he always do. And this resulted me with a 3 month break from school.
That 3 month holiday wasn't good either, no friends, no one for me. I was totally isolated at home, didn't even step out of my house for that holiday! Trouble with friends.
That's just one year! And my trouble-doings make a list.

This year wasn't that good either. Last monday, I came 'late' for school, had excuse letter but the OM didn't take it. Kinda quarelled with him. Again! I created trouble.
After doing his detention, I rushed to choir without even having lunch. I went in, Ms Yee chased me out. Waited 2 hours for choir to end, so that I could talk to her. What did I get? "I don't want to see you, go away." My character killed her.

Why Is It Always Me?! I Just HATE Myself So Much... But my Character say no sorry. I hate myself.

Meeting the partner

2007-03-01T21:35:00.000+08:00

It was fun! Meeting my brother and his friend. Such a friendly guy, we could talk even if that we do not know each other in the first place. Every thing we talked about then was design template for the site. Can't really set our minds on one though. He was rather good in flash too. A bit wasted is that he didn't know much of ActionScript. Aww.. Never Mind~ All we need is flash!xD

Okay, now about Mrs Wong and her house. We all met at Yishun, but it was actually novena and changed. I reached there rather early, the hair salon spoiled my plans. They were closed, I couldn't cut my hair and I didn't want to go back home. So I have so much time which I had in place for cutting my hair! Went almost an hour earlier than what was planned. Took my own sweet time eating anyway. Blahblah, nothing better to do, I went to Mini Toons to get a present which I owed Pamela for quite long already. $20! One of the most expensive present I ever spent you know! Haha, I am stingy!xD

After sometime, everyone met at Yishun Mrt and we went starbucks. I didn't really know what was the plan but who bothers~ Didn't get a drink though, and the boys decided to play at the nearby LAN shop as there was sometime. Thrashing hell~ People at there were NOOBS at counter-strike! Ahhh, though I deprove BADLY, I still got top frag. Haha! And after that the girls were rush us out of there.

Travel to Ang Mo Kio, things happened but we still got to Mrs Wong house. Condominium man! Richie rich. Teacher do earn quite some income. Kinda enjoyed myself there. But sickness got me. Argh, kept having often headaches. What's with me. There's sushi and everything, but nothing appeals me!xD Its okay, and the boys, all of them, went to play Basketball. Sicked me, didn't followed, but I don't quite like sports anyway. The left-overs played cards! Mrs Wong is a PRO man. Without a single cent, she won $4! I lost a dollar of my coin and stopped, cos' I had no coins left. Haha.

Everyone came back and Mrs Wong gave us AngBaos! Woo, $4. So that means she had spent over $100 for this? Including the food etc. Thanks Mrs Wong! And we all went home. Pamela pei-ed me to cut my hair though, but the other shop was closed too, at AMK hub. Slackers! It was a fun day though, but I could not go school the next day because of my hair. =)

Happy Lunar New Year

2007-02-24T14:18:00.000+08:00

It has been years, since I posted something. Who's waiting?! No one I guess. Its okay, I will still blog about my life.

Not long ago, actually quite sometime ago, the secondary ones came for audition! So cute man... Small lil' ones.. Was I like them when I was secondary one too? It was fun playing games with them, though they didn't quite participated at first. And I always had this phobia, human phobia. I tend to get anxious or something when many people are looking at me, like ghost! But I realised, I ain't now! It was fun, until the "Guess that song" game steps in. Bloody Nicholas. No one knew what he put in for us. Nvm~ =)
And by the way, there were only two boys who actually able to get into choir. Oh my gosh, what's happening?! We are already short of boys, I guess. Bass only had one Secondary two, Alwyn. Who still had another cca.

Last Wednesday, the sectional leaders were invited to Mrs Wong house. Maybe not all. Some of the Secondary three SLs were not called or something. Ain't my fault though. I am a boy. Sherman always do things proper, he had sent a few smses to ask us to go. Why would I not go?xD And it doesn't end here! Gotta go out now and meet my brother. If ya waiting for my next post, don't mind tag on my tagboard, I'll be happier to know that someone reads my post! :)

Sicked, and tired.

2007-01-31T18:52:00.000+08:00

These few days wasn't that bad either. Found back a friend, a long-lost friend... But being too friendly ain't really good huh.. She does not like it =( I shall become cold then. People are just so weird, people like ones who are cold and always not talking, and feel those who talks too much a disturbance. Just know that people who are hyper-active have their sorrows too, just that they don't show.

Yesterday, was just a normal day. With many class-tests which were lame. English test, was just to test us for hardworking-ness. That's what Miss Tang said. It was lucky that it wasn't counted for Term 1.

PE was stupid. The teacher-in-charge, Mr Chew, isn't it to be a teacher! He's nut, old and outdated. Okay, I am sick, and what he said? Even if we are sick, we still can do some exercise so we should bring our PE t-shirt. FUCK him! And he planned to go for a jog around our school for today's lesson. One thing he does not have, a teacher's qualities. He ran, and ran. Left all the other students behind. Some even ran back to school and he just ran and ran like it was his own race. Those who didn't bring their PE kit and was waiting for them in school, were like why are they so fast, and not sweating? And after quite long, Mr Chew came back at last. But only half of the students are back, and he didn't even cared. Man, I really feel like complaining about this teacher... But who really cares?

After PE, nothing really much happened. It was all boring lesson. Only for that biology test, which I thought it was thursday. How worse could it be, not studying for a test... Argh! And just before that, I ate correction liquid. YES, I ate it. I was like chewing on a tube of correction liquid, and I forgot that there was already a hole through it. Eew!! It sucks.. Ahh, and I got stomachache... Biology test was a total trashed-up. I mis-thought a plant-cell for an animal's. There goes my marks. Grrr, I thought I could improve much this year, I really worked hard for most of my test, even revised after I came home from school.

Skipped school today, and got more bored... Can't blame me, got nothing to do, lil' friends to go out with. =(

Oh man, now then I remember. Its pamela's Birthday tommorow. HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance, doubt I can get the present in time...

Nothing really much to blog these few days.. Life is getting more and more boring, without her. But I guess I have much forgotten about her. YES!!

Forgetten....Yet not!

2007-01-23T21:21:00.000+08:00

Early in the morning.. Yeah, my Dad fetched me to the MRT station with my brother's bike. A rather cool phantom, looks just like a Harley! Kinda messed up my hair, but that's not really the point. Blahblah~ And just after assembly, got fucked up. Valerie, aka sister, said this. "Aiyo, he really like her alot. You cannot snatch one... Give up lah."

Indeed, forgotten yet not. FUCK IT MAN! I had almost and already forgotten her, and you just got the hell out of me. You think I don't like her? I have had enough, you're lucky that I was still half-awake or you are just so dead.

Damn, I thought I had totally forgotten about her, and she brought it up. And my whole day's mind went away.. You killed my day VALERIE.

Okay, enough about Valerie. Now about 'her'. She was afraid that I am hating her to the core... Firstly, if I really did affect her life that much, OHMYGOSH, how is she going live on... Not sacarstic, but true, she is pretty, a guy's dream date. Many guys would want her, and if she rejects them like that, and scared f they're hurt too much, wouldn't she be wasting so much of her time? I don't know, but I feel I am just another boy who is fond of her, why spent so much thought on me..

If you think I hate you, seriously, won't ever. Read this...

Hating an angel is a sin, falling in love with an angel is a greater sin. You're that angel of my life. Think no evil, ever.

Get it? In no point of my life would I ever hate you...If you think that I am cold, or avioding you, YESIAM. See, I am just trying to forget you, forget those messages, forget about you and me. So give me sometime. Friends, only possible after I feel that you're stranger to me. Time heals all, but how long, I won't know.

Today, went home with Junhao and Noeleen. During the train ride, Junhao asked me why should I continue hating people(As we were talking about L) when I, myself, thinks that I have no friends. I guess this is an old, old question I always ask myself. I can, and had experienced living on a life without friends, so why not? Still, my blog will always be know as ISOLATION-D(present), not ISOLATIONED(past).

Forgotten!

2007-01-21T15:50:00.000+08:00

Yeah, made my decision. Holding on wasn't a very good choice after all~ It'll still take time I guess.

Yesterday was total boredom. Nothing to do much on my computer, friends literally ran away, sigh. For the first time, I couldn't reakky find anyone to message with. Am I such a bad person, such a bad friend? In 2 weeks, more than 3 person told me that their sms wanna 'bao' already. Haiz, dounch' know true or not.

Some people would wonder why I wouldn't message them when I'ma bored.. Was chatting with ChiaGek on msn when I really regonized myself. It's girlfriend or nothing.. Being betrayed to many times, I guess I just can't really trust the term 'friends'. Sigh, that's really me, I think.

Short, better than long.

2007-01-19T18:40:00.000+08:00

After more than three days.. Oh, now I get it. She didn't dared to come our class because of me, as what Crystal said. Man, I was such foolish fool. Haiz, dwell not on the past, I guess.

Kinda didn't felt like going school on thursdays cos' of her, so really, didn't went. It was still quite bad staying at home still. So I guess I should really give up, short pain is better than long ones huh? But its just so difficult. for the first time I cried for a relationship. Wow-ed.

Guess that I owe my friends an apology for being so cold last few days. Sorry, guys~ and girls. But still, I kinda feel myself as a loner.. Its difficult to find someone in school who I can really talk to. And for your infomation, I HATE sympathy. So don't come running to me only after you read this post. Crapped-assed.

School was sleepy these few days.. Couldn't catch much sleep at night. The night before Wednesday, I went to bed at 10 but only slept at 3am. What's with me man, other girls didn't disrupt my life that much before.. It a was rejection to early, but better I guess so that I won't illusionize myself in what's ain't reality. But still it takes time to forget someone that deeply buried.

So what's up in choir today. Kinda boring as usual. Normal. Nothing unique, nothing special 'bout it. But at last we, Basses could get our notes right. Aww, why do dance have to have their practice there... =(

It was a good day, at first

2007-01-16T16:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, school was normal. But i was missing her so much, just too much. She wouldn't reply my sms too, maybe not wouldn't. It seems like she's busy, and don't feel like smsing me, from the texts she replied. Didn't know what was going on, I thought that she was sad or something..

I was a fool, a big fool. It turns out that it was with me. Read the last paragraph…

Choir was bad, Ms Yee got so fed up at Bass, we couldn’t get our notes right. It was indeed difficult to pitch with the times changing of notes, especially with L beside me. He’s kind of tone-deaf, always gets his notes wrong. But I can’t really blame him, I am not the best either.

But it was the Tenors whom got the hell out of Ms Yee. She was already fed up with them also not getting their notes right, and someone repeated her words like a parrot and pissed her off. She immediately stopped the practice, if I were her, I would have kill everyone! Choir ended, an hour earlier. But the secondary fours still had to be revoiced by Ms Yee so I stayed back and waited for Pamela to go home together.

After that the leaders still had a meeting so I had to wait outside… I knew what they were discuss about anyway, Sectional Leader. I want to be one, eagerly. It’s just my character, to always lead and not to follow. It ain’t my fault.

Their meeting ended, and I’ve got my position. Yay! Sherman was the one who helped me most, surprised. I didn’t know that he’d changed. I thought I wouldn’t be able to be one with L always against me. Thanks guys who’ve helped me become.

I’d find it kind of unfair to others in Bass… Haiz~

Went for dinner with Pamela… And she told me about her ex not long ago. Never heard of such fucker before. Such an ass, grrrr…
Pamela: Don’t need to miss such a fucker, its not worth a thought.

I am writing this now, but my happiness and joy is gone just after reading her blog five minutes ago. She was still with her ex... For the first time, I feel like crying...

I was a fool, a big fool. I've got the whole picture, I guess. She was not meant for me...

Damn the Day

2007-01-10T21:47:00.000+08:00

Crapped up. I thought my life would totally changed for the better. It ain't. I guess adventure camp posts will just stop at its first. Ain't no time, ain't no feeling.

So what's up with my day. She's getting irritated with my much loads of smses. Haiz, I'd just want to get closer to her. Never mind, I'll shall give her some peace. Who asked me to be a loner. People's bills are shooting high and can't sms, shit'em. I shouldn't have took such a high-sms plan, it turns out that I can't really use them up. I really do feel like a loner at times, and sometimes I even hate myself why.
At least my new class is better than last year's. Really hated 'em. Still it doesn't content me that much, and some people still get on my nerves, thinking that their popular and could control people. I'd shall not say who, you should know who you are.

School is getting boring, classes are getting sleepy, things are getting more difficult but I don't feel the stress. Everyday I get home, I'd just play. Damn the game, really addictive, I'd just can't stop.

She's mad at me now I guess, but I swear I didn't spread the 'news'. I first thought that her friend knew it, not trying to push the blame. Really sorry. Will you forgive me please?

Its late now, I have not done my A mathematics homework,I have not touch any. And I ain't feeling good about choir anymore. I have this character, always like to win, and now..I'd just don't feel like going for choir. Who I hated before had really shown their true colors. The L and S, fuck 'em. Stop fucking me by my back, I'd really hate it.

Fuck my life.

Adventure Camp

2007-01-07T14:14:00.000+08:00

Time flies. Its 2 years sinced my first camp in Secondary school life, Sec One orientation camp. It was fun, not better. The day before, I got caught for my hair length, not by my own form-teacher, but by an idiot who wanted to poked his nose into everything. May hell fall on him always, but he still could not do his job, I had my mother's help. What can they do to me?

Missed the whole day of classes anyway, in wait to cut my hair in which I didn't in the end. Rather excited too, for the next day, the Secondary Three adventure camp. I didn't received mail to my house for the Kit list and Consent form, so I got to know of it just recently. That day I slept rather late, doing my last minute stuffs and packing my Bagpack for the camp. I took quite a idiotic-looking bag, but who cares?
Slept only a few hours and had to wake up and go school. We had to assemble at 6:30am, I had to wake up quite early as my friends should know, I stay rather far. Tired and sleepy, I was still very enthusiastic.

At the start, I didn't really talked much to my classmates, didn't really know them, and I guess they don't really do. Felt so much like a loner.
And it goes on....

I had one so-called friend already there, Lewis, but he had a character like me, friendly but easily angry. Not very good to go with I guess. It was quite a long ride to the island, the campsite at Pulau Ubin. It was my first time there! I thought I may even get sea-sick in the bump-boat ride to the small island, phew.
We reach the island, got into a big room where the trainers were introduced to us. Something I really hate about trainers, they are so effing Hot Tempered. Who caresm they are still trainers. We were taught how to pitch tents, but I felt rather 'fake' as it was those manufactured tents, you don't need hardwork to pitch them, not like those of uniform groups. Its better and easier for us anyway.

Five men tent, the name of it says it all. Five people to one tent. Then we had to divide ourselves and group ourselves into a tent. Of course, people have their own click, I felt such loner. Stephen was kind of Pang-seh'ed too, after he switched class with his own click. My team had Stephen, Liu Ran, Brennan and Wai Kuong. Kinda' and always fed up with Wai Kuong, but he didn't had any other teams to go and we were lacking of people. Brennan is a good person to make friends with, no wonder he's always bullied.

And it does not end here...

My holidays, my Woes.

2007-01-01T14:30:00.000+08:00

Oh crap. Its the new year, 1st January. Feeling sick, sick of school, sick of my life. Another 300+ days to holidays in counting. I just love holidays, yet at times I hate 'em. Feeling just like a loner sometimes. I just went for my yearly holiday agaim, to the same old place Penang. Its always the same every year, but every year seems new.
Not many things happened this month without me blogging. Into another new industry instead of the "untalented" blogskins. It sucks anyway. People there don't have real talents.
Yesterday, I sent out 50+ new year messages, guess what, only 3 replied. Haiz~ The first to wish me a good year was unexpectedly, my good lil' sister, janice. I'd just felt that something had happened to her, she seemed...sad.
Okay, a few days ago, I had pretty much fun too. I was stuck outside the door after choir practice, which was quite fun as there were revoice by Ms Yee. My brother called me(after me 30mins of waiting) and told me to go yishun and meet him to play dota. Once played and stuck on for 8hours. Oh my, its 3am. And Cherlyn was still smsing me, I am still confused with my thoughts. I had really much fun there, and got home about 4.I can't believe that I was quite good in that game.
I am getting bored of blogging, it seems a nonsensical verb instead of something that helps in our life. Getting bored of life. Thats my new year resolution I guess.

SingOut.

2006-12-01T12:34:00.000+08:00

I just hate it, after every memoriable events, I will have this heartach feeling for the next few days. Argh!!.. I had a weird fream even last night, very weird.. I think it was to contradict the bus trip back to school as it was quite bored. In my dreams, we were singing as people alighted, which I don't know why!
SingOut concert wasn't as "high" as expected. I even felt Razzmatazz was more fun and happier. Have to wait another year..=D I think I should blog now about the whole event.
I reached school at 1, which was said to be the time the bus will leave. Yet it hadn't arrived. Never mind, my stomach was also killing me as I didn't had breakfast. Unluckily, the chicken rice stall only had chicken and no rice to sell. LOL! And not long later, we boarded the bus and nothing really happened in there, cos' I slept the whole journey..(kind of)
We reached there, did our warm-ups with Miss Yee and HIHS. And oh ya, HIHS got their new choir tee, still at least they had use brushes, at least they knew something about photoshop. Wahahas. Then it was the rehersals, as usual, we already did this for like the third time and more than 6th for tact-runs! Don't want blog about it.. But indeed, watch the other reherse was fun, especially the mosquito song by St. Gabriel's! No Offence..
Then it was almost time, we had to get changed and eat our dinner and await the BIGTIME. Waahahaha. I couldn't really eat in my blazer, it was burning!.. But at least I felt we looked better compared to the St. Gabriel's.
Kinda regret not taking more pictures too, with my "friends". I always wonder how many are there? Blahblah..
It was time, 7pm++ as some VIPs were late. We walked into the hall, and up the stage. I looked down and like OHMYGAWD!.. They are so visible, so near.. Scary sia! So after the first song with combine choirs singing the french song, I took off my spectacles, one reason was image, the other so as to not see the audience! Clever me. We sang not bad I should say, for Gloria Deo, I couldn't even hear the Tenors.
The song ended, and we walked off stage. It was almost an end-show for the boys as we don't need to sing after that already. I felt that we were quite lucky to, to be able to sing one straight through. Wahahas, we went to change back to your jeans and tee and waited..and waited..we had alot time to slack. And I guess the others were jealous too, as I had gliter on my hair just like the HIHS!.. Thanks Darren aka Shit-Man. And we continue waiting..It was our time!.. We prepared ourselves ourside, which I always so unlucky and get scolded by senoirs. Grah.. As usual, we rushed in and tried to catch up with the dancing, I was able to, and also viewed the audience once through. Who'd surprise me, MR NG!!.. My Geography teacher, he had his girlfriend with him too, or is he already married? And MR TAN, MY MATHS TEACHER!! His family was here too!! Quite happy to see them too.. I don't really know how to describe the end of the concert, I felt it ended too quickly. Didn't really feel happy at all. Then we cheered and cheered for the teachers and others. I wonder how many times I'll appear in the pictures taken by the audience.. After the concert, the whole thing, they we all taking pictures, but I don't know who should I really take with.. So I didn't took many, the most is three. Loner me huh?
Then I went home with PAM and Cherie..with thay Gao Shou and I keep forgeting his name. When we were at the MRT station, I realised I left my shoe in the bus. FUCK!! That was my brother's. Crapped my day up, I called Mrs Wong, and she was driving. I wonder when will she ever call the Bus-Driver, until the shoe is gone? I will kill her.
That was my SingOUT Concert, not very very fun huh?

My 130th post

2006-11-28T19:36:00.000+08:00

It has been years, indeed years, since I hath blogged. So what about it. So busy lately, but its seems to me that I am wasting my time. Why not try finding some work? No one wants to hire. A week ago, I've got this kinda ulcer on my lower lips. Such ulcer was it, I couldn't eat. It became so swollen, just like a "sasusage". How I was so mad at myself why didn't I seen the doctor instead of hearing what parents say. Eat don't know what "cooling" medicine. It wasn't even an ulcer, an infection. Grah. Luckily, no need cut open, or I would've died. Okay, I went out with Phoebe same timeline when I was having my "ulcer". When to find work at KFC and they said they would call me. It seems like there's none. Hate it. This week was horrendous for me. But I didn't know why I felt quite happy with my life a few days ago. And when you are sad, you feel the week's saddening. Crapped'up. Choir's tee is out already. That's was my happiness I guess. 50+ people wearing your design. Isn't it great? Though I felt it wasn't really nice. Nothing much to say about my week, going to St. Gabriel for Singout rehersals and such. Today was quite a bad day too, but who really cares. I always thought my life's had changed to better, but yet I feels not. When I looked into my msn list, who really cares?

BGR; it has gotten on to me.

2006-10-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

Okay. After many post, sometime ago about not going into Boy, Girl relationship.. I think I shall cut if off. It has gotten on to me. *sigh*

But truly, she's a great girl. Its the age difference which I am kinda' scared of. The public eye should not be underestimated.

Firstly, thanks Gladys. You gave me that oppotunity which I wouldn't dare to take. I still don't really know myself, its like, I am always open, but sometimes just, shy.

It was great getting her home. But it seems like she's a "hard nut to crack". Always so quiet, and always looking at strangers. And she love reading. Oh man! So we got to the library, to spend sometime. And met with some "problems" pretty girls get. She was getting her book, I was sleeping(yeah?) and a malay(wtf?) went up to her and asked for contacts. She should have called me. My bad, I was sleeping. That guy even asked her to help get a book for his girlfriend(imaginary?). Such old methods.*sigh*

Got her home. Yet not her doorstep. She didn't want me and my Dad would kill me. Dad, get out of my life. Its the holidays. He would fucking asked me why am I so late. *Grrr* But I thought I shalln't proceed any futher as its just a day.

God is so with me. *laughter* Her meeting with her cousin for a movie was cancelled. And I replaced her cousin. (Yay!) It was just so great. Though we kinda missed the first 15 minutes of the movie, Death Note, it was fun. (Esp with her) Shalln't say much 'bout that. Walking around orchard was great. Just, everything is great with her. Just to add on, Brennan came along as she was also meeting her sister and cousin which is Brennan. And he told her that he was like so extra. Just happy that she wasn't really like (angry?) when Brennan said that he wouldn't want to interrupt a date. Or she just didn't want to hurt me. *sigh*

Still, it was indeed a great start for the holiday.

Dated; Last Thursday I sent her home. And Friday, Death Note.

Many days into a post. Length.

2006-10-25T19:51:00.000+08:00

Greats. Guess that this will be a long one. Starting from last friday.

Damn (cool?), met Abby at woodlands MRT wanted to go school together. I was kinda late, ZhenNi was even worse. Haiz, had to switch to Plan C.(why not B?) Usually, my plan B is go straight home which my mother even encouraged me to, for not to get DC and waste my (precious?)time in school. But Abby wanted me to go school, so she said go LATE. Not late as in 0730-0745. Its going to school durin recess time. Man, first thing i thought, my record of being punctual will be broken. Who cares anyway, but is it better? Really, it turned out better. No run, no DC, even I forgot to bring tie, no punishment.

To our unexpectations, we even met Xueli and KaiHui at the coffeeshop behind school. So its like 6 students walking around, and wouldn't be caught by police? Lucky I guess.

Time past kinda fast, we talked, ate, and talked. After we had our meal, we went to the nearby HDB flats and, talked. And played to of course with Xueli running around trying to catch me when I made fun of her(obviously she failed). And guess what(what?) we woke a street-sleeping man sleeping nearby. I spotted him and we move to another block. Who knows that he came and started scolding us. Wow, this time ZhenNi is pro(really) at scolding back. That man, totally had no choice and just to say in chinese "You good!" Then he also said that he's not scared if we are from any gang as he is in one. "2579" Thats the gang number. Rock on!

School was not as so boring as usual, Talent Trek 06. Cool, although I thought that they played but didn't sing well. No offence. Vocalists weren't really that good. What surprise me was Yanyi. Man, I didn't know she could sing. Way to go, girl. That was my Friday. Last friday.

Yesterday, Hari Raya Adifi(sorry, don't know how to spell), was such a great day. Yet not so good. There was a jamming session hosted by CHC members at grassroots which was a change of plans. Met Abby at woodlands and I was late again. I feel so bad. And we got there. Everyone kinda met at YCK mrt and we walked there. Most of us went to the NAKED FISH SHOPPE to have our lunch which was a big mistake for me. Arh, the food is expensive and (eww!). Wonder how did they survive. Did not let it affect me. The jamming session, played by the band of Edwin(my drum teacher!), Zech(my guitar teacher!) and Arthur(my guitar and maybe drum teacher!). Cool eh? All my teachers. Wahahas. They totally rocked the house.

What saddens me. ZhengQuan, totally made use of this, to advertise his so called cell-group befrienders. Argh, totally fucked up. And guess what, Abby and the others all followed. If I were Zech and Edwin or maybe Arthur, I will be like so disappointed when you already said you want to come but left when the performance just started. Did we perform badly?(as what Edwin asked me) Haiz~

The rest was fun. And I just love the worship song though I don't know the title. Gotta learn how to play it on drums which have many solo parts. Greats, for my future. XD And another thing which made me sad. Arh, I was helping to carry the Bass of Edwin drums and which I slipped. Damn! I think Edwin damn angry, although he don't looks like. Sorry! And thanks, Arthur for the dinner!

Today was boring, total boredness. No teacher was in class, except Mr Lim which usually don't come and he did today. Which interrupted our card game. Arh, nothing to do so I slept. Congrats to all who skipped school for you've made a great choice. And I feel sad for CK, had his handphone confiscated. It's also the last day of school! Why are they such fuckers. Can't believe we had cleared the cupboard too!

Weirdest Dream(again?)

2006-10-23T18:00:00.000+08:00

Is it the lack of time ; lack of interest ; or lack or feelings that made me blog less nowadays. Guess its just all into one.

Few days ago, last Satuday's night. I had a weirdest dream (again?) ever. It was not a nightmare, none scares me. Very full of events, and I can remember it so clearly after 3 days.

I was travelling on a ship, kinda. Then we(who?) were eaten by a huge whale which my mind told me that it was the legendary BEMUDA triangle. After trying(and able to) send messages back to our loved ones, we admitted our fates and prepared for battle. Weird huh? And for the fact that my mind felt it was normal for me fighting.

We found our self in a dungeon and walked aimlessly searching for a clue. And an angel(like in all games) appeared and briefed us on our mission.(and my mind felt totally normal/not weird)

It was totally like what of a game, FlyFF. So three-dimension like. We had to cleared the dungeon filled with mobs and each section have its own elements we had to conquer. We looked like Power-Rangers! With swords(cool?) and few guns.
If I am correct, I died in the dungeon and respawn back at town.(just like FlyFF) I even called my brother, who was still inside(fighting?) and wanted to buy some weapons for him. And I went back it by using a machine which swings me off into the sky and somehow, I got there.

The dream had a weird ending. We were outside one of the section gates of the dungeon and of course the gates open. But we didn't fight but retreated. And the mobs rushed out but they couldn't attack us as it was the red-zone for them. They could only attack when we were in there.

Its funny how weird a dream can be. But its just pieces of thoughts in our minds fixed together. That's my definition.

A Suicidal Attempt

2006-10-18T14:17:00.000+08:00

I love this title just so much.

I still cannot take it, can't take the marks I got for my examinations. I, Szehoe, used to be an A* mathematics and science student, scoring into the top5 chart during primary school. Now, I am one of the lousiest at it. If I met my old friends, they would be like so shocked. I still can't take it how I did for my maths paper. For the first time, I failed.

History was no better. Taking it as one of my favourite subjects, I can't even get a distinction. Studying so much, its the same.

Kind of angry at GOD, as he once said, study your best and leave the rest to GOD. My brother too, said til' as if I didn't study. Why must he interfere with my life. My Dad was even better. He walked into my room when I was playing my phone and said "I thought you were studying" And I was like "WHAT?" My examnations were long over and I doubt he even cared and know.

Upon receiving my worst marks at the same day, I was totally stressed out. Literature, which I had confidence in, was no better. I lost out to many people I didn't expected to. When I reach my home corridor, I looked down and told myself "Why not" Just like what John the toilet said. I couldn't take it anymore.

Yet I didn't. Why? "Thou will not die as of a Roman Fool" And for all the people who cared about me.

Thanks to those who comforted me when I was at the lowest point of my life. You know who you are. :D

I LOVE CHC!~

2006-10-15T22:28:00.000+08:00

Take a good look at the title. Why? Mostly when you attend church service, its mostly about preaching and stuffs -I think- and nothing really fun. Its totally different at Expo Hall 8. Its so high, rawking. And I love Rev Kong. He is like a motivation guru. Great guy.

But I guess Abby wasn't really herself that day, which is yesterday. It isn't her church and guess that she felt weird. If I were her, I would too. Kinda sad for her, youths nowadays like to hurt themselves when they are sad. Kind of stupid though, instead of hurting yourself, why not do it on the person you hate? *Joking* Just don't do anything to hurt yourself as your close ones will be hurt too, kays?

Things I don't really like about church services. I don't know if they're acting or what, they'll get so hardcore and like trying to jump as high as they can when singing. Sorry if I have offended some of you(s). During the service, I'd experienced something weird, but I don't really know what it is. Just want to stay bit out of religion, anyone would in my state.

Yet truly, it was very fun. And one thing I really like Christian about, their friendlyness. They can communicate with new persons so well and I felt so...How should I state it... Not lonely with them. During dinner after the service, it was so fun. I always had phobia of chatting as I am a topic-less person but I could keep chatting and chatting with people I just met. It was such a great day, only to be destroyed by my Dad when I got home. He totally fucked me up and say why I came back so late. Would he even care?

I always like to counsel people, as though my life is great. But I want to say, my life is worse than almost everyone but I am not affected. Why? Its easy, leave your life-disrupters alone and don't let them change your life. Just an advice.

Getting my history and other examination marks back tommorow. *Cross fingers* Worried huh.

And by the way, don't mind check out my new layout "Untitled" using the template switch function!

State: Family(buddhist) Friends(Christian)

Examinations Over-ed.

2006-10-12T11:50:00.000+08:00

Okay, it has been years since I blogged. Delighted that there are people who reads them. Thanks guys!

Examnation is tough. Tough for not mostly the papers, the stress. In a totally quiet hall with so many teachers as on-lookers. I feel weird as the table beside mine was empty. Miss my mummy(Amy), I wonder how is she doing now after she quitted school.

Can't really talk much about exam' papers. Some are difficult, some are so easy. Like Chinese, if I hadn't study 2Intergrity notes, I would have failed. Maybe its always about teachers.

The fun after examinations was fun. What am I saying? Crapped' my english is getting from bad to worst. Yesterday, went out with Abigail, Joey and Shanet(correct,wrong?). And I still don't know why and how I spent $20+ without even ice-skating. Take me as stingy, but thats me. Maybe stingy is not the right word as I can spent it on my closers. Miser, yeah. But to me, its not spenting on unnessaries.

We met at Joey's house, which is in the same estate as my previous house. But I went to the wrong block. From C-B. So walked all the way to C and he literally welcomed me with his dog. I personally like dogs but NOT when they bark. So I ran. =D but of course came back.

Then when they were eating lunch, I realised that they were so anti about one guy. Oh man. But I long ago already hated this person. And we took MRT to Jurong East and waited and waited. Until Shanet came. One Hour!

Wanted to Ice-skate but didn't. There were like thousands in a small lil' ring. Met many of my "classmates" there which I don't consider them as. Go out also didn't tell me. If ya' all are reading this, I don't give a damn. So Joey and I went to enjoy ourselves in the arcade. Poor girls. And it was my first time playing this very awesome game. House Of Dead 4. Total recommendation.

In fact, we literally did nothing. Then we took a train to Habour Front, Vivo. Thinking of window shopping, but it was almost EMPTY there. Shops were all under construction. Especially when we were hungry in search of food. No food. Wanted to watch a show cinematically, but we came at the wrong time after spending much time at Toys R' Us. Most of the shows already started. Nothin' in our minds, we walked around. There was this play ground which was like to fun. Good friendship bond-ager. Play alot on the sort of Merry-Go-Round. Spent many hours there. And when I was spinning them, I felt a bad intuition. Indeed, Abby was flunked out and she hurt herself. Felt so bad man.

So after many hours of playing, we decided to go home as it was already nine. And took a train home. Joey wanted us to drop off at Admiralty so follow suit. I always remembered that the buses there could take Abby and me back to woodlands. But we ended up taking the wrong bus. And now I remember, 962 was the bus my brother was always taking to school. Crapped. And I could feel that Abby was already so pissed off. Not about this only, but other thoughts in her mind also affected her. Wonder what she was pondering about which made her so sad and frustrated. Haiz~ Teenages nowadays, affected by thoughts which shouldn't cross their minds. Love is just something that we, of this age totally stranger to.

Abby: When its time to let go, you should and not cling on to it or you will have a greater fall. =D

Crapped.

2006-10-01T21:17:00.000+08:00

The gap between each of my posts are getting larger. Moods are needed to blog, not ideas. People always say that they got nothing to blog about, you got the whole life to blog about.

I kind of HATED last wednesday's chapel. Its so threatening. They said that if we don't become a christian, we will be killed by SIN and burn in hell. I feel so bad for my own religion, yet I still believe in most of Christian believes. Influenced.

English examination on Friday was easy and difficult. Composition topic was quite difficult as though I wrote quite alot, I was totally not happy with it. I felt that I did so bad. But Paper 2 was so easy. I think I am gonna do quite good.

Saturday, my parents quarrelled. I hate my father just so much. He... Just don't want to talk about it. The cause of all troubles. Fucked my life up.

Then today, my mother wanted to make the family bondage better with a steamboat dinner. He didn't eat. Trying to show "weifeng". I feel so much anger.

These few days, kept smsing Yanyi. She took me as company and I seemed to be the one accompanying her. Yet I was the one who needed company. Nothing much really happened.

EOY study mode.

2006-09-26T22:33:00.000+08:00

Greats. End-of-year examinations are near. Didn't blog the past few days. Didn't touch the computer. Can't believe it, I could isolate myself from the computer! Sunday, went to study with JiaCai and Kelvin. It was a funtime, although I waited for VERY long when they were having fun playing basketball when I was at Junction8 waiting for them to pick the call.

Met a new person today. Victor. I just feel that God's creativity is getting worse. Hahs, people just seemed same from another. Victor reminded me of my old friend, YongMing. Don't know why.

We didn't really studied alot. I wasn't into the mood. Slacking all the way. The fun-time was after our studies. We went making video clips. Lame ones. The teleporter machine and even a fighting scene. They uploaded it to youtube man! Gonna make a bleach video after exams.

Got a new phone that day too! M1 got a good offer, a very good one. Immediately called my mother and she came down. Other stalls didn't let me upgrade my plan though but I think Junction8 personel made a mistake and we bought it. 2 of the same phones. My brother also wanted one. So happy. It was a great phone.

Monday - nothing to say about it.

Tuesday - School was boring as usual. Guitar lessons were kind of boring too. The worship was too long, but it was good for me I guess. 1hr of it. Hahs. But learnt 2 songs with simple chords today. Tong Hua and a Christian Song. I don't know why I seemed to start believing in Christianity, yet I felt that I am betraying my ancestors. Haiz~ But most of the pretty girls are Christians. :D

Was studying at night for the past 2 days. At KFC with Kelvin. Yesterday, Esaint came along. Felt that he was kind of INSANE. He stay at Yio Chu Kang and come all the way Marsiling. I guess he would have reached home late.

Got back my history small test today. I did so badly, carelessness. Hate myself for it. Wasted 5 marks for nothing. It will surely affect my grades at the EOY.

To those spammers at my tagboard. Get a life, grow up. The javascript codes can be obtain from www.dynamicdrive.com and NOT from Anne. Codings are mine, fully. Thanks for the understanding.

City Havest Talentime 2006

2006-09-24T07:51:00.000+08:00

Am I a christian? No. Yet I go to these events and I ask myself, why not? It was grea meeting new people. They are so friendly. Now for the whole story.

Met Abigail and Issac at Woodlands which we waited twenty minutes for Esaint. Then off we go and took bus there. It was a very bad choice. Man, I just felt so uncomfortable in the bus. The air-conditioner is weak and the Sun is hot. Worse still, I feel nauseaous. Crap. Sleeping was the best thing I could do.

At last, after an hour plus, reached Habour Front. Hansel wasn't there though. So we had to wait. But I was just so hungry man, wanted to grap a bite. Then Issac kept pissing me off. Just hate people who punch my stomach. Fortunately, I didn't whack him up and don't say I can. Its easy. Got a chicken wing and Hansel came. After meeting some other church friends, we hopped on the bus. Shutter-bus.

Hansel treated us our entry-ticket. Hurray! And we went in to Sentosa. Actually we were already on Sentosa island, just that we can't proceed anymore. Ticketing. And we walked a short distance until we reached a stagnant boat. Not a boat, bigger yet not a cruise, smaller. Its was air-conditioned in it. Damn, should have wore my jeans. I told it would be under the Sun.

After sometime, it started at last. The singers, don't want to say much bout' them. Basically, the difference were large. Good singers were far apart from the not-so-good singers. It was fun though, they made it funny. The last item was considered the best in everyones mind. Beat-boxing. Man, they are so cool. I want to learn beat-boxing! I guess that I want to learn many things, guitar, break-dance, and beat-boxing. It ended with of course, they as the winner of the group category and Kelvin, from Hansel's cell got the solo. And we went home, not literally, just stepped out of there.

Outside the boat, photo-taking session. I wondered why Abby don't like to take photos. She got the looks anyway, why not? Could force some photo out of here anyway. I was like kinda' full then but still hungry. -Thanks to Hansel's french fries- And we walked to the nearby Burger King. Yet didn't eat. I can't eat there too. I don't like the environment. Then I met a new person there. Kim, very talkable. And talk and talk. :D And we took a bus back to Habour Front.

Abby seemed out in this post. Yet then I was always with her. I feel easy to talk to her. Especially that she is an English speaker. Its not so easy for me to use Chinese. Seemed foreign. At Habour Front shopping mall's Yoshinoya, there we ate. Yet Abby wanted to go to the ladies so I followed. That damn Esaint came along. Argh~ :D Came out of toilet and she brought us else where. She said that she was finding a friend. Her ex-boyfriend. I wondered why girls are always so chi1-qing2. If it were me, I would very less contact ex-es. The past is the past, why rack it up. Though I still got contact min. :D

After quite long we went back and people had already almost eaten finish. And we started out meals. Planned to go Junhao's birthday dinner yet I still ate. Bad choice. And waved goodbye with our new friends :D we went home. By the MRT of course. It was much better!

Now to talk about Abby. She walks with style, dress with style. Have looks. One of the best choices of boys. Just have a word to describe her. Classy. Especially that she is English fluent. Aren't I right Abigail? At last could take a pair photo with her. Hurray!

Junhao's house was quite fun too. But I felt bad not giving a present. I haven't bought so many friend's presents. Wondered when can I have the money. Argh. Sorry friends. They were like hogging to something to play. The computer was 02jam. I became a noob. Argh. Keat Onn is madness. No doubt he played alot. Waste of time. :D

Dinner was great. His mother is a great cook. Jiacai told us that the butter prawns should be eaten with its shell. Worse still, with its tail and head. Omg. I tried, of course, without the head and tail. It still didn't feel good as I can feel scales all around. Eek! But I couldn't eat much. Damn, shouldn't have ate at Yoshinoya. The food is even better here. Then Esaint and I were like making lame movies of teleporting. Cool, I just learnt how to. And crapped, he used my phone to make an R(A) movie. Haha, you will know if you are our friend. Kelvin was like trying to play the piano. His best song, Buddhist A-Mi-Ta-Ba. Lame~

My mother was pestering to go home so I went. Felt bad though as when I went off, they came along. It was late anyway. Nine. There were like so many change of plans. I had to follow my brother back to army and see him off which I always wonder why must I go. Such waste of time. And its a weekly proceedier. Was told to wait at Causeway point yet changed and told me to go straight home. Argh. So took a bus back with Kelvin and he alighted at my stop saying that he got the time. Such a good friend. Accompany me for that 2minutes of waiting.

My father pissed me off! When we reach the hawker centre near the ferry station. He told me, if you had eaten you shouldn't have come. Crap! Wasted my time. And when I reached home it was already so late. I guess this is my greatest post ever. Greats.

Test-ful Day.

2006-09-23T07:57:00.000+08:00

*About the last few days. Nothing really happened. Skipped school on Thursday. But I was already so tired out by the Basketball match the day before.

Tests, tests and tests. What kids at our age worry about. I beg to no differ. Yesterday, two big tests came onto me. One which I didn't even know about was Literature.

So how should I rate the test, which Mr White thinks its not a test but just a small lil' one? Quite difficult and lest the amount of time. As I didn't hand in my collage assignment, I had to do extra in the same amount of time. Kelvin was way worst. He had to do 3 assignments in an hour. But with the help of each other, I completed. He didn't though but was able to take the rest of the paper home and one for teacher. It was an open-book test to its quite easy actually. Only if this was in the EOY examinations.

The hours past with nothing to do in lessons. English lesson was still same old thing. I feel that Mr Chin is totally not fit to be an English teacher. He don't even know how to teach and keep teaching from the textbook.He really need to see how Mrs Chia and the other teach. Crapped up. Best of all, the homework he gave and the tests he gave was not found in the sections of the examination paper. Can't he just use his mind to think? I hope I can change class, but its too late now.

I skipped assembly, for NEmation meeting. Just feel that I don't really like the team but just can't think of what they did to make me feel that way. Fun drawing things and bell rings. End of school, but still an history test. Ate lunch and off I go to my class.

It came to the worst. I don't even know where's the class. Mr Lai said that its gonna' be a class on the 2nd level. When I got there, it was so chaotic. Sec2s were running here and there trying to get a place in classes. There were like only 5 open classes but more than 6 classes of students. So we waited and at last could get in.
The class was so chaotic~ Could cheat anytime. Yet Kelvin, who was running with me here and there- didn't. Of course, I did my own thing and didn't cheat. It was quite an easy test as we sort of knew the questions already, 15minutes before our test started.

Abigail did the test finish in like 25minutes? Hahs. And she waited for me. So happy. But I still slowly did my test. Want high marks for it. And went home with Kelvin and Abby and ZhenNi.

Dinner was fun time to. Meeting up with ChoonKeat, Kelvin and Kris then later KahLiang. Kept talking. I love friends man, or do they treat me as one? Who cares~

I made this new layout just like yesterday. Though it took many days for me to complete coz' of some obstuction in using the laptop. Don't really like it when my brother comes home from army.

My first Basketball match.

2006-09-20T21:27:00.000+08:00

Today, PE was so slack.

But after school, as Kelvin's team did not have enough players so he called me. But man, I am a total stranger to basketball! Its not that I am a coward, I just hate the critisism by spectators. Frankly, I can't play basketball.

It was fun though. I could "gai" some people and get quite many rebounds. I realised at last that basketball is fun! =D Gonna be my pastime already.

This is one of my shortest post ever, but isn't it better?

The greatness of a Day.

2006-09-19T22:04:00.000+08:00

I thought today would be a very bad day. It turned out the opposite. Such a great day man. School was normal, although I did badly for maths. But it was my fault as I didn't study. English test was so-so. But the whole day, my mind was filled with guitar lessons after school. =D Such excitement.

After school, ate lunch and went for guitar lessons. I didn't know it was kind of a Youth group but it wasn't so bad afterall. They were high when praying. But I felt kinda weird. I am a buddhist, yet my believes are of Christians. Caught in the middle. So I mostly call myself a Buddtian. :D

Breaking the ice was so fun. Christians, as usual, are very open and itroduced themselves quickly. Then they spilt. Some went for study, some for Bball and me, guitar. I didn't have a guitar with me, so I have no guitar. Duh. But I could still learn by using other people guitars. Ming chuen's brought one. It was fun man. All the singing and learning of chords.

This is sort of my first guitar lesson in my whole life yet the guitar is almost part of my life. My brother's are all guitarists. So I am of course want to be one too. It was such a fun time. Fun time ends quick so in no time, its ending. Went home with Abigail and other. She very talkative man. Love her character. :D Sort of walked her home anyway. Nahs, not really. Quite far though.

Then I came home, was so excited to know if I had SOTD. Indeed, I got it. Woopies, my 5th. Want more!~ Greedy me, but that's human nature, isn't it?

Disappeared the past days.

2006-09-18T21:18:00.000+08:00

Wonder who will miss my posts when I am gone. Hahs. Not really gone, just lazy. And dad is just not happy with me using the computer. Wtf?

Can't be bothered to write about last few days. So its today. Test-ful day. Only knew that there was science test when I reached school in the morning. Luckily my dad forced me to study yesterday. A blessing in disguise huh?

There were so many free periods today. Four in total. So two hours of nothing. Revised until I can't anymore. Confident.

Shimin was so violent as always. Threw the dusty duster. Awwman. And i threw back which dusted her worse than mine. Hahaha. Kinda guilty though. Tried every ways to get rid of it. But of course, none work.

Science test was a no-kick. Easy, although answers were not word-for-word. There was suppose to be an english test. But didn't in the end. If not my mind would explode. Hahs. But there was still a test I don't remember. Chinese! Oh my gosh. Luckily its did not test words. Brina and I were corperative partners. Copied like as though there were no teachers. The teachers also don't care too. Did quite well.

Practical test was next. Oh my god. How can you take a test when you don't even know what they'll be testing? Did so badly. Although I got my final answers right. Lost many marks anyway. Almost impossible to pass. Wish me good luck!

After a day of stress. I guess its quite good for School Service. Resting and many thoughts in mind. Splitting the hours up is a great idea too. Went home after that.

Just had dinner with Kelvin. A lamer. Hahs.

Skipped school to find something worse.

2006-09-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

It was such an interesting day. Damn. Skipped school to find more boredom coming my way. Didn't really skipped school as I woke up when school was about to end. 1pm. Omg.

Did nothing. Stared at the computer and did nothing. No mood to skin, but I still did. Wanted to find some friends to go out with, but Kelvin was busy. It seems like I don't really have many friends. Happy still, that I have some.

Wanted to go out for lunch. Called Kelvin when he was still having history lesson. And he picked up the call. Kind of nuts is he. But he couldn't make it as he had to visit someone in the hospital.

Skipped lunch to. The rain was my obstruction. It was to heavy. But I was so hungry so ate tuna bread. Yummy. What is not delicious when you have nothing to compete it?

There, I am making the best out of today. Nothing happened as it can be summaried. Nothing. But I am pissed of by the people of blogskins. Why can't it be a better world. Getting so tired of it.

Bad to worst.

2006-09-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

I wonder how much longer can i still get a hold of myself.

Days are worst, much worst. Yesterday, Mr Steven Wee tried to make troubles for me. He made me do 2 hours of DC, I oblinged. But if he made me do more, I will fight back. Just lucky that he didn't, for my mother would have to make a trip down. People says that I am a coward behind my mother, then why are they stupid to fight back face to face. Idiots.
Now then i feel Mr Teo ain't that bad after all. He just wants a little more as to other teachers. Still, Mr Wang is the best.

My key disappeared though. Told Wenyi that it was nothing, but brought troubles to me. Argh.

Didn't do DC today, for literature remedial. But Mr Johari got on my nerves. He didn't want to return my NRIC. What did he want it for? Crapped. He was afraid I go outside school and create trouble. Damn, destroyed my plans for the day.

Before I went home, went to get my laptop. $40 bucks for just reformatting it. Kind of cheated though. But lest they helped me installed the recovery partition into the hard drive. Went to get back my hp too. And felt more cheated. She said the problem in the phone was the Camera and had to pay $30 if changed. But isn't there a gaurrentee? Asked my mother to settle with her. Its so tired when I got home, but still ate dinner with Kelvin before I went home.

Today isn't a very good day either. PE was boring, can't do a thing for I had no PE uniform. Other lessons are the same. Slept during Chapel. And nothing is interesting to talk about.

Was down the whole day as DC was in my mind. Can't go home and use the computer which I couldn't touch for a week.

There were like fights today. But didn't still. Its kinda stupid though. Fighting for small reasons. Made their friends unhappy, Jiani.

After school, still had DC so ate lunch in school. Joel was pissed off by Mr Teo's speech during Character First. He had some problems with F&N teacher, so why not be a good friend and listen? I don't really hold grudges anyway. I forgets them.

I was like talking to Joel when i said that she was not bad, as in quite pretty. But I could not believe me when she came and talked to me with randoms. But I don't feel good jio-ing her. My friends hate her. Troubled. But she indeed made my day, when I was so down.

Went to do DC with a happy heart but I could only do an hour as Mr Jumari had to go at four. Anna and Danker were at there too. Chats and helped Anna with her DnT. Made me so tired.

After DC, i went finding the NEmation team to join in their meeting. My intuition was right, they were at the library. My idea was not accepted though, but i wonder, i could just fit the last scene into my story and it would be just right! Its too late now though.

Went home after that, to meet something worst.

My lost key kept me outside the house for 2 long hours when my brother is sleeping happily inside. He is such a deep sleeper. Argh! I was so sweaty, hot and had a stomach pain. How bad can it be?

NEmation. Also boredom.

2006-09-10T14:30:00.000+08:00

Greats. Boredom these few days. Can't go Kelvin's house. Sound kind of despo, but I ain't gay.

Gave the laptop to the computer shop for repairs. Had a very hard time going there. Why on earth did they move? Felt kind of cheated as my mother signed up as a member and they kinda ran away. I was told to take 903 from interchange and 2 bus stops. Its the 2nd bus-stop or after 2 bus-stops? And that made me got lost. Took so long to get there after asking many people. Not many, 2. Nothing really happened there, just waiting to no avial and had to come back on Monday to get it.

Yesterday's NEmation training course was fun, kind of. Again, had a hard time getting there. I heard wrongly from Charles that to meet them at Dohby Ghaut, but it came out to be Dover. I live in Marsiling and Dover its just 8 stops but I travelled 25 stops in the end. Kind of went round Singapore.

Training was quite interest, on how to create a good animated story. But its not into animation still. Quite boring though. And I don't even know the story because of some reasons why. But after i read the story, ideas generated. But I don't want to say it out, don't want to be to OUT.

Lunch was great. As I didn't have KFC coupons with me, I could not get the 2pc chicken meal. Haiz, but the counter person gave it to me on a condition. Not to tell others of course. Filled my stomach. But I think I am really growing fat. Isn't that a good thing? But I want to be fat, healthily.

Went home after than. Nothing happened. What a great holiday huh?

Back... Not.

2006-09-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

So I am back. Not really. Using my dad's company computer. Speed is normal, but its pentium 3. Can't do alot with it, or can do nothing with it.

Nothing really happened this few days. I just kept going Kelvin house to past time, to cure my bore. Kind of afraid of his mother though, kept nagging at his little brother. Jason, very alike to Kelvin's character. Its identical, only that Kelvin kept bullying him. BAD brother. Did nothing really in his house. Maybe play abit of PS2 and skinned some.

A few days back, there was choir chalet. Not really fun there though. Didn't bring alot money too. But i felt that my class organization of chalets is better. Better food and not so much problems. They had many problems. Don't want to say it out. We, Pam, Yusong, KaiEn and many others had problems going home. We missed the last shutter bus. Walked all the way out of NSRCC which is such a long distance and had to take taxi. Wasn't that bad after all.

Went to play games at the playground too, yesterday. With so many basketballers i don't even know. Felt abit extra there, but they made it not. I like this type of people, don't isolate strangers. It was fun, really fun.

So nothing really much to blog. Just that i wonder what will come the next few days.. Got Skin of the Day which means something bad is coming my way. Reason? I always believe in Equivalent Exchange. That's that.

Just Great. Scarsm intended.

2006-09-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

What great days. Sacarsm intended. Days were just so bad. First thing, computer was infected, crashed. And the day just declines worse. Now, using my PSP to blog. Weird? Just, happy birthday to Cherie. Wonder who will miss my posts.

Teacher's Day, with no teachers.

2006-08-31T20:00:00.000+08:00

Nothing much really happened yesterday. So didn't blogged about it. But i wanted, didn't had the time though. Went to school, had many free periods so i slept. As i was so sleepy and had late nights the past few days. Had oral after school. I felt that i did quite well though. Confident. And went lunch with kelvin and proceeded home. Such a robotic life. Hahs.

Today, didn't go school for teacher's day celebration. It was a waste of time anyway. Skipped school together with Kelvin and planned to eat lunch together. He visited his school, so i followed. Man, should have gone back to Yishun Pri. Hahs. It was kinda boring at Kelvin's school. Nothing really much to do. Luckily i had my PSP to accompany me. It has also been years sinced i heard Janice voice. Hahs, no change though, she ain't a boy. LOL.

Went to Kelvin's house as planned and Ck also came. There, nothing much happened. Kelvin with his "GREAT" mind learnt photoshop CS. Very difficult for me to teach too. Hah. And Ck was at there kept playing my PSP.
Kelvin became so bored, and went CSing. Haiz, i want to play too! So we took turns. Boring though.

Nothing much really happened there, only i realised i failed to get my SOTD. Kinda sad though as i had confidence in my recent skin. Went for early dinner as a weight-losing plan for kelvin. But i am contradicting myself, as i want to gain weight myself.

Went home, but Dad was at home. Couldn't use the computer for long as usual. Haiz, he is asking me to off it now. Man, why he is always like that. Although i use long, but its the HOLS!

Just want to say sorry, Janice. Can't go back with you to YPS, but i am so keen to meet you!

Effed up life, yet not so.

2006-08-29T20:56:00.000+08:00

Okay. Yesterday and today. Man, i can't remember almost a single thing about yesterday. Crap. My memory is getting worst.

Okay about today. Was so tired. Woke up late. And my dad, i wonder why other people can just have such caring dad. My father, now he don't wants to even fetch me to causeway point which is the MRT station and instead to Marsiling. Plain lazyness. Last time, he would fetch my brothers to school, now what about me? Don't even care. Eff the hell out of my life, god damnit. And if its late, he would say that he will be caught in the jam so i have to take bus. If its early, he would say that i have time to take bus so don't fetch. Excuses all the way.

School was normal today. Nothing really happened. Kind of effed up by Mr Chin when he minus my oral marks when i talked in class. A really idiotic and stupid teacher. I always thought he was kind-hearted and caring. It turned out the opposite.

Its really such a materialistic world. Now, almost everyday when i go school, people would treat me better, and also asked for my PSP. Haiz.

The excursion after school was fun, fun-times are mostly in the bus and we could chat alot. But come to think of it, nothing really happened as what Kelvin said. It was kind of boring there too, learning about the World War II. But its cool, knowing thats the exact spot where the surrender was signed.

My hp got confiscated by Mrs Lai for half an hour. Man, shes kind of bad. I only wanted to make her laugh. So i went home with Kelvin before even getting my hp back. Kelvin don't want to stay back. And worse if its 30mins. Went dinner with him. And there, i could see that he was indeed excited about skinning. Hahs.

Went home and started teaching him from the basics. He is really a fast learner. I hate to teach slow people. But he could know what and where i was talking about. Except that he could not code. Helped him quite alot, and now his skin is warmly welcomed.

Early in the day today, during PW. I saw xiaxue's blog and i wondered why did it attracted so many people. Does her looks also attract people? Wondered why. Kinda admired her for what she is earning from her blog now. Wonder when i could be like her.

It would be a nice day when people treat you well. Felicia wanted and started to treat me better for the last few days. Not saying that she DO NOT treat me well last time, but better. It makes you happy when someone does that. It makes you feel welcomed.

This is about today and some of yesterday's bits i guess.

SOTD, fear of Future.

2006-08-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

It has been like quite some days again sinced i blogged. And i totally forgot what happened the day before. Maybe will blog it if i remember.

I still could remember yesterday, kind of. Was so bored. Had to go school actually, but i thought i don't need to as told by NICOLAS. Damn i needed to. But i also totally forgotten about my chinese oral. Wonder what will Mr Soon say on monday. *fears the worst*

I was so bored. Almost nothing to do. Went lunch with my brother, ate at Marsiling. But the day was so lighten up. Why is the sun so active these few days. Guess that there would be showers next week. *predictions*

Nothing to do, surf for pictures. No inspiration. Until Kelvin Tan gave me a job. To make a bleach skin for him and he sent me a picture. Got inspiration immediately but i was still watch bleach espisode 93 then. Man, 94 will be such an exciting one. Kariya and Byakuya. Took quite fast to complete the skin. Simple and complicated. Very pleased with it, but i don't know about kelvin.

Man, he took great pains to get the blog up. He don't even know a single about html. Argh. Nvm, what's friend for anyway. But i just wonder, is he really my friend?

Went to ate with my brother who just booked out of army for 3 days. When i called him to ask where is, i called the wrong number. And i asked, Gor, where you now. And the opposite party suddenly shouted "HUH?!" In a very funny tone! The worse thing was the voice was so alike. So i aplogised and he said "oh, okay." Suddenly change. Hahs.

Fetched my brother from MRT. Then my dad asked him why he didn't called, he said that he had too much things to do. I first though it was very tough, then he said got pool, got darts, got lan, got Xbox and PS2. Omg, chalet arh. Cos he sergeant already.

That was my night spent. Then midnight, my mom hp rang. It was from the alarm system of her office. She didn't arm the alarm so had to go all the way back to her office, during midnight. Man, i had to follow. Nvm, brought my PSP along. But surprisingly, the taxi driver was so talkative and kept talking. Very friendly. And he stay just few blocks away. It was quite fun.

Reached home very late, about 2 and slept.

The next day, today. Woke up early, compared to the time i slept. 9. Submitted Kelvin's skin and was hoping no one pulls it down. Indeed, no one did. And i got my third Skin of the Day. Great news, but i feared the worst. Will tomorrow be another bad day like before? Hope not. But it was a good day today.

Equivalent Exchange, my believes.

Good day, bad day.

2006-08-25T17:28:00.000+08:00

What a great day was it, the day before. Came home, realised the skin i rushed out got SOTD. Nahs, i knew it even before i came home. Biying was the first one to congratulate me. =D thanks. But it seems that it wasn't really welcomed by other skinners. I could feel that they didn't like it. Got kind of pissed of by Anne's comments, but who cares.

My fate was sealed. My believes were truth. The next day, was bad, so bad. Equivalent exchange i guess. if you get something good, there would be something bad waiting for you. School hours were normal, nothing really happened. Only when school almost ended, i flared. Everyday, there's end of day prayer as usual. But i had some homework to rush out so i just continued writing. But valerie, as a christian, snatched my pen away and didn't want to return. Wtf, i am not a christian so why should i pray. I got so angry, wow, guess what came out of my mouth. But i had enough of her, for so many months. Can't say what came out of my mouth, may relate to a racial riot.

When i came home, Anne starts to piss me off. During a mass convo, she purposely -thats what i felt- asked if i hated her for the 4.5stars she given me. Of course, i did what i normally do. But her character was pissing me totally off.

Then Stella told me to join a conference call with Shimin. That's when i heard that Valerie would actually blog about the incident. Incurred my warth, but who cares anyway. Just let her be. It was fun chatting with them though.

I submitted my new skin and i realised that when i offended Anne, LEK, no, only the L (lionheart) starts to hate me. And everone else too. They said i was cocky about my SOTD and other sorts. When did i shown my cocky-ness? Everyone changed their attitude already.

But today wasn't such a bad day. Woke up quite early, compared to the time i slept yesterday. Used the computer but had nothing really to do. Surf for images. Smsed with the sad Dawn. I always wonder, can a relationship affect a person so much. Can it even change the person's character, as i didn't really been into one before. That's why i always say, don't get into a relationship. Its all puppy love, unless you want to be a puppy then.

Nothing really happened today. So bored, yet can't go out, with empty pockets. Changed my blog layout totally. Its damn cool. To me of course. And got a job from kelvin to make his skin which i did it quite fast. He totally don't know a single thing about html codes. Argh.

People in blogskins are getting more and more despicible. Wrong spelling i guess. They used artist names to flame people who had used the artist arts on their skin. Total shown their cowardice. And i already know who is doing it, don't want to say it out though. Everything started since the pincel3d incident i guess.

That was my day i guess. Maybe not, that is. The day's not ending yet. Its only 5:45.

Tired-ness.

2006-08-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

Man, have been taking late night sleeps these few days. School hours are becoming more and more tiring. And i seemed to have black eyes~ Scared. I an vain, who's not.
It's again a normal, robotic day. Everything's normal. Mr Teo was bad. Truly, i didn't know i had to pass the file up by friday. Had to rush by today night, still, got school service. It's not really school service, he just want servants, maids, to help him clean the DnT labs. I wonder why all DnT teachers are the same. They are just so insane.
Got back literature test today. First, i was unhappy about my results. But i changed my way to mind and thought how bad i could be. Happy guy now. 15/25, not very bad eh?
Three periods consequtively for DnT and english were killing. Total killing. Copied homework as usual for english though. Zong Qin is such a good person.
Kind of rushed home by Xueli and others. Kaihui had his 2X exp for maplestory. Its a lame/stupid game for me, although i once played before. Reached home early, 4pm. And had to pick my brother from army at 5:30. Rushed a skin out. Nahs, didn't really rush. I don't even know i was going until my dad told me so.
Slept in the car, tired, for these days. So tired. That very tired. Ate dinner, sumpcious dinner. And went to white sands as my brother wanted to go to the library for some books. Kinda nuts to me though. And he went back to his camp and we went home.
Learnt somethings from him. Army, its not really 2 years. The first year is tough, real tough. But the 2nd year, you command. You slack. That's all.

I didn't, and flared.

2006-08-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

Okay, its sunday. My parents are nuts, no, not my parents. My dad. He wants to take us out for a picnic. So whats makes a picnic. FOOD~. And we go so little, just enough to fill the stomach, and what kinda of food? Chicken rice, satay, Hokkien Mee. Yeah right. Total stupidity. He can't take words, he just takes it too hardly. Kinda psycho for me. Just a screw it and he gets so effing angry.
It wasn't really a picnic, just riding the bike and smsing, smsing of course, friends~. Biking was lame, rode from one side of East Coast Park to another. Then my brothers and i joked about being a distraction on the pathway. Like the real car traffic, you can't have neon lights as its such a distraction. Same applied to the park. Wear bikini?! Hahs, so AA.
Riding the bike spent most of the time. After an hour's ride, i took a rest. A forced one. As there was another hour of cycling, my dad wanted to cycle and took my bike. Why not the other, my brother's bike. Its always the same. Heng, got sms partner, if not i would be total boreness.
There were crossfire, the real one going on. Laser guns. So cool, wanted to play, but guess that i didn't have the money. So sat by and watch how some of them died. Kinda fun though when some got shot from where they don't even know.
It was a tiring day, although i did nothing. Reached home at about 9 when i used the computer from 10. Can't believe it, i could make a skin in just 30mins. Hahs, but got rate down immediately. Don't really care already. I was so tired. Just want to sleep. Gwen hasn't been well these few days too. Quarrels with parents. So, most of our problems is by our parents huh?
Today, almost late for school. But didn't of course. It was boring as usual. Mrs Lai lesson was also fun. Hahs, she brought the japanese teachers to our class. It was so weird, we were learning about the japanese occupation and with japanese in our class. Don't think they really know what we are learning anyway.
But today, i couldn't curb my anger, especially to someone i have been for so long. Wenyi, she always gets on my nerves, but i could endure. This time i had enough. I was really really so mad then. Heng, not so bad like last time. She also said sorry already so i just let it be.
Mr Soon also went overboard this time. Wanted to show his prowess to the Japs students in our class. Haiz~ Had to study in the parade square. Luckily principal didn't came out.
That was my school hours today. Choir practice was still in wait for me. Already so tired. Slept in most of the class. Still got practice. Still went though, but i had to rush my homework before choir practice and after. Not rushed, but rushingly copied. Kinda bad though but i don't really care. I'd just needa know the formulae.
Soccer was tedious, and went joined the meeting among seniors of the farewell party in waiting for cherie to go home with her.
I came home quite late as the meeting last long. And my brother said the computer crash. As if. He changed from hang, to crash. Omg. Computer genius. Hahs.
Still, homework~. Have not done a single of DnT. And its Mr Teo. Kinda worried for YingJun though. Don't know why she so sad.

Just a normal day.

2006-08-19T12:12:00.000+08:00

Okay, its today, yet i am still talking about yesterday. Always lazy to blog. When would ever be a recording device which records every second of your life, it would be much much better.

Lets see. Have been having late night sleeps these few days. So tired in the day. Slept during literature class as usual. Felt kinda bad though. Mr White is a good teacher. Yet i am sleeping in his class, but his voice is just so soothing so sleep. Unlike during english class, i have the time to sleep but i can't. Mr Chin's voice irritates me so much.

Didn't have the intention of going choir today. But Cherie STOLE my bag so that i would go. Hahs. Luckily i went, if not, 40 sit-ups. Wondered what happened to Wenjun and Derek. They seemed lost. Choir was fun, learning the french song, which the bass-es totally swirl their way though.

Played about 15min soccer and went home with PAM and Cherie. And it was a bad choice. They STOLE my handphone and dragged me to their house vioddeck which was so far from causeway point. Hahs, had to walk back. Kinda fun anyway.

Every morning, assembly. I always got no where to sit. GuanRu is always pushing me away and like, making me an outcast. Mr Wang told me to sit at the back, and when i look back at the class, i felt that i was really an outcast, no one really cares about me. Can't say that about other friends from other class. I just love to chat with online-known friends. They don't care about my past, or they don't even know. Still, i don't know why i am kinda hated.

DAMN, the day.

2006-08-17T22:52:00.000+08:00

Haiz~ Didn't blog for so many days. I wondered who would read my blog anyway. So, anger in me today, disolved the past day's memories. Brain juices got disspitated. Oh god.
Still, could remember some though. 2 days ago, during assembly. The teachers conducted a hair check. Damn. Mr Wang didn't want to catch me, got sabo-ed by mr Lim. Greats. *sacarsm intended* Heng, this wasn't my first time cutting. So i kinda knew the barber. Worked things out with him, sort of. Hahs, and he only cut abit. Wenjun and Andrew were like totally jealous. But $6 flew away. Awww. Got back my DnT papers too, failed. Badly. 19/25. Haven't told my mom about it yet. She don't really care about DnT anyway. Yeah. That was the day.
Can't remember what happened the next day, so skipped. Today, was so furious. Literally, furious. Start of the day was normal, everything was going fine. Lent the psp game i always brought to school to Raymond, in exchange for another. It was a fine trade. Only until i lent Casey my psp. He exchange the game again with Christopher, and the psp, which was kelvin lim's got confiscated. Man, but the game? How the heck i explain to my bro.
Was so frustrated then. Thought of a good idea. Lent from kelvin both of his game as a guarrentor for the game so that my bro wouldnt so kp. Haven't told him though. *cross fingers*
Then, what's worst. The effing parent librarian. I was chatting using the computer, got caught and banned IMMEDIATELY. One of the sec2 senior say warning only, but the effing parent say she can change the rules. Totally biased against me. Damn, totally scolded her upside down. Didn't use vulgarities though, i ain't that stupid to do so. That was the damn day.
Made some blogskins too. Only submitted one, others weren't up to my standards. I feel juset so inferior when i found this new design site with cool image. I am just so lousy to the design industry.

Sick, flu.

2006-08-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

What kinda day is it? Well, normal. How good can a school day be? Got back my maths results, wonder if i should be sad or happy. Lost to many people i shouldn't, but i also pity the people who got lower than me. Caught in the middle. It wasn't good anyway, still it is better than my mid-year's.
History lesson was fun as usual. The teachers are the one who make it fun, so guess that this is a good teacher. She also gave me the 'want' to study for history. Must get good grades, pressure from my family, even if its not verbally shown. My brothers, both of them, topped their school. Haiz.
English, as usual, stupidity. Locked out of the class as we were late of class. How is it our fault? The previous teacher didn't want to release us early. But his lessons were stupid anyway, not stupid enough for my intellegience. Showed us a documentary on Mount Krakatoa, interested me anyway, but still a boring lesson. Was kind sabo-ed by christopher for an answer asked by the teacher, and he purposely gave me the wrong one. Was called to stand, but didn't really cared.
School hours were normal, boring, after school was the same. Choir practice. Was hell for me though. Had a bad flu today. Real bad. Couldn't sing, was slacking all the time. But was so uncomfortable. Runny nose, teary and tired eyes, seemed like a drug-addict. Mrs Wong was very concerned too and asked me if i was sick. Wondered why so many people dislike her, she is quite a nice person.
The flu is also killing me now. Runny nose, can't breathe properly. Feel so sick. Needa doc~!
Just want to tell Gwen. Sorry, can't sms you in school, all because of my sucky handphone. No reception. Damnit. And good luck for your common tests~!

Gwen~! Hahs. Nice lil' girl.

2006-08-13T23:43:00.000+08:00

Getting slower on my posts. Don't really have the time to blog. Cant't use the computer much, as my brother is nuts. Don't want to talk much about him.
Friday = Nothing
So i skipped to the weekends. Its the weekends. Lonely me again i guess. Hahs. I am always like this when its not a school day. No one to talk to, no company. But 'met' this new girl from blogskins. Very friendly, named gwen.
She conforted me when i was sad, calmed me down when i was furious (as always, with the people at blogskins), although it should be the opposite. Hahs. Very nice girl to sms. Spent like 120 messages per day! Wouldn't really care. Didn't sms for the last few weeks, why not spent as much as i can now.
But i worry for her bills, maybe it already exploded. Worry. Even now, at 1143, i am still chatting with her.
Had late nights for the past few days. Don't know why. Was tired, but can't get to bed. Gwen, was my company. She said she always have late nights anyway. LOL.
Nothing much really happened this 2 days. Just, waking up, getting to bed. That's all.
Maybe its only that my brother came back from taiwan, from army. Yah, and took my time away from the computer. He hog on it all day long.
The day my family went to get him from the airport, it was a 1oclock landing. Hahs, and gwen was again my company. But i fell asleep in the car on the way there, and she did too. Luckily, if not she would really have panda eyes.
Can't wait to meet her, with ben and others.
I am like, typing backwards of time. Cool huh? This was my weekend i guess.

You may call me a flirt, i wouldn't care.

The few days spent.

2006-08-09T22:09:00.000+08:00

Woah. It has been long, since my last post. Nothing really happened, or maybe i am just plain lazy myself. Did really nothing during free days. Days with no school. But kind of enjoyed school, after school i should say. NDP rehersal was fun, with cherie and cherlyn.
Monday, can't really remember what happened during school hours. Only remembered that chinese teacher, Mr Soon, was so unreasonable. The Common Test paper he set for us was totally out of the book~! He told us to revise chapter 16-19, yet words from chapter 21-26 came out! What's does he thinks he's doing?
Yet the reason he gave us was to test our IQ knowledge. He says that chinese is not about chapters and all sorts. Man, i was so fed up then. And he didn't want to gave us our papers as we made alot of noise, arguements, then.
But still, he gave us. I was so shocked about my results. 61~! Although my "han zi" had almost all blanks, i still got 61! It was one of my best results! Did quite well at the back of the paper. Done it very well i should stat it. I was happy, yet wasn't that happy. I could get 75+ if i got the "han zi" correct! But wouldn't really care as i did quite well.
It was the end of school, but there were still NDP rehersals. Enjoyed it. Chatted alot with cherie and cherlyn. Didn't know cherlyn was quite "playful" as i always thought of her as a cold girl. But i didn't really rehearsed, i was in the canteen enjoying my drink while the choir was rehersing. Kinda ran away, but i was oblivious to it. I was actually having a drink with them, but they ran away but i still continued resting in the canteen. Kinda my fault though.
It was a fun day i guess. But rehersals were tiring, not as in very tiring, sweated so much as it was hot, made me stink. Which made me think i am tired. Its all in the mind i guess. And went home after that.
The next day, it was NDP~! The eve to be exact. But my school was celebrating. Wore choir tee and jeans to school which i felt weird in. Other people on the streets were like red and white. Met cherie and pam at woodlands and went school together. It was quite early though. Reached woodlands at 645 and reached school at about 715?
Choir had so much seats, we were like so kiasu. Other cca were like 5 people to a bench, while we, 2 to one. Very spacious indeed. We don't really care though. The parade was fun though. Can't really remember. Only remembered that i and cherlyn were like sitting beside each other, yet smsing each other. Weird huh? She also teased Dexter and Sherman, nicknamed them as plateau for their hairstyle. Totally agreed though~!
After school, actually planned to go out with cherie and pam, but after we bought bbt, waited for someone -cherie's crush, or the opposite- and i changed my mind. Felt that i was kinda extra there as they were couples.
Went home and created a new blogskin. Was kinda welcomed though. Many people commented, made my day.
It was NDP, the real day, next day. Nothing really was done. My parents were both at home, so they cooked lunch, and dinner after that. I wanted SOTD that day, yet can't get it. Felt that my skin could~! Disappointed. The chance will come again some day.
Wanted to go out, yet my heart told me not too. Didn't know why, i felt like going, yet felt not. Maybe just tired, mentally and physcally. I am always at the thought that i don't have friends, but i am trying to stop it. Yet, i feel its getting true, so true. I just feel lonely, so lonely on holidays.
The next day, still, wanted to go out with noeleen and others, still didn't. The next day is today of course. Made a new skin again. It seems like making skin is such a simple job, of course, its not us that make the image, deviantors do. That's why i am dreaming of becoming a vector artist. Kinda far away dream.
My brother too is getting on my nerves. Eff the hell out of him. Selfish arse. One day, i will just get the hell out of him.

Wierdest dream.

2006-08-05T12:00:00.000+08:00

Just woke up, from a weird, nerve-racking dream. It was so real, like in reality.
One day, i invited a few people to my house for dinner. The thing is, they were all girls i known from the internet, i was american-like as people from america are very open.. There dream is very clear and i could remember even the details. I don't even know their ages. Then there's one girl i really liked and we contacted each other. Everything was just so weird. And when we were somewhere at a shopping centre, i asked her how old she was, same as me. And she don't looked like a 14.
There was one day when i was out with her, some where in a park if i am correct. We met her mom. Her mom asked how old i was, and she was like shaking her head not to tell her, still i told her 14 and she didn't allow me to be together with her. She says she want a boy younger than her. Its like OMG? But we didn't cared and continue to meet each other. Its very weird. I don't even know her name. Everything that happened, happened in scenes! Flashing through my mind.
One day, i found out that my brother didn't came home that night. He was abducted, and we realised that her mother was the person who did the deed. I also don't know how, but she did. But this kidnapping is very weird. They don't tie their victim, they just let him stand there. But my brother is too scared to run. Her mom demanded a ransom, but for my character, its a no-no. I don't even knew the amount. And my family went to rescue him. Was kinda successful, it was in a shopping center. And we at last found our brother standing in the middle. No strings tied, only that her mom was watching some time. My brother even asked me, where's the money. I was like oh man. At a point she wasn't looking, i grapped my brother and ran off. Was found out and they started chasing. We were all almost in the car except me, when they reached and tried to take over the steering. She, my girl, got the steering and i was kikced out of the car by don't know whom. The girl i trusted. But she didn't really drive the car, it skided and overturn. And i knew (from the game GTA that when a car overturn it will explode) that it would explode and called them to get out quickly but i didn't dared to rescue. It indeed exploded but the car inside was explode-proof but i only found her, a litte injured but where are my family?
She laughed. Like all those guys from movies, bad guys. I grapped her and threathened her to tell me where are they. She laughed.
Suddenly, my family members, one by one, walked out from a corner, all looked different. She had changed them. And she threw me a sort of VCD casing and i read the story line on the cover, like all VCD casing. We were in a movie, and i continued reading, my family had been changed to Shawers, which will listened to the emperor, her mother. But they still knew who am I!
Then, i woke up from my sleep. I really thought that it was real, so real. I only have something to say, don't judge the book by its cover. This is the clearest and weirdest dream i ever had, is there a message in it or something, really don't know. There of course more to it, but they don't really make sense, so i think i should not type it. Can't really have a clear image anyway.

Nothing really happened this 2 days. CTs were my only worry. Science was quite easy, chinese was crazy. Thing we have not learnt in chpter 21-26 came out, when we were taught to learn from 16-19. History lesson that day was fun, as we had alot of laugher. Everyone contibuted to the laughter. It was fun, indeed. The next day is lit. and maths. Maths paper was tough, kept skipping questions at first and realised i skipped almost all the questions. Flipped back and irealised i could do many of them. Maybe starting didn't really have the spirit to do. Still, left out few questions. Lit, was easy. Mr White is funny, took away my fear during exam. Wrote alot, maybe crap, wouldn't know. Don't need to study much actually, they already gave you a passage where you have to explain it. After school also stayed back to do science project which i ought to hand up few weeks ago. My teacher is really a good guy, Mr Lim. Wanted to go for lunch with noeleen and others, but they totally got on my nerves and i just walked away. They, just like everyone, said that i sucked or something. Hate these people. Ate lunch alone in school, who cares. Went to library to do the project. Where i met yannting and others. At the end, they said i disturb them from doing their project. It was toally the OPPOSITE! And blamed me for not letting them do the project. I also wasn't able to finish my project on time. The computer crashed when i was trying to save it. Was scared, still i went to Mr Lim and he said he let me hand up on monday as i was hardworking to stay back in school to do. He is a good teacher. Then the library was closing so we went to the canteen to finish their project. Bought some drinks and i was forced to treat them, but they started to splash BARLEY water at me. I wanted to scold them, but curbed my anger. Just hate people who had gone overboard and continued to. Was able to grap my bag and rushed off for home. With kelvin tan and others. But i couldn't get into the train station. MY CARD WAS STILL IN THE LIBRARY AND IT WALREADY CLOSED. Didn't know how i can go home. At last, could grap a buck or 2 from my wallet. Bought a single ticket. Phew. But i thought, what did i do before to have that as retribution. As i always thought everything is about equivalent exchange.

CTs, Christians.

2006-08-02T20:53:00.000+08:00

Today, history common test. Didn't really studied much about chapter 1-3. And totally wasted my time on chapter 4. Only a two mark question came out of it. The test difficult was so-so. Had crapped alot in it i guess. Had some last-minute revisions in the morning. On the way school in the mrt. But it seems that i could absorb the most during then~! Learnt alot of chapter 2, which helped me alot. Mrs Lai is really a good and friendly teacher, realised more of that today. She would wave at you if you are far away. A teacher waving at you~! Like a friend. Always joked with her, same for today. Realised why i didn't really liked christians today, SOME only. During chapel, they talked about the mosquitoes but didn't really said why God made it this way. They said mosquitoes bite, but it helped in pollination. NO LINK. Pastors are also hard-core. It seems like they are always threathening. Like they will say, when you die, you must make a personal account to God. And if you can't answer, muahahha. It seemed threathening to me. But still, this is only for SOME of them. Others are fine, good friends too. Tommorrow is Science CT, Chinese too. And i am so damn worried now. Didn't revise chinese, a little i guess. Science, chapter 10 is not even looked through. Gotta do it now.
And also, a PLEA for comments. PLEASE~! Just don't use only the tagboard, what's the comments function for?

Flash, new? Not anymore.

2006-08-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

Title DO really sounds weird. But still, i feel like a total noob to it. Just started learning the day before and have some works of it. Man, i really need a teacher to really teach me. Nothing really happened this few days. Worried for CTs, just like now, i am totally worried for history. English was overestimated i guess. I didn't know that CTs only have paper 2, without summary even. Was kinda happy when i found out. The paper was easy, only then, i had a diaherrea. Was fedup. So unlucky. Other lessons were normal, DnT was not so boring, as i was busy copying my lit. homework. English, need not say. Always the same, but i kept talking to mavis and gang. And got scolded, not really. Just warnings. Ate lunch with Elain, uncommonly rare. Went out very less with her, although we are "close". Went home after school but wasted alot of time on the way home. Elain pulled me into a train which i was not suppose to take. Hahs. And belicia also took my history notes and i had to go back to the market behind school to get it back, also went home with them. That's my day today i guess. Normal, yet happy as i wasn't unhappy. I love learning new things, but i always face many obstacles. Like now, learning flash, its getting on my nerves. Taking away all my time, no time to revise already. Haiz, gonna burn the midnight oil~.

Another great day.

2006-07-30T23:33:00.000+08:00

It was indeed a good day again. Woke up kinda late, so had to postpone the time a little later, as planned 10 and changed to 11. Met Juinli at Woodlands Mrt and walked to WRL. We thought that at 11, tables wouldn't be so filled up, but there was no difference. Had no choice but to go back to the same place. And the same thing happened. The security guard again thought that we'd moved the sofa and wanted us to move back, but walked away after having said his piece. So we too, changed place without moving the sofa. Didn't really cared. History was again the subject. But i felt that too much time was spent on it, so moved on to science. Ate lunch at LJS again, as i felt it was nice. There wasn't really any good place at CWP anyway. Went for some shoppings after that. But man, we are out to study! Hahs. So quickly went back after buying some tibits from UNcle tibits. I also bought a bottle of mineral water, which cost 40cents and had to queue up for sometime. Haiz. It was fun though, with her. Went back to library but didn't do much. Kinda restless already. Juinli didn't know what to study already and even went to read books. I continued my science anyway. After not long, we packed up and went home. It was a fun day. Still, many things can't be explained, or shown in words. As the CTs are getting near, anxiety is building up in me. So worried about literature.

Also chatted with some friends today on msn. Kept telling them this,

One will rock one own life if one thinks one life rocks. Its one mind
which controls one life, not the life, not one's surrondings.

Its really true, i guess. But its difficult to attain that.

A Nice Day, Wonderful Day.

2006-07-29T22:31:00.000+08:00

Woke up today. It was indeed a better day. Was so worried about common tests, wanted to go out and study, but with who? Surprisingly, went out with Juinli. =) Nice girl to study with. Chatty. And she's the only girl who wanted to study with me at Woodlands. Hahs. Other would think that its rather far. Met her at Woodlands Mrt at 1.15 but reached there only at 1.30. Sorry. Ate LJS, and it was pouring then. Took great 'pains' to get to the Woodlands Regional Library. Had no choice but to take a bus there. There were seats there though. Had to sit on the floor. The sofa was our table. Note taking session. Was cool man. It was a fun time with her. Talked and had fun while studying. XP but it was cold there. Boredom wasn't there for a second. Met Stacy too, or is it she came? But disappeared after seeing us. Don't really know what is she up to. It was like until 6, then we packed up and went in search for Stacy. She was all alone there studying, why didn't she came with us, wouldn't know. Chatted abit, while Stacy kept um-chioing (silent laughter). And we went home. There is of course, more to the story, but its difficult to put it in words i guess. Hope tommorow would be just as nice. Can't expect more of it.

Repetitive motion make one sick.

2006-07-29T09:53:00.000+08:00

Yesterday. Just a normal day again. So repetitive. Just like the world of robots. Only that we have a mind of our own, and we can't put it to use. History was fun, Lite too. Other just plain boring. Still, i can't say that the teacher has no faults. They made the decision to whether have an active or restless class. Its just up to the teacher.

Repetitive motion make one sick.

Was already to tired after school, but there was still choir practice. Was totally drained off. Went lunch with Wenjun and Lennon, met some others, joc, pohshen, derek and jacky. Choir practice was normal, not say fun, not say boring. Maybe it is boring. It was the same old song from last time. It ended, and wanted to go home. But it couldn't stop me from soccer. Was totally drained off after that. Yet, went home and still had to face all the SHIT. Fuck them off man. My dad, don't even deserve to be a dad. Says what, Szehoe, Your mom and i have done alot in the previous house and we are tired. Did he even do anything? Only go there shake leg. Then still don't want carry things back. Yet wanted to get all his shit back from the old house but don't want carry. Even a typewrite also want, man we have the computer. Left me and my mom to carry the things. Fuck, says what its so heavy then cannot carry. Man anot? I am so tired of my life.

My first Skin Of The Day

2006-07-27T22:21:00.000+08:00

Quite a good day for me, i guess. The day was smooth. Every thing went fine. Went out with Juinli, nice person to talk to. Ate in school, went for remedial, Went to get BBT with Juinli and the LEY/LIE brothers along with stacy and came home. Maths remedial was idiotic. Mr Tan is always repeating. But its good for us as some of us still wouldn't understand. He is a good teacher, which always got bullied by us i guess. Good teacher tend to get bullied, feel sorry for them. Treat us well, yet we did unwise. Went home, and happiness just got over me. My first SOTD. Couldn't expect to get it. Its like just after the war. First skin in my new account. Maybe you will feel its no big deal as many people already got it, hah! But, its the first time for me. Create another skin too, and sort of got my style, own style of skinning. But, IT day homework was tedious. Tedious for the mind. Was so tired and worried after doing it. Didn't really did the homework, its the worry which totally got over me. There were so much things to do. Common test is round the corner too. Its a titing day, mentally.

Its over.

2006-07-26T23:02:00.000+08:00

When one looked at the tile, one must have think that its somethingbad, BGR relationship huh? Nah. Wars at blogskins.com. Its over at last. It was long, yet meaningful. How mean people may be when they are unhappy about you. Wasn't really happy yesterday as people were cursing and swearing at me. Haiz. Don't want to talk about it. IT day was boring. In fact, i feel that they should even have an IT day. Kinda waste of time. Study only like 1hr, although i don't like studying. Went to temple for 7th month prayers. Fortunately, she was there to sort of accompany me, by sms. But i felt weird, she said she liked me, but wouldn't want to start a relationship due to some personal things. Will support her decision though. Can't agree more to one of her sms.

When you have a relationship, there will tend to be breakups. While
darlings/good friends wouldn't ever experience a break.

Its true, don't you think so too? I always contradict myself. I blogged a post about Fake Steads while i wanted one too. Don't really know myself i guess. I, myself is my own enemy, maybe. Skipped school today, why not? Wanted a long break. 3 consequtive days. Cool. But it seems like without school, my life stopped. It seems like i totally lost contact with the world. Stuck at home the whole . day. Four wall enclosed. Guess that would be my next skin. Made 2 skins today, but didn't DARE to submit. Submitted one still. But had a whole fresh start, new account, new personality too i guess. Trying as hard to change.

Reasons For Steading.

2006-07-24T22:25:00.000+08:00

Didn't bothered to blog yesterday. Wouldn't really like to blog if there's nothing really going on. Don't really like weekends i guess. Nothing will really happened as weekends i wouldn't go out. It seems like a day of isolation. But fortunately got some talkative ones. XP phoebe. hahs. Yesterday, i also found out why youths want to stead. Lonely, maybe? They want a companion but ended up finding more problems to themselves instead. Read many people blogs and realised, BGR is a big problem. But i feel that good friends will do a better job. Chatted with both phoebe and her today but i felt happier, chatting with phoebe. Conversations between me and phoebe were interestings and she always had topics to talk about. While i and her, its like questions and answers. Bet most people do experience that too. Maybe its back to the same logic.

Friends can do a better job and that of one stead. Instead, steads will bring more problems to one.

Today, nothing really happened i guess. Just waiting for school hours to skip by. Almost got caught for hair but didn't in the end. Luck was on my side. They only implemented the checks on about 4 classes. Choir practise was quite boring. Almost played truant but got caught back instead. Went home with PohShen and her friends. Had kind of fun on the Mrt. And that was the day. My brother is also getting on my nerves these days. Trying to act like a king. Selfishness was the only word that can describe his nature. Effed up, totally by him.

The great 'logics' of life.

2006-07-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

The day was normal. The computer is my only friend, guess so. Every weekend, outings ain't my fancy. I am always infront of the computer. But my family just doesn't like it. Who cares. Its just a normal day. Woke up, went for breakfast, came home, used computer, went to play basketball, came home, computer, dinner. Simple, yet sweet. It has been like 2 years since i had played basketball, or should i say had done a regorious exercise. Fun though. And i may even grow taller. Thought of many great 'ideas', 'logics' with a friend. Like love, true love.

true love maybe just near you...but you might not notice it..till the right time comes for you to know for sure a certain girl is the right one for you.. (:

its really true i guess. true love, something which is almost impossible to find. Maybe its the heart which is lost. We are always ignorant to the people around us, who cares most about us, and we think that we are ignored. If one would notice the carers, their life would be better.

"nvm" do not end conversations. its just ending a clause. which invites new topics to the convesation. a conversation will only be stopped when one do not take the effort to think of any topic.

Have you ever chatted before and you said "nvm", and the conversation just ended, like that. But its not true that nvm kills all conversation. Cannot agree more to the fact that "nvm" do end topics but not converstion. It will only end when there are no topics to think about, but if you had thought about it, there are thousands of topics which can be chatted of. Even the word "hmm" can too be one. When people says "hmm", are they thinking, in deep thought, or just trying to drag time. "lol" is often seen in conversations too, as one has nothing to say. But at least one takes the effort to say "lol" instead of not typing a thing. It can at least clear abit of coldness, silence. But sure, it will be irritating if its too commonly used. Just remember, its the effort that makes it work.

The day I curbed my anger.

2006-07-22T11:31:00.000+08:00

Weird title huh? But its very important, very dear to me. I always had this problem, controlling my anger. At last, i was able to. Went to the market with Stel, Val, Shimin, and some others. After eating, I burbed. XD Then Shimin threw a saucer of chilli at me. Was like WTF? But i didn't got angry. I felt my heart was burning but i didn't react. Found a method to it.

When you are angry, its because your body is producing a lot of anger energy. Don't try to stop it, just let it out. You will feel heat, but just let it out of your body, and take a deep breath in. Don't ever try to stop it, just take notice of the energy and you will realise it will be all released.

The best method of anger management. But to Shimin, if i reacted then, things will turn bad, really bad. So just don't think that i am a coward or what. And don't think yourself so highly. You are just a normal girl. It was still a normal day. School days are always normal, everything is repetition. Kind of a robotic life. But the aim is to find something important you have learnt from the day. Nothing really happened. Choir was boring as boys had to attend for only half of the practice. Practised the NDP performance and left at about 5. When i got home, i was told that my brother was flying off for taiwan for his army training. Oh my. I totally forgotten about it. It was a night flight anyway. He was doing his last minute packing again but it wasn't as late as what my dad thought it would be. Ate at the airport which wasn't really good. Just to fill the stomach. And prices there were much higher than that of coffeeshops. Ate alot, and left my brother with indigestion, but he was okay after going to the Gents. There were also many army personels there. And everyone looked the same. All with short hair and black spectacles. It was like a colony of ants. Crowded. About 12:30, my brother departed for taiwan. And there goes he. Would be back after 3 weeks. But man, its just 3 weeks. Why my parents is like so, worried. Was so sleepy and slept immediately when i reached home.

Dark and Light of the day, or past.

2006-07-20T16:05:00.000+08:00

Now for today's post. At last, i am going to post about the things i always wanted. Didn't know why until now. I always had this 'past' feeling flashing through my mind. Have you? If you have been listening to songs for very long, you would have felt it. Songs are things that truly keeps your feelings. Remember the time when you listened to an outdated song, which you have been listening very long ago, and you suddenly felt the 'past'. The feeling is obvious, you could remember the exact thing you were doing that. Like for me, Eminem's Mocking bird reminds me of the time when i was still a newbie and trying to make a website. I am sure many would have experienced it. If you don't try starting now. Songs are the best keeper of feelings. Not memories, but feelings. Nothing really happened today. Played alot with stacy and juinli, don't think of other thoughts. Just that was kinda followed by the Discipline teacher Mr Wee. When i asked students from my school who is the discipline head, they would say Mr Wee. Why? He is just too outstanding. Maybe its because he is a DnT teacher, always slacking, nothing to do so he find faults on student. Fancy keeping students during recess. Kinda insane i should say. He may also cause emotional hurts on students when he gets harsh. Students may have gastric but wouldn't dare to say out. Would really say much on that. Today, he keep inspecting my class, when we were noisy, like always, and he tried to pick on me. I wouldn't be afraid anyway. That the darkness of the day. The light, was history lesson. Really enjoyed it. Fun and laughter was in the air. Went to the computer lab to do some research as we had a new project today and we kind of make fun of Mrs Lai. She's a nice teacher i should say. One of the few teachers who speaks our language. Then there was one spoiled computer which i 'used' it. Used it to trick the teacher. It was earlier on but it was stuck on a blank screen which had many words, computer languages. And i tried to type, really, words came out. So i got an evil thought. I tried to make as if the computer was alive. And i typed, "So hi. I am lonely. I have been a computer for five years, please chat with me." And Mrs Lai actually thought it was true! Our whole class laughed. She was like at first in a state of shock. And she went like, you are so lame. Then at the end of the lesson, she wanted the class to be quiet and said "I don't want to hear any noise." And i went like "Shhh. Don't say the work 'noise'." Glad that i made people laugh. As always, Laughter is the best policy in life.
Ate lunch in school, with Joel again. Don't know why am i always with him these few days. I've got no one anyway. Not as in no one, they just wants to go home. But i enjoyed this day.

Stead-ing? Fakes.

2006-07-20T15:42:00.000+08:00

Didn't blog yesterday. Slept too early, late evening, 9pm. But was still so sleepy today. Yesterday's PE was kinda disappointing. Napha test. Lost to some people whom i shouldn't lost to. And they also irritated me. But i also realised one great thing in life, which always caused trouble. Have you ever thought why suddenly so many people knows your secret? It simple actually. I had a secret to kept today, but suddenly i realised that i had already spread it to 3 people. but they are the people i trust. Thank goodness they were really trustworthy, if not i would die a terrible death. If you were like me, its over. Everyone would know your secret. Why? The people you trusted would tell it to the people they trusted. So it goes on and on, until one day, you find out that everyone knows it. I have only an advice, keep secrets to yourself. Not even your bestfriend. Nothing really happened yesterday. Or maybe i had forgotten about it? Wouldn't know. Was chatting with a friend last night, she was kinda frustrated with her homework, and i asked her to consult her stead. I totally agree with her reply. She said that her boyfriend wouldn't care about her and would only consult his problems to her. I always agree to the fact that 50% of stead couples are fake. Why would people mostly have stead for? For students, its mostly show-off, and the reason they use is that they needed someone to share their sorrows. True? Not really. They will mostly end up trying to please the other party and slowly, they will find it a nuisance. But i still wouldn't know why would they ended up being so sad. If you don't agree, just wait and you'll see. For me, i also don't know what are my thoughts and thinking.

WE are all animals, aren't you?

2006-07-18T22:15:00.000+08:00

So how should i put it? Today, sleepy again. The exact same day of last's weeks. The past was indeed repeating. I was still, as sleepy as always. Maybe its the lessons in place, DnT. In the torment of our DnT teacher for 1 1/2 hour, who can take it? I was so sleepy, but i couldn't sleep. Again, i slept but didn't sleep. Its for you to think yourself. Got kind of scolded for sleeping, but it ain't my fault. Yes, its his fault. He made his class boring. Wouldn't really care. Rushed my chinese composition during english lesson. Wanted to give Mr Soon some respect as a teacher. He isn't treat really well in school, by the student. I believe that he was always bullied. Didn't went 'out' for lunch today. Lennon wanted to go home, so i ate in school. Felt lonely, but there was Joel, someone whom i don't really like from last year, but i feel he's quite good now. Nothing really happened today. Only that i got a news that Amy, a close friend, was flying back to Taiwan. Will miss her, yeah. But there was some other news which i can't say out. When i was in the train on my way home, it was raining so heavily. I looked out of the window and thought, why are humans so lucky? Animals had to take shelter when its raining but humans can still do what they wanted. Humans should be grateful for the brain they have and not complain on small matters, like rain water from the roof and etc. After all, WE are all still animals, aren't you?

No longer a Loner.

2006-07-17T21:50:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, didn't really had the time to blog. Was chased by my dad to go to bed. Was kinda dishearted, as of the next day, i couldn't remember deep details of yesterday. My memory is bad, but it contradicts me at times. Some of my friends said that i have a good memory, whilst i disagree. Yet at times i agree. Starting to change my way, or style of language for blogging. It seems nicer to read. Clearer. It gives out my thoughts and thinking, my real self. I also changed my thinking. I always thought that i am a loner, but in fact i have friends behind me, whom i don't take notice of. Life isn't so bad after all. Its just also a matter of give and take. For those people who think their life sucks, remember that everyone is equal, its a matter of give and take. If your life sucks for the meantime, wait is the only thing you should do and you will gain something of the exact value, price, in future. Today, school was nothing. There was maths test. Kinda leaped o'er it. Basics of maths teaching i guess. I still remember when i was in Primary school, my maths was one of the best there, always like getting top5, but when i get here, it sucked. I wondered whether it was me, or my surroundings. Maybe its just my mind, only for primary school basic stuffs. It can't read any deeper knowledge i guess. Or maybe i just didn't worked hard enough. Most of my subjects also deproved, tremendosly. Or should i say all of them. Don't know why. I always had a thought, that i hated school. But i too had a thought that i loved coming to school and i have my reasons for both of them. I hated school, why must we face the boredom of being in a class with the teacher "teaching". If my family had the money, i would rather have a private teacher. But i also loved school, it let me interact with the people of the real world i guess. Imagine if i haven't been to school, i wouldn't know whats betrayal and backstabbing. Maybe thats why at times i looked down on rich fellows. Choir was kinda fun today. We could express oureselves. It was like only a quarter of a choir. Only the boys had to come, to reherse a performance, or start on it. Little people also means that your voice would be louder. It was comforting as i started to know that i was kind of required in choir. When therer are too many people, you will feel neglected. It all the same. Whether its a class, or a group, or any other "organizations". It was fun. We were let off at about 4. 'Played' soccer. Literally played. Just for the fun of it. We are all newbies, can't agree more. It was tidious, so i went off earlier. Too tired. Felt like sleeping, yet when i reached home, i didn't want to sleep. It's a waste of time. Why should we spend our free time into sleeping when we still have energy? What energy mean to me, its just something i use to do things. Thats why i always do not want to sleep at night. Cos i still have energy to do things. Wouldn't it be nice, if we could have all the energy we want? So now what's energy mean to you?

Fantastical, of Wind

2006-07-16T23:24:00.000+08:00

So how was my day again? Normal. Happy i guess. You'll only be happy if, you had done the things you want. Well for me, i did it. Changed my blog layout to kinda website thingy. Spent quite long at it. Movable layouts take the most time. Nothing much really happened today. My brother had to go back to his army camp. Packing up was kinda chaotic. He is always doing last minute things. But i just don't understand my dad. He always wants to set of early, not as in punctual, stupidity early. Such a waste of time. He says its not so rushing. But why waste time driving so slow? I just don't understand adults, or should i say they don't understand me. Its all in the mind i guess. My dad's car's air-con isnt working since he got it back. No choice had to use the advantages of moving air i guess. Have you ever notice that there's actually alot in it, of wind. My dad was speeding, and strong winds blew. Closed my eyes and felt that i was like in a tornado. Wipping and tearing through a land. Very Intensive. Yeah, thats the word. It also seems like i was in water, gliding with the waves. It also seemed like i was in heaven, with angels all around embracing me. Coolness was in the air. Thats something good i realised today.

Nothing, the day.

2006-07-15T11:59:00.000+08:00

Everytime i blog, usually during the "wee" hours of the night, i will always ask myself something. "What did i do and didn't today?" If there's nothing big, i wouldn't feel like blogging. But, when i didnt blog, it would give me a feeling that i will lose a memory in life, a memory of a day, a precious one. These few days, i realised that this thought kept flashing through my mind. Today, 15 July 2006, there wouldn't be just an exact same day again. So why don't we treasure each day, record every happenings, small and big, so that we will not regret. There would NEVER be the exact day happening again, NEVER. So why not treasure each day? When i look at the clock everytime, i would think, i will never see this time again. Youth, is one of the BEST thing people neglected. I've read before an email regarding thoughts and thinking of people. When they are 15, they tend to have the thought of being older, like 20. But when they reach 20, they want to become 15. Thats regret(-ion). To all the youths out there, treasure your young, so that you will not regret. This is one of my best and meaningful post i should say, i guess. So now its my turn to ask myself the same thing. What did i do and didn't today. Nothing is best to describe 15 July 2006. Spent most of my time with closed eyelids. Woke up at only 1pm. Wanted to go to Alwyn's birthday party, ended up doing nothing at home. Trying to get more traffic to my site, but to no avail. I admire people whom have blogs, with almost a thousand unique visitors per day. Just hope that one day i would be just like them. My handphone destroyed my day too, or should i say my mother. She took it away first thing in the morning when i was still in my dreamland, playing. And made me running around the house finding it. Handphone is regarded as one of my most precious thing. A pastime. Literally, it helps me past time, or let the time fly. Not really about the handphone, its about SMSing. As the short-form says, short-message-service. Really, by communicating with short messages, it will take a longer time, thus, time flies! But, my handphone's crappy too. Almost anywhere, there wouldn't be a full-barred reception. Wouldn't care about it anyway. I'll just have to walk to an open space and send the SMS. Have you realised something, i could type out much from just a little, small, unoticed object. like an handphone. One can describe his life fruitful and one can describe his life just as terrible if ONE wants to. Its all in the mind. Every one is equal. We all share the same life. Its all about give and take. So if you think you life is terrible, just remember this, WE ARE ALL EQUAL. Obstacles are what that make us stronger. Back to TODAY. My dad got his Limo back. After not enjoying the spacious of the Limo for half a year, i found it BIG and spacious in it! And i realised some great proverbs again. People will only learn to treasure things after they lose them. Its really true. Things just got better between me and her. Happy i guess. But her attitude wasn't as good as before, towards me. Can't have better, i should already be happy that she would have the thought to sms me. My eyelids are closing already. Again, sleep calls me. Its already 1, 1am of tommorow. Wouldn't want to stretch my post to TOMMOROW. Well then, i should round up my day. "Nothing" was my day.

If you ever think that your life is terrible, remember this, "Everyone is equal, we share the same amound of weals and woes." And also, think of all the little, unoticed of, things in life, not until you lose it and start to regret.

Slept, but didn't sleep.

2006-07-14T22:23:00.000+08:00

Today. sleeps calls me, even after light covered the land. eyelids of mine close anytime without notice, without knowing. some lessons like science, i could concentrate as it was hands on, but for lite, i totally slept. cant sleep but slept. i could just fall asleep when i am writing things. that how sleepy am i. the worse thing was, i dont even know why am i so sleepy. but i wanted to listen to what mr white was teaching, i just couldnt concentrate. english lesson was fun as it was, fun? we had to do an assignment, 'listening comprehension'. we had to write out few sentences of the lyrics of the song LONELY by Akon. luckily i loved that song and i already knew the lyrics. XDD it was fun though. after that was assembly and i just tried to keep myself awake, i cant sleep too anyway, we are sitting on the floor, if sleep surely tio caught de. why cant they just put us in the gallery? that would be so much better. assembly today was a performance by Vietnamese students which came for the exchange program. their english is still not bad i should say. but still i was too sleepy for anything. this made me almost skipped choir but i still didn at last. went out with lennon for lunch. i was actually following noeleen and others. but suddenly dexter pop up, such an extra, so i decided to get lunch ourselves. lennon is a good friend. wont pangseh de. then saw stella meimei and valerie ahmahXD on the way so asked them to foolow. haiz, must treat them. bo pian. but today i already so fed up le. kena scammed by one of the canteen vendor. used a $50 note to get a $2 food but it became $12 instead.i trusted that guy, but when i realised he had short-changed me by $10, it was already too late. i was already in class, recess had eneded. then he said he gave me the correct change when i asked him after school. i also didn bothered to zui jiu the matter. i will surely check my change next time, this is a dear lesson taught man. today choir was fun, the NDP dance prac was boring, duh, but after miss yee came, it became so fun. she was so lame today. gave each of the section 4 ranks. boys was as according. Man, Boys, Babies, Germs. so lame lah. and we were demoted to virus. mutated. lolx. girls was Ladies, Girls, Babies, Rabies. kinda ryme huh? choir prac was short today as we had the NDP dance prac. about 1hr for singing only. didnt know why suddenly went to play soccer with wilson and others after choir. i am a person whom don really like sports. but of cuz, i got play before soccer. it was kinda lame too lahs. kena tripped by kuek jing lucily got a good fall. didn get hurt. kelvin also had to climb over to ChaoYang school to get the ball. and had a bad time getting back to PHS. went home with them after that. that's my day after all. dont want to blog about unhappy happenings. its all in my mind anw.

2006-07-13T20:16:00.000+08:00

hmmm. today. woke up like omfg so late. 630 and i didn even know. i looked at the clock and thought, 630............OMG! 630! rushed to school. but didn know why did everything so fast and left house normal time. school was boring, as usual. there wasnt BIG happenings. but today i was exceptionally sleepy. could fall asleep anything. when mr tan was teaching, i was just resting my head on my hand and there i was in my dreamland. i could close my eyes anytime and i couldnt concentrate. the lesson need no concentration anyway. i knew what he was teaching. its like totally basics. sat beside juinli during his lesson and chatted really well i guess. today, for the first time, mr koh shouted. lolx. but the class was really too much. they gave no respect to the teacher. i admit, i was quiet. no energy for almost anything. also did some hist hmwk during his lesson. was kinda worried about science lesson as i didn bring a potato which i was told to. afraid that he will do what he said. so i tried all means to get a POTATO. bought one from the "cai fan" stall. he said he would charge 20cents but when i gave him $2 he return 80cents. i guess that he was confused too. but i didn really cared and didn ask the rest from him. science was fun/boring maybe. i was also worried about history as i still, haven handed up my chapter 1 article. i just dont know why i wouldnt bring myself to do it. but mrs lai didn came today anw. and had an hour of party. played like siao. was like "fighting" with shimin. fun. she wrote my name on the board with a PERMANANT marker. how can you erase off a permanant marker ink? of course by using a whiteboard marker to coat it but shimin was the only one in class who got. and i bo pian mus use water. used alot of strength to get that damn thing off. that was my day. school day. but today, got really effed up. its just that she kinda got a attitude prob. she got jealous just for lil things but the thing is she isnt really my gf. and i just smsed another girl. summore many pple knew that the girl was my mei. didn really bothered. went out with the same pple for lunch. only that today got wenjun and joc, a new sec1 i know. she dont seemed to be a sec1 at first as i thought. and i came home. a good day i think. GOOOOD. without some lil probs i guess.

2006-07-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

okay. what i did and didn last 2 days. nothing. literally. i hate blogging when i got nothing to. lemme see. tuesday, was so tired. slept during DnT. tend to sleep so late these few days. 12 is normal, early i think. but anw, i could sleep in school. so why should i bother? wednesday's PE was fun. its was fun to know that i grew 3cm taller. wow. but i just cant get fatter. dont know why. pple wants to get thinner but i am the opposite! met a new person lately. PohShen. it seems like i could chat with her so well. chatty indeed. and for the girl i had a crush for, we seemed to be further apart. she always don't want to reply my sms. and always cold to me. not as in ignore, but her character. not v open i guess. these few days are quite good for me i guess. my tagboard site is also getting better. much better. http://freezyice.flyserver.biz/tbox/

2006-07-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

haiz. didn blog for the past 2 days. was so damn busy with my new website. got the idea when i was about to sleep on saturday's nite. slept at about 3am as i wanted to watch a woldcup match which i was told that it is telecast on chnl5. but it didn. my dad had came back that day from his business trip to london. went to the airport and took a maxi-cab back. it was a boring day. the next day, a tiring day for me, mentally. worked from scatch on my new website and experienced many ups and downs. met many obstacles on the way. i even accidentally deleted my current resource site but didn really cared.my mind almost exploded. i was on the comp the whole day, except during lunches and dinner. slept at about 12 as i wanted to watch the worldcup final. missed it. my brother didn wake me up. but i wasnt really sad i guess. it wasnt a really nice match. italy and france arent really my liking too. i was worried of tommorrow, didn do history homework as reminded by stacy. woke up the next day, so tired. my dad had already gone for work. went to school earlier than normal. took the 2nd train from the last. it was early to me. the shirt i wore today was so damn small. not my size even. needa really buy a bigger one. it looked totally weird on me. and i was kinda embarrassed. looked like a clown but i don't tink anyone will notice. i was able to copy my history homework and didn get caught. mrs lai was firece but i still feel that she's a good teacher. its our fault that we didn do. the day was normal. nothing really happened. its monday but choir practive was cancelled. went lunch still, with the same sec1s. i love sec1s. they don't really know "bad" things. innocent i should say. and they don't treat me like an outcast. after lunch, went home and continued my website. was able to complete what was in my mind. tagboards could be customized. until now, i still couldnt believe that i could make a website like that. but if i continue to "work" my brains at this rate, it will really explode. and please support me by registering for your own tagboard at my website. this is the link. TBOX

2006-07-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i woke up late. but today was worst. Woke up at 630 and rushed off. Took a bus to the woodlands mrt and came home. bo pian. miss last train le. its better to pon than to kena dc. but i also didn really want to go school. my stomach was pain. not as in stomach pain. its like the side effects of yesterday's run. shouldnt have pushed myself so hard. came home. did nothing. it was boring i guess. but i spent my time quite wisely. learnt many things about php and now i could make my own tagboard. happy i guess. i also worked on my website and its almost done. nothing really happened today. no contraversy, no big happenings. i was at home all day. of course, i went out for lunch with my brother, whom also pon his poly today. hes kinda lame. wanted me to eat western food but i said i want to save. so he say he sponsor. the irony was that he didnt eat western and instead ate a cheap wanton mee. of course i ate western as he wanted to sponsor. hahs. cos he got sour throat and just wanted to try the fish and chips abit. that was my lunch. found out about a nice singer today, introduced by Audrey. Shakira rocks man. very kinda retro style. thats my day i guess. haven done my history homework and which i had to pass up last week. juinli even told me that ms lai scold pple today for not handing up. i die liao lah. tmr still got lite. sianz. and its so late again. 1230. it will be a tiring day tmr. but its still a happy day for me i guess. =)
Website status: 90%
http://freezyice.flyserver.biz

2006-07-05T22:22:00.000+08:00

*yawn* woke up like so damn late this morning. slept so late yesterday. haiz. wanted to watch the semi-final match. missed it. couldnt wake up. worse still, i only slept for 4 hrs. went to school with a tired heart, body and mind. literally slept during morning assembly. always sleep then too anyway. the 1st and 2nd periods were PE. was happy i guessed. can energise myself up. people who failed had to run their 2.4 but i also ran with them. then guanru said, you already passed still want to run, haolian arh. i was like, fucked. man, felicia and others also called me come de mah. so i replied, some of the girls called me to come, fatty. he didn bring his PE though and was like so unhappy with the loan PE uniform. but instead of helping the girls, i ran the 2.4km. bo pian. zongqin had the same timing as me. i admit, i have a "too competitive" heart but that's me. so i ran. but paid a price for it. hahs. felt so sick after the run and i dont know why. was so nauseaous and headach and tired. the run totally drained me out. PE ended and i went back to class and tried to calm myself down. i was breathless then. tried to lie on the table but i just felt so uncomfortable. it was like living hell. couldn't open my eyes, nor even move. and i just felt so nauseaous. after an hour of chinese lesson, it was chapel and i totally couldn't move. i was so, dead. vomitted, 2 times. tried to make my way to the chapel but i couldn't take it anymore. i told myself to find any teacher near by. man, the only one there was the principal. went to hear and guess what she told me, find any teacher around to sign you into the sick bay. LOL. made my way to the general office and saw mr ang on the way. he told me to wait for him at the general office. walked there and saw mr teo. heng arh. my asst. FT. he wanted to take me to the doc but i declined. when he was signing in for me, i had a sudden stomach pain. it killed me. literally. dropped myself on the floor. REN3 was the only thing i could do. but it was only momentarily and i went to the sick bay to rest. the worst thing was that the sick bay was locked and i had to make my way back to the general office in my state. but still made it. after an hour or less sleep, i totally became better. back to my norm. had my recess and went back for classes. needa thank mr teo. hes quite good teacher really. only very keh gao. art lesson. half an art lesson i should say. the teacher only came in 30mins after the lesson should already start. what i did during that 30mins. "slept" while stella cutted my nails. LOL. she made it round. girlish. hahs. but i didn cared. the teacher who came in is a relieve teacher. no mr wang. but we still respected him. i was kinda afraid of him. he looked scary. and he teaches sec3s too. we continued our art pieces of last week's. was happy of my master piece. character first was boring, as usual. but mr teo wasnt teaching CF. he didn had anything for us. and there was how i spent my school hours. after school, already planned, went for lunch with stella and val. got lennon on the way. treated stella $2 and a bubble tea for all of us. didn really cared as they are my friends. real ones i know. and got back to school for IT media. was happy today as i was able to show my websites and designs to the pple there. did nothing really as the ftp server was blocked. came home with kelvin, lennon and junhao. lauren and others met us on the way. blahblah. got home and entered the hall. my brother was kinda nuts today. he wanted to cook instead of going down for dinner. omg. went with him to buy the ingredients and helped him chop the vegs and others. the food tasted quite good. but too salty for me i guess. and i wont ever do this again. food at the coffeeshop is almost the same price and much better. XD

2006-07-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

hmmm. didn blogged the past few days again.. okay, the last post ended at the world cup thingy. woke up at about 10 that day. so tired.. slept for 5 hrs. hhahs. then i started on many many things. at last i was able to link my blog to my ftp server. hurray. hahs. working on a resource site currently. hope it'll be good. but it takes too much of my time. very difficult to do. met alot of probs on the way. haiz. maybe more effort put in the better it'll be i guess. thats how i spent the day. on the computer. it was the same for monday. only that monday i had a clearer vision of my target. hahs. and i was also able to make Users Online php codings!! no need hosted script de liao. but i was so worried then. didn even do a single hmwk which i had so many. haiz. didn feel like going school on tues, today. slept so late then wake up late. bo pian still must go. nothing really special today. DnT was quite fun. English, normal lah. Everything was boring, as usual. But i saved quite some money today. needa save more. owe pple many presents. haiz. hahahas. the feeling of brokeness must never be underestimated. now to talk about pple. guanru. woah. what should i say. i hate him from the inside i guess. he is lyk, always suanning me? today i asked him things about maple. i asked him if he knows who is the current top lvl person and replied, it mus be your bro's friend right??? wtf man. don care anything le lahs. i still rmb last tym he "played" maple and was lvl was quite high. its his bro de lor. still wan haolian. okay back to today. went to esaint hse to do smth html thingys as he wanted my help but end up doing nothing. i did my website lahs but he just played DoD. a normal day i guess. maybe not so normal as i admitted.
http://freezyice.flyserver.biz/
My website. 10% finished.

2006-07-02T05:43:00.000+08:00

jus came back from coffeeshop. sad lah. brazil lost. but it was a nice match. all pros in soccer. hendry did well. but i like brazil more. haiz. im currently using my psp to blog. bo pian lah. bro using comp. its quite fun anw. its alr 540. no nid sleep le. but die lah. still got alot projects to do. haiz. btw my forum is up.=) tiredness engulf me.

2006-07-02T02:26:00.000+08:00

its 2.30. just came back from coffeeshop watching soccer. england v portugal. england lost! their panalty sucks man, but no doubt portugal's keeper, ricardo is good. okay. don talk about soccer already. so tired. woke up at about 9 today and used the computer for a while. editing this blog. added a forum. =) and rushed off to meet lennon at yck. i was so late man. i had to reach yck by 1 but instead i left house at 12.50. hahs. but lennon was no different. we both met on the mrt train. hahas. then went to the hawker centre behind school to meet derek and wenjun. ate 2 plates of duck rice man. its nice mah. $2 only. but became so full after that. derek also brought his PSP with 2 games. nice ones. GTA! hahs. i also got.. then went to school in the nick of time. exactly. hahs. after blahblah, got on the bus at last. and derek, lennon and i were like taking turns playing the PSP. didn felt fun though. XD i was playing songs with my bros hp as i took from him but it became no batt after a short while. haiz. forgot to charge i tink. reached the stadium. kinda. ut it was a "short" walk to the stadium. there were like so many schools. chatted alot on the way. with madeline and others. WAHAHAs. purposely typed out madeline's name. the sun was burning hot then. and we were like walking under the sun. it was qiote long before we entered the HOT stadium. we were literally burning i guessed. but i was seated like away from everyone. bo pian. the usher told me to. but luckily cherie came and sat with me. got a company at least. audrey was also with her. pam and others were sitting behind me. i was happy. i still got pple who cared about me. the sun was so unbearable. hahs. went to buy drinks many tyms, but i regretted doing so. lost money instead. they gave me the money but it seemed like i had to use my own and didn get it back. my accounts is bad. but nvm lah. the first trip, it was with sherlyn[wrong spelling?] and pam. met derek and others on the way. but was angry that they said i pangsehed them. it seems like they were the one. and they kept scolding me. wtf man. just becos he wanted me to keep his PSP and i wasnt able to return? was so disappointed. walked for quite a distance until we reached a vending machine, with like only 3 types of drinks left to buy. green tea, Qoo and something mandrin orange. but derek and the others disappeared then after that they said i pangsehed them again. wtf man. i was like buying drinks with sherlyn and they could see that. i didn really see the show. i was like at the outside of the stadium the whole tym. only watched the finale i guess. but it was nothing really interesting. but played whacking balloons with audrey. hahs. so fun. she abit gong oso. i used the "baloon" and whack her head from behind and she thought it was loretta. hahs. was like laughing away totally. the second tym i w ent to buy drinks was with sherlyn again.but cherie also followed. chatty me chatted alot i guess. the sun was about to set when i went back in to watch the finale. i hate heat man. the show ended but we only left after about 30mins. took many pictures at the meantime. with many pple of cuz. some were with friends like kelvin and others. no many pictures maybe. and we left the stadium and walked the "short" distance to the bus park. nicholas and yusong totally suanned another school man. that school was like cheering a cheer? and they were like following along. our choir was so messed up. it was cut into 2 sections as half had to stop at a road where a police usher will let pedestrians cross after intervals. the other school was like so organized in 3s. at last we reached the place the bus was parked. but then i went back to madeline's gang[?] but she said pangsehed her. was so sad then man. i thought that girls always don want me to disturb them as i was always shooed by girls from my class. i also thought that alwyn could already accompany you and i also don want others to say me lightbulb. haiz. she was like so angry wid me. haiz. got on the bus and madeline slowly can talk le. lolx. enjoyed the bus trip. hahas. got kelvin by my side. hes cute man. and v lame. but she just don want to take a photo with me. i felt weird. she and i always tried to take a picture during choir prac but cannot get a good one but now she dont want to even take. dono why lahs. then i went home. took the same bus with yusong and kelvin. they all had already alighted when the bus reached my stop.i was standing infront of the door as it was reaching but then when the bus sudddenly jerked when it accelerated, the old lady beside me fell. omg. she fell behind me. heng landed on her butt. but why i so suay one. hahs. carried her up then i don care le and went home. hahs.but i was like finding for my mom as i called her to come down as i wanted to eat at the coffeeshop but ishe was no where in sight. but when i reached home she oso not in. then she called and said why i was at home. hahs. then my mom ownself went with my 2nd bro to eat as planned. and i and my 3rd bro went to eat at 1 as we knew there was a match. it ended and here's now. 2.55am. gonna watch the next match.france v brazil. its still a happy day after everything. enjoyed it. and now then i know that i am not so ignored by pple. gonna put this post in my fond memories.

Madeline: Sorry, i didn know that you knew i wasnt around. in my class, i was always shooed away so i thought you are the same. you proved me wrong. wouldnt do it again.=)

Lennon: Please stop saying that i like cherie. Please.

Everyone: who have pictures taken with me please send me. MSN: ultrasze@hotmail.com

2006-07-01T00:35:00.000+08:00

its already 2.30. didn blogged for the past few two days. did nothing actually. its thurs. kinda cant really rmb what happened. okay.. lets see. its thurs. tmr need to hand up projects which i don intend to. heres the interesting part. i was supposed to researched on "diary of post war problems" kinda like a source. but man, i just cant find it. so i just printed out problems on post war. which i was suppose to bring on wednesda but i didn. belicia also didn what. then she summore tell me, szehoe you better bring tmr. she ownself didn bring still want talk big. actresses. haiz. then thursday, i brought it. but si xuan wasn't happy. we hadto use the source and do kinda worksheet. have to think of questions and write out the ans. but my research is alike to ck's and she want me to write about my source. i told her, but mine will be exactly like ck then she just gimme the fucked up face and say anyhow do lah. what the fuck is with the attitude man. then i dono what she told belicia, belicia suddenly come to me and said, are you in the team anot,szehoe. as if i ever said i didn want to do. they are just all the same, a clique. helps each other without knowing the facts. fuck up man get a life. maybe belicia was abit more understanding. i told her what was going on and she gave me another source from the textbook. man, sixuan, don tink you always ACT gong can give a fucked up attitude. enjoyed the art lesson. we had to sketch somewhere/something which you can see from the parade square so i did the facade of the school from the parade ground. did quite a good but no to the details job. chatted with stacy and juinli quite alot. they are quite good friends to make actually. then after school ended, i actually wanted to go wih stacy to find wenyi present but she kinda like don want me to go, so nvm lors. met my family and gang. xueli, cuzzie, and others. went to eat at cwp and went to pam hse. it was the first time for me. kinda bored at there but nvm. then vincent and i went for cycling, with a bike. switch here and there. hahas. but there was like this woman, sorta crazy i think, stood by the side of the road, and scolding something or someone towards the firection of the church. is she cursing the church or what. dono. i only know that she used 4 hokkien vulgarities in 20secs. pam and others also saw it from on top and came down. hahas. did nothing really. sang, like we usually do. and we met a P5 boy whom we talked to. he was a maple freak in which kaihui and i doubted alot of. there isnt much to say about then really. and after quite sometime, after sitting somewhere looking at the crazy woman, after the crazy woman went off, we too took our leave. it was still fun in the end. then here comes friday. kinda rushing in the morning. reached the mrt station at 645 but didn take the train. stayed with stacy to wait for wenyi. guess so. but then vincent came also came. kaihui joined at admiralty. reach the school and literally slept during assembly. was so tired. there was summore so much talks from the ncc and saint john birgade teachers. so sian. blahblah. slept totally during the first lesson. chinese lesson. haha. but i didn really cared lahs. then it was PW and mr wang took us to the comp lab to do reseach. as if anyone did. lite lesson was quite interesting as we are learning about a whole new book. YOU DONT KNOW ME. its true. no one really know me. then we had some group thingy which we have to find evidences about something. then we were talking and talking. chatting and chatting. we = belicia, sixuan, kelvin and donovan. and it was until one point when kelvin opened donovan's wallet and there were like so many talismans in there. then belicia was like, whats is that. oh talismans. EEEK. i wont dare to touch it. and she starts critising buddhism and taoisim. man. she just thinks that HER religion is so good. CHRISTAIN big arh. kao pei. christain cannot touch talismans arh, like real like. make your own believes. that was the BIG thing of the day. after that is english classes. one of the most boring classes. did listening compre today but as usual i didn bring my workbook. did on a worksheet. the listening compre was about a diary entry which was very interesting. it's kinda alike to me i feel. about a loner. and this sentence of the listening compre stood in my mind for so long until now. Silence, always my fortess. Sometimes my present. after school, as planned, went out with sec 1s choir members to eat at the hawker behind. lennon, madeline, norlieen and kelvin. ate quite long i think. was late for choir. but i didn know that kelvin was a lame guy. his jokes were really nice. all with good linkage. choir was quite fun today. the song was nice. titled ONE. dont know what its about but i know its nice. got kinda rap in it for the boys. ms yee couldnt teach much too as she got cough or something.choir ended. went to cwp with kelvin and junhao. both of us, me and kel, bought a waterbottle. yay. lolx. for tmr's SYF thingy. scared no water. hahs. and junhao gotta say goodbye. and think i also met jac at cwp. if its really her, she changed alot. ate dinner at long john with kelvin. he also ate. but he was suppose to eat dinner at home. aiyah. he arh. waste money. hahaha. but hes a good friend. sec1. i can say that he is innocent. pure innocent. with no idea of whats betrayal and backstabbing. it was about 8 and he was afraid to walk his apartment corridor so i accompanied home with him until his doorstep. kinda hero huh. lolx. and blahblah. here i am. infront of my computer. typing. cool. its july 01. yeah! and i have just changed skin. took like almost 7hrs working on it. dont think of changing it anymore for the next few weeks. i just changed it too last 2 days. abit to fast huh. its summore done with my crappy computer. man. my computer crash. haiz. for now, sleep. there's still the dono what SYF thingy. haiz.

to belicia and sixuan, i have wrote this here not for the sake of provoking you both. its better i write it here than saying it into your faces. be happy with it. both of you should already know your own attitude.

2006-06-28T23:40:00.000+08:00

my last post for today. hmmm. learnt something new today. new to me but i dont know for other. anchor point. thought of it as a new way of navigations. gonna make some soon. but i wonder what can i make out of without the laptop and using this crappy comp. only if it did not crash. currently chatting with audrey. dam cute sia. getting very tired already. sleep. hope tommorrow will be a good day. cant hope for a better one. even if its better, the next few days will be bad. thats called equivalent exchange, you have to sacrifice something when you get something good. i always believed in that. you cant really enjoy happiness when you have that thought.

2006-06-28T18:17:00.000+08:00

okay. quite a good day today. but still it wouldnt be good when i cant do the things i want. blogskinning. my god damn laptop crashed with 1 skin i almost posted. DAM! today reach school so tired.didn really do much today. PE was like lame, quite fun lahs. pushing pple so that they will pass. helping them cheat so that they will pass. but bought a PE shirt for nothing. not for nothing lah. i also need it as i have none. the red colored jogathon shirt, it costed me only $5 whereelse you have to donate more than $100 in the card to get 1. then the other lessons were like, nothing. chinese lesson was next but i was totally playing my psp, winning 11. then blahblahblah. after quite long, it is art lesson. quite fun and made me happy i guess. chatted quite alot with juinli and stacy. juinli is quite a nice girl leh. back to the story, we were SUPPOSE to sketch anything at the parade grounds, i guess some just slacked. i did a quite okay job, i think. it is Charachter first next but mr teo dono talk about what. deco-ing the class. $150 budget. quite alot actually. i suggested a reading corner. quite good ehs? and nothing was really made of it. was in the commitee in charge of it though. went out for lunch with the COs (stacy, jeanette, wenyi, juinli) but only after quite some time lah. as the oh5 1e students were disgussing about their class tee. it was sorta a good lunch. good lunch as in i had fun.juinli was chatty and wenyi was lame. jeanette was firece but stacy had none. wenyi -with her normal character- tried to eat a red chilli, as usual served in small cup/dish/saucer and she regreted it. her face totally turned red. lolx. then jeanette was like so scary when she reprimanded her junior. woah. you wont imagine it. stacy, dono lah. dono what is she even thinking at that time. juinli and me ate nasi lemak and the others ate fish soup/noodles. specified huh. and we went back to school for our own cca. did literally nothing during my IT media. played psp and went home when it was time to go, with junhao. and here i am now. so tired. but happy, which the day made me. wenyi isnt so bad after all.

2006-06-28T05:51:00.000+08:00

sianzation was the right word to adjective - as in hive , ive - what i was going through yesterday. in school i got all fucked up. kena caught for long hair but actually don really care lahs. save money, cheap cuting. summore now my hair still quite long. heng i was almost one of the last one to cut man. and my hair was also cut by a better barber, as there are 2. then got back to class, reached hell. kidding. DnT lesson is so damn sian man. summore got mr teo, who is always the one who catch me for long hair. he today even more siao, catch bryan. i requested to go for recess as i haven had one and he gave me 10mins. it was totally not enough though the queue was fucking long with pple cutting here and there. the sec3s. drank only a cup of soya milk in the end. the next lesson was english lesson. a slacking lesson type i should say. but today mr chin also siao one.. make us do so many hmwk in class. i just copy all lahs. mus thank the pple whom i copy from. zongqing and christopher tang. hahs.after that 1 and a half hour of retardness, it was at last the last period of the day, chinese lesson. don care anything man. dono why today belicia can talk so much so chat wif her lor. then after school, went with belicia, sixuan, choonkeat, and brina to yishun mac to eat and do project. totally slacked lah. summore met until cuzzie jaslyn and gang at there. quite an enjoyable day i guess. its now almost 6 in the morning. my dad and gonna fly to london for his company dono to do what, and my mother is seeing him off. my 2nd bro too who studies in ngee ann poly. heng he didn bring the psp with him. yeah. so gtg SCHOOL.

2006-06-26T19:54:00.000+08:00

argh. fuck! blogger.com is going nuts.. half of my html codings keep disappearing. whole day i think no one had visited my site. haiz. so how's my day today? normal. or quite bad huh. stepped into school the first minute immediately tio caught by a ah-neh cher. sianz. say my hair too long, shirt always not tucked in. sian leh. i am like trying to keep my hair longer and suay suay tio caught. then theres the what homeroom system. heng my class not in it man. mus thank vance. first few lessons were so boring. arrange chairs and table and dono the cher tok about what. i don care anyw. the whole day was boring lah. luckily got bring psp... played during chinese lesson. today mr soon need to go for meeting then cannot come. but why mus he call a relief cher man. summore the relief cher got her own class. 2 classes of students fit into 1 class. omg. after school went out for lunch with wesley at the hawker centre behind the school. wesley is quite a good person actually. hahaha. i aint gay. nvm. then choir was quite fun too. 30mins before choir, madeline, norleen and i were like trying to take a 3 person photo but at last still cant get a good one. the song sung today was quite nice. got some kind of momentum. opps. i am not saying others aint nice. but today choir was slack and i like it man. was like arranging the arrangement? of seats and things. only about 1hr of prac. 30mins of sectionals and 30min of full. went home with yusong, yiyuan and dexter and kelvin. we were like saying yiyuan's name out loud in the mrt. hahs. but i don really like him. kinda act at times. but what can i say bout him. then at yishun yiyuan alight and we continue our long trip. was also playing the psp then. reach causeway and yusong wanted to see specs so follow lor. then see finish le then go take bus and dexter take other bus. wad english sentences man. nvm. then reach woodgrove yusong still want to see specs. but i cant go into the shop, hahs. cos the uncle hate me man. i last tym made a specs at the shop and paid $10 deposit but didn go collect. and the specs cos like $150?? hahs. hem mus be dam angry rite now. nvm lahs. and then i reached HOME. this is how i spent my day. hmm. tink so. cheryl: cheer up lahs. =)

2006-06-25T22:07:00.000+08:00

okay. back from fetching brother to camp. luckily cheryl was there to pei me man. if not i will be bored sick. haiz. school reopens tmr. sianzation. just hoping to be able to bring psp to school. scared my other brother take it. hmwk. didn even touch. at least i have some pple on the same boat. amy also didn cared about it. and just got my first email referring from this blog. its from minyen. hahs. sorry man, dont feel like doing requests skins these few, erm, weeks. hahs. i am just making skins when inspirations comes to my mind. its already 10 now. waiting for my 3rd bro to come back, or is it just an excuse to not sleep? dont know. its a school day tmr, back to normal again.

2006-06-25T19:34:00.000+08:00

hmm. today. tension is building in my heart. didn even touch a single homework and school reopens tmr. haiz. blogger also crashed just now. half of my codings disappear just like that. now the LINK ME section is gone. don feel like putting it back at the meantime. nvm lahs. did many skins today but only submit one. did 3 today. one for my brother and 2 to be submitted. i feel that my designs were like rocking hot today man. just so weird. simple skins yet nice. dono what to do tmr if teacher collect hmwk. so worried. later going out again to follow my dad to fetch my eldest brother back to his camp. haiz. dam frustrated at myself. totally wasted my hols. no money to buy friends's presents too. haiz.

2006-06-24T22:57:00.000+08:00

hmm. what should i say? kinda happy today. did what i wanted. changed my blog totally. alright. one by one. changed to FMA skin. changed format of my designs. changed format of my profile. changed colour of my tagboard. added contact me. changed format of banners for usage. how did i do it in just a day. hahaha. but i am kind of worried now. didn even touch a single homework. today i also wasted quite sometime taking care of my sick bro. haiz. and just went with my dad to fetch my eldest bro from army. man. felt like i got pangsehed. as he wanted to watch a night movie, scary movie 4 at 9.50, i went with him. knowing that i wouldnt able to enter, i tried my luck. my bro also say they wun check. end up that i have to go home all by myself. haiz. wasted time again.

2006-06-24T22:40:00.000+08:00

This is how i spent my 14th birthday. Its not today btw. 18/04/2006.
wassup? hmm.today.my bday! Last yr, i rmbed clearly, my bday was teerrriible. i oni got 1 present. haix.Thus, my hopes werent high tis yr.But now until today, i realised i got my real friends. My mei meis, Stell and Yuh yan, gave me a...erm...how shud i put it..a dogtag? (try to post it nxt tym) Then my jiejie, Val gave me a Famous Amos lollipop biscuit? yea..shud be..BUT I LEFT IT AT SCH. haix~ haha.i really got a bday bash from some people. KELVIN~ that *** guy. guess the word. wah.he sure got some palm whack. *pain* others are jus ants bite.HAHAHA. especailly Jiani's. muahahas.The best thing was my seniors, lynn and siewhui. They 'booked' me today after sch. *anyway no other one did* We met and started walking 'aimlessly' But they were not... We walked until tshui's block below and then they told me to wait for them at the void deck as they wanted to get something.*cos her mom wun let boy in* hahaha. I waited and waited. hehe. Then they suddenly appeared in front of me wib a chocolate cake~! I was so touched. hehe. On the face of the cake there were even some words. It goes 'To our junior, SZE HOE' lolx. Lighted up the candles in which we met many difficulties as IT WAS RAINING! I made a wish *as usual* and blah blah. Each of us ate a quarter of the cake. Siewhui ate until lyk..dono wad lah.haha.*don kill me* After we ate the cake....our hands were full of chocolate cream but we didnt have tissue. So we tried to wash it in the rain but to no avail.haha. But think again. 3 * quarter = 3/4. that means there was 1/4 left. Forgot to say that in the void deck too, was an uncle slping on the chair. But he woke up and i tot that it was bcos we were too noisy.haha. then Lynn suggested to give that piece to that uncle. haha. We did suit and the uncle enjoyed it. X) Cool huh? He even wanted to treat us to drinks at the mini mart but we denied.After that we when to the grassroot near the mrt station. It was a long walk there and it was raining heavily,although i got an umbrella *not my fault! my mom left it in my bag* they jus don wan to use it. So we were lyk running around in the rain chasing each other. Ended up we got ourselves more wet. When we reached the grassroot... i wanted to bowl but it was more worth to play the ARCADE. The arcade was cheap man. 20cents per credit!!! But suay suay i lost $4. hahahas. nvm... with about $10 , 4 from me, we play lyk crazy.hahaha. FUN~! The Daytona machine was lyk so spoiled.hahahax. beware if you are going nxt tym. Then after that we separated and went our ways home. On the train, i met Russell, that giant. And met a new sec 1, darren. Talked a lot. muahahas.When i reached home, my parents brought me out to eat VEGETARIAN~~ quite yummy i guessed. And thats how i spent my most memorable 14th Birthday. lolx. And now Chze Sing told me to enjoy my last 50mins of my bdae. *SOBS* . haix. going to slp liaox. buaix. go oink oink.

2006-06-23T19:01:00.000+08:00

Lets see.. what i did this past few days after the camp. recuperating, getting fucked up by almost everything. maybe not. yesterday my father was kinda nuts. nth nth also want to say me. don let me use the comp. don let me sms when i am about to sleep as he say got rediation, wtf? but it made me kinda happy when i reviewed back the happy moments of the camp. saw the photos, was happy. kinda changed my blog quite alot and i REALISED that i haven touch my whole lot of homework. gotta do it with my mummy[amy] already. hmm. don mind just try out the "Send Me An Email" at the bottom of my profile. Just trying out. Dont know whether will it work or not. And today i realised i could cope with the fear of lighters! as i have to diam hiew[light joss-sticks?] everyday at 5pm, today the candle light was out and i have to use the lighter, I COULD LIT IT! wow. coped my fear. i always thought i couldnt. the moral of the story is: when you dont try, you wouldnt know if you could.

2006-06-22T14:32:00.000+08:00

yeah! loved this 2 days. choir camp rocks man. and now i feel, friends are still makeable. that day morning i was like rushing everything as i haven pack but i didn really cared to be punctual. got everything and left the house with my bro to eat breakfast.reach the coffeeshop at 9 and started eating. guess what, i have to reach the school by 9! lolx. when i reach school, its already like 9.45 but i don care lah. i wasnt still in the mood, same as wenjun. we both are like, don care lah. not enthu. the first activity was ice-breaking but i wasnt enthu and did nothing. wenjun did almost everything in breaking the ice. fiona too. but we got 4th in speed. after that was the BMT. [B]asic [M]usic [T]heory. sianzation. just didn listen and sorta slept but unable to as i wasnt really tired. wenjun was and he really slept. he didn slept for the night before as he was playing lan. but i didn really knew what were they teaching, catch no ball. after that boring lesson, there comes the fun one. amazing race. all around ang mo kio. cool. dono we are lucky or what, our stops were all are all jointed together, and somethings just stuck out minds if we are lost. the first clue was dam easy and one ec we knew where it was. the stadium. then we RAN to the stadium -i also dono why am i so enthu- and got our next clue to dono where le. forgot. enjoyed too much until nothing stays in my mind. on the way of the whole thing, joyce our cluster leader came and joined in. there are also someothers whom i dono but were from choir joined. we got the biggest team i guessed. 8 people. the hardest part was the 3rd station, finding a place called AWWA. omg. the last sentence of the clue was AWWA AWWA 123. lucky one girl from -forgot her name- our team stood out and say that maybe the 123 is a block number and DING. yeah. found it at last. the next clue was even more difficult but got some help from derek. the last stop was at jubilee and wenjun wanted to treat everyone to a drink after running so much so he and i went to a coffeeshop to buy. kinda expensive though. 1.20 per drink. he mustve spent a lot. but i must carry the drinks. LOL. took an mrt ride to school and WE ARE THE FIRST. cool. and we suaned the subsequent clusters which came. but wenjun was still wondering why derek's team wasnt here. they came in last, why, cos the choir Com. people at the stops thought that every cluster had finish and they went back to school. after that and thereafter activities, there was like the waterwar. had some quarrell with jill but nvm, time sweeps away everything. the war is about no letting others make a hole through ur hulla hoop covered in newspaper. i was the attacker at first but gotta be the carrier of the hulla in the middle. bo pian. 5 people attacking us. tired man to siam all the water bomb.one of it whack my face -ouch- and another whack my TOOT -omg!- man violent. but theres no winner to that as its dam difficult to break the newspaper. it was fun though and got a bucket splash of water from wenjun and derek. after that was bathing time and at the meantime, freetime, our cluster was thinking of an item for the disco night. thought of a horror skit. which wasnt really horror but kinda comedy. mixed many horror shows which were funny together. the whole item was about a guy-wenjun- who bought a VCD from a shop and the seller said that don watch it after 11 and don turn to the back of the VCD or something else will happen to him. the guy got all his friends together to watch it and one of his friend turned it over and...saw the price tag. $5 but the guy paid 45. and it was my turn to be on stage as i acted as the ghost which came out of the TV when they were watching. totally made it into a comedy. there was also the cheer we had to make but we left it to the girls. stood behind when they were cheering. wahahas.but still we got 3rd. after that was the disco night of party but i wont talk much bout it as i didn enjoyed much. they played songs and went high. which i don feel that i am in it. some ppl didn enjoy it too i guessed. and the night walk was next. we had to blindfold ourselves and go through an obstacle course. got kinda attacked by some people and we dont know as we were all blindfolded. i only knew that cherie and pam did something. LOL. luckily my blindfold was kind of translucent and i was able to see the light stick they were carrying and identify by it. joyce was green but in actual fact it was blue i also dono why and jill was red.it was fun still and after that it was sleeping time. its was about 2 then but i slept at 5. i was tired, but unable to sleep. kinda humid there in the classroom or maybe its just myself.derek too didn sleep till 5. when i was in a light sleep, got woke up by yiyuan. he was like sleep talking at first and then suddely yelled out. i should say i am kinda frightened too as it was dam dark in school with many tales. then...many hours have past, as if. and its the next day. woke up one of the earliest in the boys bunk and got my toothbrush and went to wash up along with derek. man, the girls were like totally don care which toilets were they in. they conquered the boys toilet. how can we do our nature calls. hahaha. after everything, its the morning exercise. they sot de. early morning at 7+ want us do push ups and crunches. lolx. we are from choir leh. slackers. then it was breakfast and ate dono what lahs. forgot le. then after that it was BMT again. but BMT only for awhile then they continued watching sound of music and our cluster 6 slept and enjoyed the air con with out sleeping bags all opened. i forgot something. i think that we had an activity before that, or maybe after. it was called OA. obstacle anonymous i tink and with our good teamwork, first again. and happy tree friends came 2nd. aiya. we 2 always compete with each other de. i also dont know why our cluster so fast. everything we did were like thought of already. the game was about finish the obstacle courses, 4 of them. the first was circling 10 times and then run a str8 line. was kinda chaotic there as there are many teams running the same time and they cant see whether who cheated too. and when you circle rounds, youcant really remeber how many rounds youve done. but our team was dam fast and we ran to the next immediately. the next course is a finding things blindfolded with your leaders leading you where to go. kinda easy though. and currently first we ran to our third which was at the basketball court. its dam easy lah. we have to lock all out hands together and pick up cards without using hands. use leg lah. so easy and ran to our next. the last was the tang yuan thingy which slowed us down abit. but that course was kinda cheating as they didn state how big must the tangyuan be to be counted as a tangyuan. so the cook which was boonjun anyhow make and we have to use chopsticks to pass it to each other until the last and put it into a container. i was the last and when it came to be it was like totally out of shape and i had to roll it back kinda cheating though. haha. and we gathered all our clues together and go something like AYE AYE CAPTAIN and had to guess who was our anonymous person. fiona immediately thought of yu song and DING we got first. we had to say like "you raise me up" and he had to reply "to more that i can be" but he was eating MAGGIE. lolx. got back to the music room first and we started thinking of our /smc. [S]ound [M]usic [C]ompetition. we had to do on the My Favourite Things songs. thought of changing the lyrics at first but we made it into kinda rap cum comedy thingy. the whole "song" was about me first going out and bring it high like saying "YO EVERYONG, TS HIGH-6 IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT. THIS ARE MY FAVOURITE THINGS AND GET TO THE BEAT YO." and i start beatboxing and my other team members come in etc. wenjun was the rapper and he came it last. it was almost same to the song ass like that by eminem as we changed the ass like that to my favourite things. and at half of the song we changed it to acapelo. we were trying to make it funny i guess. but we had little time to practise as they had other activities. the next activity was kinda candle war?? something almost similar to what of the waterwar but we had to burn the rafia strings tied to the other clusters table. i first thought i was a no ending gae as you know, candles can be blown out very fast but i was able to burn 2 strings of HAPPY TREE FRIENDS and wenjun totally backstabbed 5-sters which was an ally of us. he betrayer lahs. hahaha. its a game anyway and we were winning. but the camp com. suddenly stopped the game as it was no ending. we were winnning de lor. but nvm lahs. and we went for lunch while the camp com. thought of the next activity which was kinda chaotic. it was similar to the obstacle course but it was of course a whole new different courses lah. the first was passing small flour bags until the last person who will run and put it on the ground. similar to what of the tangyuan course lah. we were again leading first and ran to our next which was passing plastic disbosable cups only using a satay stick in the mouth. it was kinda easy though as we had a good team. and we were still leading first but unable to proceed to the next course as boonjun who was holding the course paper -to be signed by the camp com. so that we can proceed to the course- wasnt able to find it! other teams went off before us lor. but it is just a game lah. we were able to catch up and got 2nd. but the 3rd course also helped us as many of the other teams who went before us ran the wrong way and got almost like lost. wahhas. the 3rd challenge was forming a chinese word which our bodies. we got all the easy word though and boonjun was able to see what were we making. one of the word was "xiao" which mean small and the other was a "zhang" which mean erm, grow? then third challenge was passing a balloon with only our heads. it was an easy challenge but we were still unable to catch up with the first cluster which was HAPPY TREE FRIENDS. went back to the music room and watch the sound of music, erm i think i got the timeline wrong. nvm. after everything it was dinner time. at last, we were able to do the food cheer we wanted to do since the afternoon meal as we were unable to do during our afternoon meal. it was totally a hokkien version of the foodcheer many pple know. the foodcheer goes like that. Are you hungry? Very Hungry. Hungry Hungry. Very Very. Hungry Very. Very Hungry. Chi-ka-la-ka-pi-ya-pi-ya X2. JIA!. imagine it as hokkien. cool huh. hahaha. and some other team also did some cheers. it was kinda close to SMC already and we did last minute prac. it was at last, SMC. wow. kinda cocked up though. i also felt that our item was good. good to the point i expected. wasnt hilarious enough. but nvm, the audience still laughed and cheered alot. before the performance while we were practising, jill told us that we were leading 2nd overall as HAPPY TREE FRIENDS was leading first by a point different. 76-half and 75-half consequtively and we had to be better in our last performance to be first. it was the momen of truth at last. LOL. AND WE WERE FIRST FOR OVERALL. yeah. got 3rd in our last performance while HAPPY TREE FRIENDS got 5th. wanqi was like going "pls let my cluster be 4th" but she got 5th and threw the chopsticks she was holding. lolx. i was like, man, my team is dam tyco. didn believe it at first. celebrate man and took pictures of the high 678. after all that, after mrs wong ending, it was phototaking time. how can you take a good photo of 100+ pple together. lolx. and mrs wong and miss chung was like anyhow snapping pics. fiona and i were like making lame faces, of shock and of rockers. it was a fun and memorable camp i guessed. one of my hand full of good times. at the end of everything, i was actually going with wenjun to get some food to fill our stomachs but he bangsehed me at last. went home with pam and her friends whom i dono so i didn even talk much. pam then asked me i not angry when he pangsehed me meh. i wanted to say, i am already habited to it of pple pangsehing me.

Breaking the Ice

Exercise! Just woke up.

Disco Night

-The Item Performance

-Our Cheer

The Obstacle Anonymous

The Rally (i think)

It was a nice ending.

Most of the images are of High 678, so for others, this is the link to the other images.

www.uvphs.shutterfly.com

Still waiting for more images.

2006-06-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

okay... lets see what i did today. totally nothing. no shit's done. and got reprimanded for nothing. was like busy with my bro's going army as usual every week. and this time he forgot to bring his pack. wtf? how can you forget something so important? and my dad wants u sto go again to giv him the back at the camp. wtf? he say we should be reminding him if he forgets something. but man, we dont even know what he have to bring. HE IS GOING army and not us. fuck lah. and now we dont want go and he gets angry then say he want us to all sleep when he get back. fuck lah. my dad is always so unfair. today also many unfair things happened. he wore the wrong slippers and instead wore his home slippers and he said he was in a rush then want me exchange. wtf? he can ask my other bro's and why ask me? he is always so biased. some day... HE will know. my life is just so fucked up now.

2006-06-18T23:10:00.000+08:00

man. tiring day today. my mom woke me up at 12 and said "faster dress up, we're going for movie." i was like, totally confused. my family didn go for a movie before, together. wahahahas. rush to bath and everything and off we go. many things happened. first we went to meet my 2nd bro then go food replublic where my dad and 1st bro is waiting for us and ate there. the food is of cuz good there. real good i guess. then my 2nd bro have to go back and work. we then walked to lido and bought tickets for GARFIELD the movie. theres no others anyway. but the movie only start at 5+ so we also bought my 2nd bro's ticket as he stop work at 5 too. we go isetan see-see and blahblah. at last the movie was about to start. bought just 1 tub of popcorn and went in. what should i say? if i can rate it, i would rate 1 out of 5. wahahas. but really, the storyline is too common. its about 2 cats who look like each other. but 1 was a prine and the other is just a house pet and they got mixed up. very common right? but its good if you are watching with your family. cos there's no other show like that. then we went to check out some psp games as my bro wanted to trade in the Untold Legends 2. that game is really boring. changed to a dam cool game with a $50 top up. and thats everything that happened. man. she tagged at my tagboard and it seems that i am starting to miss her. its 2 yrs already but why until now then i feel that?

2006-06-17T00:42:00.000+08:00

woppie!.. its was an enjoyable day in the end. CARS the movie, i recommend it. it has all the feelings into 1 moive. touching movie i should say. funny too. but man, i got some phobia of the mrt now. it was rushing, just before i step out of my house for orchard to meet my bro. so i just ate my medicine with an empty stomach, which made me feel nauseaous. to make matters worse, the mrt ride was long.. with no place to sit. haiz. but it was all worth it. my hp suddenly too became okay when i wanted to take photos as memories, of myself i guess. but one thing to remember, DON EVER MIX RIBENA WITH PEPSI. it destroyed my drink. hahaha. went to far east plaza to meet my other bro after his work but we went into shop for somethings i guess. my eldest bro was like running around finding a 77 street shop which is still open, but man, its already 10+. so we just went to xcraft and he bought some magnetic earrings. i asked him why dont he just pierce and he replied, i wont ever pierce it. not answering my qns. nvm. meet my other bro and got into my dad's car and went off some place to eat as we haven ate a thing, except popcorns, duh. dinner was alright and we went home. so its now i am typing. listening to music and typing, and sweating. needa bath. i stink-ed. =)